Why I Can't Function

Every day's a gift
But does it have to be another stupid pair of socks?
Just live another twenty-four hours
Just scrape by another day
Don't ask what the point is, don't stop to think
If you stop to take a breath you know you won't start moving again again again again...

(BREATHE)

We bury our worry and gild our guilt
Waiting for the whimper & pretending that's not what's on our minds
Everyone studies and saves for their future like they can't imagine a day
When the last remnants of mankind will fight over the last cyanide capsules
And me, I'm literally paralyzed by the one future no one can prepare for
I can't get out of bed, I can't breathe.

Another day, another damn dollar
Got to earn one to live the other one and
I am so surrounded by people trying to
Earn their days & live their dollars
I don't even know which is which anymore.

Everyone I know has surrendered to Despair already,
That greatest of conquerors,
They shake their heads and wonder
Why I can't just enjoy the time we have left
Or plunge myself into something like reality TV or heroin
And stop over-analyzing
But me, I don't like expecting to suffer
I think some days I should just put a gun in my mouth now, quickly
While suicide is still painless.

And I just. Face another twenty-four hours.
I drag myself through another day,
Going through the motions
And I never stop to ask what the point is- not out loud
I'm told there is no point, just to work and be quiet
Pull myself up by the bootstraps and be grateful...
For the gift of misery. What else is there?