How it Ends?

Travelling through life I currently find myself on a journey through psychotherapy. Recurrent episodes of depression and work related burnout have culminated in the need for some deep soul searching. Recently this has meant some intense EMDR therapy - a specific therapy that aims to process traumatic memories properly so that they are no longer obtrusive in the present, so that they no longer bubble up and seep into the everyday. It is hard work and emotional and the following is an attempt to describe the experience of things resurfacing........ the things you think have been dealt with, the things you think you have put to bed, those things........

How it Ends?

Drama and Loss

Unquantifiable loss

All waived off as if nothing

But they weren’t nothing.

Carried on as if nothing

But it wasn’t nothing

The world oblivious

But still it wasn’t nothing

Drowning in slow motion

Sinking deeper in the nothing

Year after year

Loss after failure

After loss

Denying the nothing

Ignoring the nothing

But it still wasn’t nothing

It was never nothing

It was never nothing

And then the nothing started to scream out

The nothing began to cry

The nothing wanted to claim its place in the world

So it carried on screaming

Until one day

The nothing stood up and entered the room

The nothing was here now

Sat in the room

Staring me in the face

The nothing was here at last

Looking me straight in the eye

Demanding to be heard

So here we are at last

The nothing and me

Squaring up to dance at last