Thoughts at Night

Those who know about these things tell me that I'm supposed to get
eight hours of sleep a night. They also tell me that the best time to
work or read or do anything is in the early morning, just before the
dawn. 'Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and
wise' , I'm informed.

Really? What a load of baloney! Everyone who's ever done even a little
varsity knows that the only way you can get through is to slog right
through the night, every night, every week. Ok, maybe not every night,
but most nights for sure. DEFINITELY when you've got a test coming up!
Eight hours of sleep? Give me a break!

And when you leave varsity? I'm lucky these days if I get five hours of
sleep. No, I don't spend every waking hour working. I spend most of my
waking hours working. When I get home, then I get some time to do what
I really want to do - cook myself a nice leisurely dinner, read a book,
do the daily crossword, listen to a couple of CD's, watch the news.
Doing my own thing takes a lotta time. Eight hours? Whatta joke! As if
I'd choose to SLEEP when I could plough my way through another
delectable adventure with Bertie Wooster and Jeeves!

Those who know tell me I'm digging myself an early grave - I have
virtually no exercise, I'm definitely overweight and I spend hours at a
desk, at work and at home, breathing back in my own stale air. Perhaps
this time, they ARE right. I see myself in the mirror and I rummage in
my cupboards for my old college albums - that lean, mean hunk is
ME???

I look at myself and decide - it's time to lose that weight, pal!
Tomorrow, I make a new beginning - fat-free diet, an hour on the
stationary bike in the morning, a jog in the evening, plenty of fresh
air. I'm really puzzled how time seems to stand still now - some mad
scientist somewhere has managed to keep time always at 'today'.

I'm waiting for tomorrow to start.

They also tell me it's time for me to get married and settle down. To
start a family and make my life useful.

Isn't it funny that you're always the only one who doesn't know what's
best for yourself?

Tonight I look at myself in the large bathroom mirror - brushing my
teeth. It's 11.30 pm and I'm just getting into the swing of my
night-life. I've just tackled the crossword - successfully- and now I'm
going to go sit at my computer 'cos I feel the 'URGE' to write. I've
got the TV on in the background showing the latest UEFA Cup match and
the radio on to delicious late-night music.

I rinse my mouth out and stare at myself in the glass. 28 in six months
and it's showing in my jowls.

Tomorrow, I'll start on that diet.