Char Goes To Witch School - Episode One

"Hey Mum!" Char yelled excitedly. "I've got a letter. It says that I've been accepted into witch school!"
"It sounds like they've accidentally left the first 'T' out and added a 'C' and a 'H'" Char's mum laughed.

To get to the witch school, all Char had to do was imagine herself there. For a joke, Char imagined a really spindly tree with a huge castle turret protruding from it - while sniggering. But magic has a sense of humour of it's own, and a really spindly tree with a huge castle turret suddenly appeared.
"OK, how am I supposed to get inside?" Char asked herself.
As she thought this, a leaf fell off the top of the tree and floated it's way down to Char, slowly. As it got nearer, it grew bigger. The leaf slipped itself under Char's feet and made it's way up to the castle turret. As the leaf glided along, Char noticed a noise coming from behind her, like when someone blows a loud raspberry for the longest time.
"Is the leaf farting?" Char wondered.

Char found herself inside a room. It had six desks - a girl about her age sat at each desk except for the one at the end to the left of her. Every girl was staring at at Char, which made her feel uncomfortable. There was a bigger desk at the front of the room, with a cheery looking woman standing behind it, smiling at Char.
"Welcome to the Witch School," she said. "I am Miss Broomstick-Mubrouypu - whatever you do, don't spell out the last bit backwards, or there will be dire consequences. And these are your classmates who, like yourself, imagined the school looking like the most ridiculous looking thing you could think of and didn't realise that the joke was on you. During your time here, you will be learning really useful spells like putting a spell on the TV so when your mum is watching her favourite programme, everyone sounds like they're on helium and it's stuck like that even when she changes the contrast. Another useful one is to turn the vegetables in the freezer into chocolate ice cream, and makes your mum think she went down the wrong aisle in the supermarket."

On Mondays, Char and her classmates took Chanting lessons. Miss Broomstick-Mubrouypu had told them this was a necessary magic, it taught you to say spells in the right voice. If a spell was said in the wrong voice, things went wrong. Miss Broomstick- Mubrouypu told them of a student once who had tried to turn a dog into a human, said the spell in too low a voice, and the dog stayed as a dog, but was given the power of speech, with it's voice sounding like Barry White.
On Wednesdays, they all look Maths. Again, this was a necessary magic, because you had to be able to make a potion in an emergency. Miss Broomstick-Mubrouypu told them about a student (The same one from the Chanting story) who could never tell the difference between ounces and pounds, and they were supposed to be making a potion to make a dried up dead plant come alive again, added an pound of beetles legs instead of an ounce. Not only did their plant come back to life, it whined like a bratty child that it was hungry and wanted to eat beetles, and when it was given beetles to eat, said that it didn't want to eat those beetles because they were the wrong shade of black.
One of Char's classmates, a jokey girl called Mary asked if Miss Broomstick-Mubrouypu was that student, and Miss Broomstick-Mubrouypu blushed a very deep red.
Tuesdays were for Spelling lessons and Thursday's were for Potions. On Friday's, there were tests all day to see what Char and her classmates had learnt.
The plot of this story begins in a certain Chanting lesson, when Char had a run in with one of her fellow students...

Char had been at the Witch School for a few months. She was now able to chant without Miss Broomstick-Mubruoypu replacing the Chanting Classroom window everytime she opened her mouth. Char was also picking up on which ingredients go in which potion. One of her first Potion lessons, she was supposed to be making a potion to turn a jar of honey into a swarm of bees. She put in an extra teaspoon of sugar, and the jar of honey turned into a jar of raspberry flavoured jam, which it turned out actually blew a raspberry whenever you said that particular word.
At the beginning of a certain Potions lesson Miss Broomstick-Mubruoypu said that she was going to try them at teamwork. She was going to put them in pairs and they had to work together to make a potion. The twist was they weren't told what potion, they had to work it out from the ingredients they were given.
Char was paired up with Sophie. Sophie took one look at the ingredients and said: "I think it's a potion to make dog biscuits."
"It can't be," Char replied. "The beef and the jar of dog slobber is there. But the jar of dog's breath on a hot day isn't there. It's a stinky potion, and it's the jar of dog's breath on a hot day that makes it smell."