journal entry 8/24/04

I tried a few shrooms tonight. They made me sick and tripping was
kind of a bore, in my opinion. My new friends and I took a long hike up
this steep mountain and into nature, more or less. Now, this is
Southern Oregon Desert nature so... it ain't paradise.We hung around,
smoked a little herb. There were these gigantic round boulders that
were covered with moss. We jumped around on those. I remember thinking
that they looked like miniature earths. But then I had a deeper
thought: they aren't. They are what they are: huge round boulders
covered with moss. We make a great mistake when we start to analogize.
We pretend to greater knowledge than we really have. "This is this,"
from "The Deer Hunter," you know. There's some validity in that. I also
thought about Yogic philosophy and how their ideal is to focus your
attention on one target and stick with it; the object doesn't matter
much. Well, up on the mountain, we didn't have much and I focused on a
bottle of Coca-Cola. Well, I didn't get it tonight. And what do I care
if I ever do? That shit rots your guts, anyhow. Well, I didn't drink.
I'm proud of that, anyhow.
I should tell you about my new friends. They are two brothers who own
a coffeeshop next door. They opened it not long ago. My good friend is
intelligent; he likes my poetry. He's worldly and has some experience
in life. He can kind of silly and feminine, though. He drinks
"Camoflauge" beer, cheap beer and he smokes herb with me. His big bro
Vince is the boss at the coffeeshop. Before I knew him, I just knew
that he owned the coffeeshop. And I would always see him walking home,
puffing a cigar. I admired his spirit, his toughness. I hope their
business makes it. They have good espresso, of the "Stumptown" brand.
They also make steak burritos which are just okay. But I eat a few of
them. I have a lawyer's appointment tommorow. I just want to write
"fuck it" till my hand is too cramped to write.