It's a Bug's Life

This bloody Corona virus - what do they think they’re playing at? I mean, it’s our job to spread infections among humans, isn’t it? Why can’t the Corona lot stick to bats or pangolins or whatever other filthy animals they like hang out in? They could carry on like that for years. Why are they muscling in on our territory? After all, we’re not out to kill people, just spread a few coughs and colds about, some flu, a touch of d & v. Nothing wrong with that, surely?

Well ok, there are the more aggressive, the more militant germs and viruses – your c diff’s and your MSRA’s. Some of those guys are out to kill, I admit. But can’t they see what they’re doing? Killing your host is like cutting off your nose to spite your face or killing the goose that lays the golden egg. Brainless! Live and let live, that’s what I say.

And now this new kid on the block, this Corona – or to give it its posh name Covid 19. They’ve ruined it for all of us. All the humans wearing masks, washing their hands every five minutes, spraying sanitiser, bleach, disinfectant everywhere. Why should we suffer?

We struggle at the best of times, what with antibiotics and vaccines, steroids and antiretrovirals. (Our own fault there, perhaps – we should have zapped Pasteur, Jenner, Fleming and co, back in the day, and nipped all that nasty research in the bud. Our ancestors had it easy before that lot got going. But then again, hindsight is a wonderful thing…)

And now, of course, those crafty humans, all in their labs again with their white coats on and waving their test tubes about, trying to wipe Corona out, and, more than likely, wipe the whole lot of us out, too. Us normal bugs don’t know which way to turn. It’ll be the death of us all. I don’t know what this world’s coming to. I mean, there’s only so many times you can mutate, aren’t there?