Going Down to the Sea

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Thu, 17 Oct 2013
  • 1793 reads
10 comments
 

 

I went down to the sea to be near you;

your voice sprang from the waves.

The timbre of its tone – spray

that drifted with the wind; your smile

spiked the air. Your body shone

the luminous light of blue petrels.

 

Warm still to my touch, those grey-pink

stones where you sat when I wrapped

you in a towel, watching fate open its wings

like an eddying butterfly displaying

its centre-spread like pages in a book;

even still, your head, shouldered and shy. 

 

I went down to the shore to be near you

recalling how you looked death straight

in the eye...swimming for dear life, toward

the horizon; the closest you could get

to where the sea cradles the sky. 

Certificate PG
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Spiritual

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

I wanted to read this because I, loving the sea so much, was attracted by the title. But you got me with this one, Tina. Breathtakingly beautiful. I would say I'm lost for words, but I seem to have written some.

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Bee - thank you for them, so very much.

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Tina,  I agree with Bee...I too love the sea and found emotion and feeling in this poem.  I also loved that last stanza,  thought the words...'the closest you could get to where the sea cradles the sky,'   was amazing.  Brilliant poem as always.  Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Jenny, thank you.  So very much.

 

Tina

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Hello Tina, your blend of 'then' and 'now' makes for overwhelming emotion. I found this both healing and hurting - your sea rejuvenates and yet it ebbs away. Your beautiful visuals on top make this simply knock-out. Would love to hear you read.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hello there, Vera.  

This poem holds a special significance for me, as do your words.

Thank you. 

Tina

 

 

Submitted by a102866 on

I love the warm trail of tears that were left in Nature's wake. Your words bring Nature and Nurture back to life. The symbiotic juncture between the two co-existing worlds is displayed in a breathtaking manner.

 

In the second stanza, I think that the eddying butterfly analogy is alright, but I think that you could make it more colorful. How about this, "Like an eddying butterfly splaying its unique patterns over the stormy waves". And, it would contrast perfectly with the addled head on the supporting shoulder in the final line.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks so very much for reading, and for your thoughts.  More than appreciated.

 

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Dreamy, beautiful words.  Sad, but strangely restful and healing too, as Vera said. Few can paint mind pictures with words as well as you do.

Linda

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thank you, Linda.  A special poem to me, for many reasons.

Tina