Shrimps

They do great shrimp here Charlie, great shrimp
indeed.

I don't like shrimp Lulu, I'll have
steak.

It's a fish restaurant Chas for crying out
loud, Lulu, got a
Cigarette?

Dan, you prick, we are in
LA.

Yeah, we can Hoover massive lines of coke off
the dinner table big time but not have a fag. Would they do me a steak
if I gave them an extra twenty?

Right you two lets
get this clear, no steak and no cigarettes and if one of you mentions
drugs again I'll stuff a crab right up your arses. We are meeting our
baby brother Matthew remember that. This is not
Walthamstow!

Yeah, like he's innocent. I wonder if
we could swing it if I offered twenty extra for the steak and if you
Dan offered ten for the smoking facilities. It will be along the lines
of the classic 'Surf N' Turf' with a fag thrown
in.

Boys, boys. The word fag means something else
around here, please refrain from use it. What do you mean that Matthew
is not an innocent?

Come on Lulu! You know that he
was no angel before he came out here. Fingers in all sorts of pies and
pulling out all sorts of plums as well. Dan, do you remember the night
he carved Jimmy Swan for a bad debt with a smashed bottle of
Babycham?

Yeah, it wasn't Babycham though. More like
Pink Lady, know what I'm saying and there are plenty of pink ladies in
this room Charlie boy, right up Matty's alley
eh?

That's enough you bastards. We are here because
Matthew paid for us to come over for a week to celebrate his success in
the film biz and all you two can do is slag him. How many people you
know get to work with Tom Cruz and Brittany Pears
eh?


It's Tom Cruise and Britney Spears you nutter. God I need a
fag.

No its not, it's Cruz and Pears, Matthew sent
me the video, its in my bag. I thought that we could all watch it
together later back at the hotel.

Video! What video?
Where is it? That man at the next table keeps looking at me and I think
the fucker has got steak!

This video. 'Star Whores
Three. The Redemption' He got tuna by the way.

I
don't believe it. I just don't believe it! Matt's making porn. Right
I'm having a fag, they will have to throw me out these wimps. What a
geezer.

Put that out now! Porn? What are you talking
about? This is legit. It's got Tom Cruz in.

Of
course it's got Tom Cruz in you silly mare. CRUZ and not CRUISE, PEARS
and not SPEARS and if that is tuna then I'm Kevin Bacon. It's porn
sister.

Fuck! Here he is, Matty! How are you bruv?
How about this for starters twenty dollars for a beer and they won't
let you smoke.

Matt! You are looking a bit bling
bling. What's the score with the food here then
mate?

Matthew. When you said Tom Cruz???