A Leaky Faucet/I Beg

You are far away and frail
And have headaches and headaches and headaches
Creaks and cramps and every kind of krankheit
And I'm dizzy, eating supper in front of the laptop again
Like the keypad is an altar on which to offer my sighs

I see half of you shake and raise you a whole
Shivering with emotion in the northeastern night

And my best friend's garden is overrun with weeds
And her bedroom with socks and open books
I once made a pilgrimage barefoot to that place
Sandwiched between the paths of planes and trains

In the evenings if the weight of the whirling world
And the hours bent in offering, and the restless rest
Haven't broken my back again like last week I pace the floors
As if looking for you
Audible in the witching hours as the aimless running of a leaky faucet
I tread, tread, tread like a ghost

On my back in my best friend's bed
Sleep comes easy
So much so that I, insomniac, have used her prone form as a writing-desk
Without waking her
I count constellations in the ceiling instead of sheep
And all the peppermint & chamomile in the world do nothing

And the cigarettes in her lungs
And the diphenhydramine in your system
Knock around in my head
(attempted break & exit),
Beating bloodshot legends into my open eyes
And hammering in bruises above my ignoble cheekbones
All the while, I beg them-
"Go, please go
And leave my friends alone..."

They are amassing armies and I get
Headaches and headaches
Splitting up my skull like the spoils of war