My love to him

He said, all I want is friends,

And then he added,

I hate to say we are 'just friends'...

And me, I was wondering, were we not friends already? Are we not just friends?

What did he think we were, anyway?

Can’t some 'just friends’ touch each other, sometimes too? Is there something wrong in that?

All I want is friends too.

All I want is to express the love I feel and share it with my friends.

Some friends I hug, some I talk with, some I caress and some I share the ecstasy of love through

Complete body touch - is there something wrong in that? Am I seeing something which he does not?  

I love a lot of people. I love all the people. I love life. I love being alive.

I wake up every morning, repeatedly thanking the wonderful two gifts of my eyes, allowing me to see the beauty around me.

I love you, I told him, I love you for what you are, like I l love others.

My love to him and others is a state of mind where I let him and all the people I love, be what they are, free, UN attached.

We are connected through the walk in the same forest of life, yet on different paths, meeting sometimes, sharing journey sometimes, and branching off into new adventures with the other walkers of light.

He messaged me, said he would like to see me again, as friends.  Me, not knowing if there is a definite definition to the word friends, decided to flow and follow my heart who wanted to touch him again.  

It will be hard for me not to touch you, I wrote to him I think I can handle that, he responded.

I rode the train and the bus, taking time off from a challenging, continues hard working routine, into the unknown, ready to explore the meaning of friendship.

He greeted me with a dry friendly contained quick hug. I was happy. I came happy.

We touched each other that night in that slow gentle wave of desire, I have learnt to adore through my experience with him. I told him previously that I have experienced the best love making with him. It was true. It wasn't about the orgasm I had or the positions we took, it was about the nature of his movement, the respect I felt he expressed to me, as a woman. He was attentive, very attentive and for me this was extremely geniuses and highly arousing. I can't find the word to explain how aroused I was because it wasn't a sexual high, it was the high of being free, believing that it was his presence that allowed me so, without questioning why and how, to feel free, and to be just me.

We slept naked next to each other and woke up to another wonderful creation of a new day, with more love making. He got up and had a coffee and a smoke and I lay on the bed, on my stomach, naked. He came in, sat by me and gently caressed my naked back. I don’t know how much he knew that this act of him, touching me like this, was like being in a bubble of sheer delight and pure love.

I needed to leave. We talked, smoked drank more coffee and as I hugged him, last hug for good bye.  He then nearly killed the moment for me with, we were naughty last night, this will never happen again.

I did not feel I was naughty. I would not even joke about it like this. But I am not him and he is not me so I giggled inside me. He is talking about the future and the future is unknown and not even real, so why should I bother bothering about what might happen or not?

I am here now, I was thinking, saturated with the good feeling of sharing love through much talking, through lovely new music, through touching and through being in the same space - why plan a future?

I was going away; we knew this right from when we met. We might never meet again. We Might meet again. None of this matters.  NOW only matters.

I walked alone to the bus stop adoring the amazing clean view and the crispy feeling of the air,

Ignoring his last statement, remembering the little giggle inside me and focusing on the sparkling gifts of creation, rotating nonstop on the path I was striding on.

Life is beautiful

We are beautiful

Thank you, I said to him in my heart, thank you for everything.