Unbroken
By Verity Valentine
Tue, 03 Aug 2010
- 1266 reads
5 comments
Time is paused in honour of the tension between a question and the answer.
My eyes jolt
Frantically scan, from left to right
My heart pumps so rapidly, I forget to breathe.
It breaks through my chest
Burning like a candle beneath your fingertips.
A brassy discoloured texture
An aroma of an old people's home
Worn pins on the clock above your throne
Offends the atmosphere, here.
Everything is silver
An entire room plainly tainted silver.
With love. With luck.
Here all along
Rather not stick around to watch it's fate revealed
I'd rather live alone, with my hatred concealed.
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Comments
Some lovely parts to this,
Some lovely parts to this, but I think it would work better with a more 'poetic' structure - i.e. shorter line lengths and more controlled deployment of words on the page.
Did you mean 'question' in the first line?
J x
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I really like this, nice
I really like this, nice original idea and lovely images.
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