Forget to Remember

Awake from my dreams, awake to the screams.
They never cease.
There is never peace.
There are no silent hymns.
No visible end.
No shoulder to cry on.
No one to rely on.
I close my eyes, but all I see is you.
Too scared to remember what you said you'd do if I speak out of place, step away from my space.
So now I fear my end is near once you find out,
I have no doubt of what you'll say. I
t's not OK.
Too scared to run.
What have I done?
Never believed you would deceive me like you did, I was only a kid. Now it's too late to forget the hate.
I'll never forget what you did then.
Still afraid it will happen again.
You made me swear never to tell.
Said if I did I'll burn in hell.
It has been so many years, yet every night the same old tears.
Now all seems fine, I live alone.
But still can't seem to grab the phone, and tell them everything I know.
What's inside will never show.
It's now so cold. First of December. I won't let myself forget to remember.