Waiting for the Rain (I.P.)
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By Silver Spun Sand
- 1828 reads
The fresh shorn blades
dig like thorns in her back;
tender from the knife
and a surgeon’s dark news;
home at last from the smells
and sounds of a hospital ward...
the stench of sickness still
tainting her nostrils.
The sun beats down – buries
her face in the new-mown grass
as the scent of jasmine hangs –
heavy in the air. A sudden corridor
of wind; the trees rustle – a glittering,
green cacophony fair deafens her.
Thumbs the pages of a book – shame
it don’t have no happy-ever-afters.
She remembers that first sting
of wet grass on her thighs...his eyes
the colour of thunder; the ‘killy’
call of the kingbird of which it’s said
they live completely in the air...even
die on the wing. But for her, all
that’s left is to stay here till morning...
smoking a bummed cigarette...
waiting for the rain, and praying
for a rainbow.
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Comments
Beautiful Tin! it flows
Beautiful Tin! it flows perfectly, i envy such a clear prose.
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Lovely visual writing, plus
Lovely visual writing, plus description that effects all senses through the imagination.
I love the last stanza with is neat conclusion.
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Beautifully crafted, Tina. I
Beautifully crafted, Tina. I loved the 'glittering green cacophony'. Wonderful use of language in a dark subject.
Linda
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I really liked this Tina.
I really liked this Tina. Each stanza was excellent and then those last two lines were magnificent.
"Waiting for the rain and praying for a rainbow." Brilliant.
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Great poem Tina.Sharp
Great poem Tina.Sharp contrast between the 'stench' and misery of the ward and the lovely freshness of the lawn. And the 'sudden corridor of wind' knitting the two together... Elsie
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