Autumn Gold.

Cruel November, empty November, the stone I sit on has lost its heat,
An Indian summer, they said on the news, but the sun is sinking into
Shadows cast along the riverbank and the leaves fall, burnt umber, sienna brown,
Verde green, burnt orange, crimson red, they lay like broken dreams under my feet.

Autumn Gold.

We walked here just two hours ago; I sat down and watched the river, sluggish tide
The lifeblood running out along with the season's change, now violet, then brackish brown
Dirty tides, seagulls screeching, bikers pedalling running hastily dreams to catch while
We kicked the leaves, scuffed our feet, found nothing left to say, it had been said before,

Autumn Gold.

Was there a springtime of our love? There must have been once, heart's beating fast the sap rising, was that all it came too, the flush of youth, juices flowing, arms held wide to grasp for one moment all life had to offer, an endless journey of discovery while we lay on dew-drenched grass and swore we would never part? Now its left behind in harsh worded echoes

Autumn Gold.

Meadows of poppies, red against the summer sun we laughed and sang, you spun me around high above my head the shy whirled and we lay in the grass you kissed my bare feet, I remember thinking this will never end, this bright day in the summer of my life we were invincible, nothing could touch us, we were so in love, so why did I think of:

Autumn Gold.

Cosy rooms warmed by fire and the heat of our bodies, how we loved that season, giggling like children, bodies spent, drinking wine from each other's lips, holding hands under the duvet, you said 'I will never love another 'and I believed while life drifted by me and chances were lost, never to be regained again. But I was still young or so I thought, but time crept by to

Autumn Gold.

Icy fingers gripped my heart, 'I have to go away, just for a while, we need the money to get married, have children, ' so you said. Winds howled, the Christmas lights twinkled, you came home for just a while, fiercely I held you, no, it would never happen in winter. Snow turned to slush, skidding on pavements the hours ticked away, you left and once again I thought of

Autumn Gold.

Seasons passed by, each time I thought 'this will be the end', but each time you returned, luring me into a false sense of security. Spring to summer, autumn to winter we ran with the tide, each moment a false dream never realised until it came, that day, you had found another to love while I waited behind, lost in dreams of the future, never knowing this time would come.

Autumn Gold.

Many years passed by, years of anguish, years of pain, my life was suspended, never more to trust again and then you called, out of the blue we must meet again, you loved me still, we could start again, put the past behind us it was all a mistake, your fault you never meant to hurt me. Could we meet, could we talk, so reasonable, so sure, the time was set, once more?

Autumn Gold.

Now I sit alone although the moon has risen in the sky, a harvest moon, an orange moon. Couples walk by on their way to the pubs, hands in each other's jeans, don't they know that dreams fade fast with the morning sun? An old man passes by with his dog, Evening I say. He nods his answer; he knows somehow that I am forever trapped, in this moment of

Autumn gold.

Lisa fuller. February 2006.