The hunt

By seafret

Sun, 29 Aug 2010
  • 1795 reads
9 comments
 

The hill felt a sudden upset. A flow of red ran down the hill opposite. Crimson cloth, chestnut skin, a sprinkle of silver, alien sounds disjointed, disconcerting.

The hunt flowed and congealed, spilt into rivulets, moved again. Droplets took new courses between streams, weaving some strange pattern of red activity on the green hillside.

Rabbits started, pheasants sounded gun crack cries. Crows rose, starlings reeled a little above trees.

What good does this do, this letting of blood? The hill seemed non-plussed, but unable to act any more than to stick out a root to trip a hound, or catch a rider on the face with an unexpected branch.

Certificate 12
Story
Opinion

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi seafret, What an amazing use of words, you really express yourself so well. Jenny.

 

Submitted by seafret on
Thank you for the kind comment! Wrote this years ago....

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
That's fine, again love to hear more. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Steve Button on
Wow! Lots of great internal rhymes here - blood/good, branch/catch, crows/rose, reeled/trees. I wonder if you could shorten the lines a little?

 

Submitted by seafret on
Ha! I could, I hadn't envisaged it as a poem (may have plopped it in the wrong collection). Just a short fictive piece. But it could become a poem. Thank you, might try!

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
beautiful, I like that this piece sits undecided between poetry and prose. The images you use are so great, I love the idea of nature fighting back in her own subtle ways.

 

Submitted by samkin on
Thank you maggy, I appreciate your comments.

Submitted by seafret on
Oops. Just posted that last comment not realising my dear daughter had logged in under her account!

Submitted by Kahdai on
I really like this one, it has good rythem & rhyming like a poem, I like the end & idea of trees deliberately catching the hunters! K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "