God Can't Help A Mind Made Up

"I'm really attracted to you, and call me crazy but I think you kinda like me to."
The minute the words left my mouth I wanted to take them back and swallow them. What did I want her to say? I knew she liked me but would she do what I was asking her to do? It was her choice I would never force her into anything, but putting the offer right out there like this, it's just crazy. No it's stupid. She's 20. And I'm married, what in earth makes me think that she would want to be involved with some like me, a man who would do this to his wife. She's 20. She can't even legally drink. She's 20. 20. 20. God help me I don't care.

"I think about you, perhaps more than I should admit. I do want you."
His shyness brought out a forcefulness and aggressiveness in me. I was determined to give him a green light. In the end it was his move, he was the one with something to lose. I'm not stupid I know it would just be sex. I don't think I'd want anymore than that. Leave his wife? No, that would be awful. It would just be sex, not even an affair, just a fuck. But man oh man, it would be good. The attraction between us is something so strong that I swear I can feel him touching me from across the room. He just has to look into my eyes and I can feel him, my skin gets hot and goose bumps run across my head. God forgive me, I know I always said I was never the kind of woman who would do something like this to another woman, but I want him so bad.

"Luke I'm home."
Where is he? I wonder if he is in the back room, on the phone again? Who is he talking to? What is that number on his desk? The one he only seems to call on Tuesday nights when I'm at the PTA meeting, and Thursday nights when I play hearts with the girls. I know I shouldn't be paranoid he would never do anything to hurt me. But I just can't shake this sick feeling. I can't help but wonder if he is really going to New York on business this weekend, and even if he is, is he really going alone? I refuse to believe it, its not happening. God what's wrong with me?

"Please say you'll come with me?
"Every time.
Click. Click. Knock.
"What do you want for dinner honey?