The Eye Doctor
By Seth Tan
- 695 reads
Lionel stood at the traffic crossing. When the road was totally clear, he looked left then right then left again. He had to check several times as his left eye didn't work well. He hurried across, hugging the paper bag of groceries tightly to his chest.
His parents gave him the name as they wanted to instill the lion’s bravery and strength but it turned out to be a cruel joke.
Lionel was hypersensitive and even girls bullied him to tears. However, a year ago when he was 11 years old, they stopped when his parents were killed in a car accident. Now, Lionel lived with his grandmother and helped her whenever he could. Other relatives refused to take him in.
Lionel huffed as he struggled with the bags. Two more blocks away. He placed the bags down to rest for a while. He stared at children laughing and playing tag at the playground. He didn’t smile. He rubbed his hands to keep warm since his scrawny frame wasn’t much use.
He stared at the playground again hoping someone might notice and invite him over to play. No one did. Maybe it was because of his damaged eye that scared them off. He rubbed his eyes.
“Hey son,” a voice growled. “Something wrong with your eyes?”
Lionel jumped back, hitting the bag down and the fruits and vegetables spilled out. “No, nothing’s wrong sir,” Lionel said while furiously picking the items up.
The man was old with hawk-like eyes and thick white beard. His skin was olive and wrinkled. He gave him a pamphlet. “Here take one. It’s a new business I’m doing.”
Lionel hesitated then took it. It read: “Jack’s Eye Surgery. Your eyes will be brand new. Low cost at $20.”
“$20? I don’t have that much.”
Jack coughed and stared at him. Pointing to Lionel’s left eye, he asked, “What happened to your left eye boy? Got into an accident?”
Lionel’s left eye was always looking to the left. It was throttled violently during the car accident. He replied, “Yes, I got into an accident and hit the window. How did you know?”
“I know way more than you do. Tell me, is it blurry?”
Lionel nodded.
“Does it water and hurt when you stare too long?”
Lionel nodded again and said, “I try not to use it too much.”
Jack pointed at his own right eye. It was dark brown while the left eye was translucent grey. “After World War II, my right eye was damaged badly by an explosion. Couldn’t see anything. Lucky me, my platoon kept some dead guys.” He licked his lips. “So I used a spoon to dig out a guy’s right eye and you know what?”
“You used it?”
“Exactly! I replaced it by surgery on myself and a small mirror. And it’s good as new. Amazing huh?”
Lionel scratched his head. “I learnt in school that you need doctors to do this type of thing.”
Jack waved his hands dismissively. “Who needs doctors when you have magic. Magic surgery.”
Suddenly, Jack’s head whipped up, eyes fixated behind Lionel. Fear was etched on his face. “I...I gotta go first boy. Think about it and call me. Don’t worry about the price.”
He staggered off into a jog then broke into a full run down the street. Lioned looked behind him but there was nothing. Just a red brick wall.
Lionel kept the pamphlet in his pocket and brought the bags home.
His grandma opened the door. “What took you so long? I’m going out to work.”
“Nothing grandma. Will you work late today?” Lionel placed the bag on the wooden chair. They couldn’t afford tables.
“Depends on the business. You know how it is.” Grandma was decked out in her cleaner uniform. “We’ll get your eye fixed once we get the money for your surgery.”
“That’s $5000 Grandma. What about this?” Lionel showed her the paper on Jack’s eye surgery and she laughed.
“This is a bunch of old wive’s tales.” She crumpled it and tossed it into the bin. She patted his head and left.
Lionel did some homework but he couldn’t stop thinking about the surgery. He didn’t want to take Grandma’s hard earned cash. But was Jack’s surgery real?
Finally, he flung his homework aside and picked up the crumpled paper from the bin. He knew what he had to do to give them all an easier life. Who knows, he might make some friends at the playground again. He grabbed the keys and left the house.
Lionel followed the address and reached a group of slum ghettoes. Did Jack really stay here? He found the block and headed up the dinghy stairs. Drunks lay on the floor clutching their bottles and some even looked dead. He shivered.
“The third door on the right with a picture,” Lionel muttered as he read the paper. He reached the third door. Lionel nearly jumped out of his skin. There was a picture on it of a bright red demon with flowing blue beard and wild manes. He looked a bit like Jack.
Lionel gingerly knocked. No one opened. The dark corridor rumbled and Lionel knocked faster. Who was coming?
A figure loomed in the distant end of the corridor. He was impossibly tall, slouching as his head touched the ceiling. Just then, Jack’s door opened and a strong arm dragged Lionel in. Jack slammed it shut and locked it quickly with several bolts.
“Who was that tall guy?” Lionel asked, still shaking.
“The demon that patrols this area. Better you don’t know kid,” Jack said.
Demon? Was Jack kidding? Lionel said, “I’m here for the surgery.”
“Good, follow me.”
They were bathed in the yellow glow of a naked bulb as he walked between rows of aquarium tanks. The water was murky with some dead fish floating. It stank of rotten flesh but the water still stirred.
Lionel came to a metal cage with a small monkey inside. It was staring at him with round beady eyes.
“Is this a stuffed monkey?”
Jack froze. “Be careful. Balthazar has good ears, eyes and teeth. Don’t look at it.”
Balthazar the monkey swivelled in rapid spastic bursts and scratched its bleeding arms. Lionel wanted to say something but carried on behind Jack closely.
They entered a small room that had concrete flooring and peeling wallpaper. In the center was a dentist chair, mottled with holes and dried crimson spots. Next to it was a short metal cabinet.
“Get on it,” Jack ordered.
Lionel paused.
“I said get on it,” Jack said, raising his voice.
Lionel timidly sat on the chair’s edge, not daring to lean back.
Jack slapped on a pair of workmen gloves and then hummed a children’s song. He forced open a jammed drawer in the cabinet and revealed a plastic container. It was filled with eyeballs floating in a purplish fluid.
Lionel felt his breakfast climbing up his gullet. When Jack turned his back, Lionel crept off the chair slowly. He suspected Jack wasn’t a doctor but a collector of eyeballs.
“This won’t hurt at all,” Jack said as he rumbled through the drawer. “I’ve done this many times.”
Lionel hit an empty beer can as he moved towards the door. It clanged loudly.
Jack spun around and his cheeks were flushed red like the demon’s picture. “Get back here you runt. I’m trying to help you.”
Lionel made a dash for the main door. He hit Balthazar’s cage to the ground and it sprung open. It leapt out at him with sharp fangs bared.
Lionel screamed as he dodged swiftly. Balthazar landed into the aquarium with a splash. Immediately, large fish jaws rose out of the murky waters and gobbled the monkey’s head, cracking the skull with a sick pop.
Jack tripped over the cage and his head smashed into an aquarium. Water and blood coursed down Jack’s chest as he struggled to get back up. He growled and pressed a switch on the wall releasing a cupboard door. Another monkey lunged out at Lionel. “Get that boy’s eyes Copu!”
Lionel’s knees shook in fear. He reached the door and tried opening the bolts as fast as humanly possible. Copu landed on Lionel’s back and clawed his back.
Lionel screamed and ran his back into the wall, crushing Copu. He did it again and Copu fell to the ground motionless.
Jack was reaching him. He was holding a spoon. “Come back here!”
Finally, Lionel managed to open the last lock on the door and he dashed out. Warm blood coated his face and back. He fumbled through the dark corridor, forgetting the way out. He was shocked to find he reached a dead-end.
Spinning around, Jack was standing there blocking the only escape route. “I only want your eyes boy. You have special eyes.”
Lionel shouted for help.
“No one’s gonna help you now.” A wicked grin played on Jack’s face as he inched closer. From the darkness behind, a tall figure emerged behind Jack and wrapped a beefy arm around Jack’s neck, choking him.
Lionel watched in horror as Jack dropped the spoon.
“Get out of here boy,” the figure said in a scratchy tone. “Don’t let me find you here again or I’ll take your soul.” He dragged Jack off into the darkness.
Lionel found the stairs and ran all the way out of the building until the first beams of light shone through the boarded windows. He was panting heavily. A passerby saw him and quickly called the ambulance to come. He sighed in relief when it came and the medics attended to him. Better one bad eye than no eyes.
The next week, Lionel recovered fully from his injuries. He didn’t tell his grandma exactly what had happened. Just that he got into a fight at the playground. She wouldn’t believe him anyway. He was lying in the hospital bed when the news came on.
The slums where Jack had lived were being torn down suddenly to build an asylum to cope with the inexplicable rise in mental cases. Lionel hoped that Jack would never appear again.
Grandma knocked on the hospital door as she came in holding a parcel. “This for you Lionel. Must be one of your classmates again.”
Lionel smiled and took the parcel. On it was scrawled “For Lionel.”
Who would send this? He tore the parcel open and inside was a rolled up poster. A rock band perhaps?
He unfurled it slowly and saw it was the picture on Jack’s door - a bright red demon with a flowing blue beard and wild mane.
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Comments
Very much enjoyed the premise
Very much enjoyed the premise of this - I always like the urban fantasy idea of things lurking just below the surface of the everyday. Although no-one could accuse Jack of lurking! The scene in Jack's apartment works very well, lots of action and effective description.
A couple of things struck me. I have no idea how old Lionel is. When I first started reading, I thought he might be a young adult, as he's shopping on his own, but then realised he's a child as he wants the other kids to invite him to play. The way he talks about money to his grandmother indicates someone in their early teens at least, but this doesn't chime with him wanting to play. So is he a younger kid who seems older because of what's happened to him? Because of this, I have no clear picture of Lionel in my mind.
The other thing is that Jack is so obviously dodgy - and scary - right from the start. The reader knows already that this is not going to go well, so you've lost a bit of the tension, and the chance for a bit of shock and contrast when Lionel gets to Jack's neighbourhood.
Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. I enjoyed reading it. I think I've said this on one of your other pieces, but you set up your premise so well that the reader really wants to find out more about this world. I particularly want to know more about the demonic Judge Dredd!
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No, certainly don't edit it
No, certainly don't edit it just because of what I've said. Just have another read through, see if anything I've said makes you view any of it differently, and then edit or not depending on how you feel. It's very important to keep your own style - and other people may have very different reactions from mine. I don't know when you wrote this story - I often find that if I go back to something a few days or weeks after I've written it, I view it very differently anyway.
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