Is this the day?

I suffer from an endless recurring dream
I carry my sister and over the rail we lean
I dream she is tumbling to the river below
Is this the day I changed?

Dropping my eyes as your group walk past
Solitary, self sufficient, a true outcast
Jealous of your humour, company and fun
Is this the day I changed?

Too many words, no clue to the right one
Trying to say I’ve been unhappy all along
Loved ones with no way to understand
Is this the day I changed?

‘I love you,’ you say as we fall asleep
During your dreams you must take a large leap
‘I’m leaving, its over,’ you’re up and you’re gone
Is this the day I changed?

Awakening to darkness, everything new
I was stuck like this when the north wind blew
Unsteady feet and stuttering heart
Is this the day I changed?

I am a free woman but cannot find my song
Suffering, isolated, I do everything wrong
I am stuck in an illness and feeling its sting
Is this the day I changed?

I am thick, stagnating like a pond in the heat
Devoid of substance, like chaff without wheat
Finally I broke, reached for a helping hand
Is this the day I changed?

Each day is new, an opportunity
A thousand eyes watch in constant scrutiny
I must keep acting, what is the choice?
Will today be the day that I change?