A Passing Thought (Poetry Monthly)

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Mon, 14 Mar 2016
  • 2940 reads
10 comments
 
Don’t mind if I scream at the next person tells me, ‘You’re in the best place’...
because I’m not.  Hospitals are great at making you better, but crap
at caring for the dying.
 
Don’t send me ‘Get Well’ cards – both you and I know that’s a lost cause.
I’m not a child, and miracles only happen in the bible.
 
Don’t deny me morphine, please, when breakthrough pain tears me limb 
from limb. My body knows nothing of any inane three hour rule between doses, 
it only knows when it can’t hack it any longer.
 
Don’t speak to me of repercussions...heaven forbid someone should sue
the all-hallowed, all present and correct, all patient unfriendly, revered and respected
tried and tested, National Health Service.
 
Don’t pump my body full of antibiotics. OK so I know I’ve got pneumonia again
but you see I’d sooner die, than have to endure even one hour more of torture.
 
Don’t try and force me to take those pills...because I won’t.  I have the backing
of my family, and don’t look away...look straight into her eyes, as these lungs
of mine slowly sate themselves with fluid and a daughter is forced to watch
her own flesh and blood, her father – drowning.
 
Don’t stand at my grave and say, ‘Ah well, life must go on’...but at what cost, 
and why? But feel free, please, to weep...if you can.
 
Don’t quote ethics at me, 
 
don’t quote ethics to a dog, lying in the gutter
fatally wounded by a hit and run...
 
Don’t quote ethics to anyone.   Not a lot to ask for...a modicum of dignity 
in dying that death of the life – was ours.
 
If we don’t get it then, we may as well throw in the towel...submit
to higher powers. He who knows; the font of all knowledge.
 
He could enlighten us as to why there are always crumbs in the cutlery drawer.
Why, every once in a while, a pair of socks have a tiff in a washing machine
and one of them invariably goes AWOL...
 
I, sure as hell, don’t know.  So don’t ask me.
 
 
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Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Care is more palliative in a hospice nowadays, isn't it? I suppose that is part of the difference between being in a hospital or hospice at such a time? Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

You read between the lines more than successfully, again, Rhiannon.  Yes...palliative care and hospices go hand in hand as I can testify with my own personal experiences pertaining to my daughter.  When she became gravely ill, a few months before she passed away she was admitted to a local hospital.  Thank heavens she was only there about an hour...for me, though, as her mother, it seemed like forever...and I cannot even imagine how long it felt for her.  Even after pleading with the nurses, and them seeing her in agony, they would not adminster further morphine unless the clock permitted them so to do.  But as I say, her stay was so very brief, fortunately..  She was an ex nurse, as you know, and one of her old colleagues managed to get her a bed at the hospice attached to the hospital.  It was just a short walk away down a maze of corridors and through a set of double doors.  When we got to the other side of those doors, it was like stepping into another world.  'A heaven on earth' would be one very good way of describing it.

Thank you so much for reading this, and for sharing you inspired thoughts.

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

Such a perfect, heartfelt rant, Tina. 

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Bee.  Heartfelt it surely was.  

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Oh! Tina,

your words were so moving for me, they could have been spoken by my dad. He was grateful to the hospice for their help, but he was at a point where there was absolutely nothing to live for and the pain was so bad, he couldn't take it any longer. I remember him writing me a note as he'd had his tongue removed due to cancer and couldn't speak. He said that under no circumstances did he want to die in the hospice, but wished to be at home, we granted his wish and the nurses helped me look after him, taking shifts. 

Sorry I can feel myself welling up, so I need to stop. But you've spoken the words my dad would have agreed with entirely and for that I thank you Tina.

Jenny.

PS By the way the hospice nurses were real angels, I don't know where I'd have been without them.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Dear Jenny....and I too, was moved by your words.  

When it comes to end of life care, hospices win, hands down, because they give palliative treatment as a matter of course, whereas hospitals do not.

 It was so lovely that you were able to grant your father his wish of making his final journey from home.

 In my daughter's case, however, she had thought that this was what she wanted, and as you know her 'home' from home at the time was at her sister's.  When the end came though, she was terrified that maybe the pain-relief as offered by the Marie Curie nurses who were looking after her at home would maybe not be as reliable as in the hospice, so she chose to make her final journey from there.

We are all unique, and at the end of our days on earth, have our own differing personal wishes.  One thing though  we do share, is a desire for a peaceful and dignified passing, which should be an inherent right for all of us.

And yes...I'll let you into a little secret, hospice nurses are indeed 'angels come down to live on earth'.  I have it on good authority, but don't tell anyone, will you?smiley

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hear! Hear Tina,

much appreciate your communication.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

smiley Thanks, Jenny.

 

Submitted by loquaciousicity on

As a civiliization, we still have a longway to go with respect to dignity in dying...

A heartrending (though wonderful) work!

Terry 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Yes, Terry, we certainly have.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts, inspired as ever.

Tina