Forgive me

Cherry

By shoe

Wed, 03 Feb 2010
  • 2324 reads
10 comments
 

My sinner I will subjugate
Give up myself like a novitiate
Say three Hail Mary’s, self flagellate,
Chant perpetual adoration
At the alter of redemption,
Surrender to your omniscience
Swear unquestioning blind obedience,
Plead contrition, repent, recant
I’ve already been to hell and back,
for you.

Certificate 12
Some kind of poetry
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
You choice of vocabulary is highly effective, Shirley. I.e. 'Swear unquestioning blind obedience, Plead contrition, repent, recant...' Well done on a much-deserved cherry. Tina x

 

Submitted by shoe on
Thanks Tina, I had to google most of 'em, ha,ha, seriously, I'm pleased I made the effort now,:~D

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Congratulations on the cherry, shoe. As Tina so rightly observes, great word use :--)

cool

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Brilliant last line, Shirley! Well done on a well-deserved cherry ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by shoe on
Kheldar, thank you my darling, one from the head rather than the heart, :~}xx

 

Submitted by Christine on
I really like this. Very good.

Submitted by shoe on
Thank you so much Magic, Pleased you think so!

 

Submitted by shoe on
Hi Christine, thank you very much. Shirley.

 

Submitted by Beeme on
I also really liked this. Excellent choice of words, so powerful and honest. I love the last lines; 'Plead contrition, repent, recant I’ve already been to hell and back, for you.' Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by shoe on
Thanks Beeme, I struggled to finish the poem off effectivly and in the end just left it as "for you", so I'm really glad it worked for you,