A Rainbow in The Storm

Iris ran into her room and threw the door closed, heart pounding and sweat dripping form her head, but she could still hear the voices. The voices penetrated the door with such force it felt as if the words themselves were pounding against her chest.

Stop please, not tonight, she thought.

Then the sound came, the thud of a body being thrown against the wall. Iris knew it was going to come, she had been waiting for it but it still jolted her system in the worst way, like being doused with cold water in the middle of winter. Iris threw herself on the bed and hugged her pillow. She faced the gray stained wall, the paint was chipping and there were cracks everywhere. It reminded her of her life, broken and ugly. There was no way out of this chaos that seemed to blow as constant as the wind. The burning behind her soft brown eyes started, slow at first and then inevitably the hot tears were forcing their way out. They streamed down her face and over her nose; tears saturated the pillow. Then again, the sickening thud of her mothers body being thrown about like a rag doll. Her mother's voice erupted as her pain hit the brink. There was a thickness in Iris's throat, because she wanted to scream to. She had suppressed the feeling as long as she could and then let it out all at once. An excruciating scream that filled not only the room, but the whole house as well. He heard it; there was no doubt about that. It didn't take long for him to come charging into the room.
"What the fuck was that about!"
It wasn't a question so she didn't answer. Turning only her head towards him, and keeping her body facing the wall. Looking past him, her mother was lying exhausted and torn. Her body was hanging out of her doorway and into the hallway. In a quiet almost to calm of a voice, looking straight into his eyes, Iris said without fear or hesitation, "You're evil."
"So¦" he simply replied. He took three steps into the room and stood over her body, "you really think I give a shit what you think about me."
She stayed silent wishing she could kill him with her unforgiving stare. He reach down and pulled her up by the hair so that she was sitting in an up right position facing him. Trying with all her might not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her in pain she suppressed the desire to cry out with all the strength she could find.
"You are nothing, you stupid little bitch. Nobody cares about you. You're ugly and pathetic."
She hated the fact that she almost believed him.

No it's not true, I am better than you. I'm not, I'm ¦ I'm something ¦ I can't believe you, I wont, she kept telling her self.

As he pulled back his fist to strike her she lunged at him with a force she didn't know she had. Perhaps out of shock more than anything, he fell back and released her hair. Iris swung at him and with each swing she felt all that hatred for him exploded in every hit. Every moment that he made her feel small and worthless and every moment that he made her hate herself surfaced. She refused to let him make her think this was her fault. It was his fault he was the demon not her, he deserved to be beaten bloody, not her. She wasn't even watching what she was doing; she didn't care, just as long as every strike hit something.
Then everything changed; it came so sudden like a storm in the middle of June. Once he had stood all the way up and gained his balance there was nothing she could have done. He knocked her clear across her room into the oak bookshelf; she saw the blood. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. The pain, chaotic and fierce, engulfed her until she fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

When she finally awoke, some two hours later, staring at the blank pale smooth walls of the hospital ceiling, something ceases inside of her. She had felt so much pain and hatred there was simply no room for anymore of it inside of her.

I held her hand. She didn't know I was there, no one ever does, but I was by her side giving her the strength to do what she must.

I'm not going back. Not to him not to that house and not to her. He has killed me with his hate and she has killed me with her silence.

I squeezed her hand and stoked her head. I whisper in her ear, I will be with you. Iris felt her face flush and a warm sensation filled her, and even though she couldn't see me or hear me, she knew I was with her.