Korean-American Psycho 4

"It's quite a place. Why do you have all these pictures of handsome men on the wall? I'm a bit jealous."
"Former boyfriends," she answered.
"Is my picture going to be on the wall also?"
"I don't think so," she cooly lit a cigarette, "Why don't you take a shower?"
"You want me to take a shower?"
"Yes."
"What if I don't?"
"No sex."
"Are Korean girls always this..."
"No. I'm not your typical girl."
"No I guess not. You just seem so cold."
She smiled and looked at him.
"A showered man with a hairy chest is just so sexy," she commented.
"You think so, Sam."
"Look, Derek. Let's not be naive. You just broke up with your girlfriend. You want to see what Korean girls are like. Here's your chance."

Derek went into the shower and washed himself all over. He stepped out and wondered what he was getting himself into.

"Come out. No one is going to bite you."

She was in the bed, waiting for him. He entered the bed. She kissed him and asked him what happened between him and his girlfriend. He responded by saying that she had accused him of being unfaithful to her and that he had denied it. But she was so sure he was fucking someone else that she just went crazy thinking about it. He just couldn't listen to her anymore so he went to the bar and that's when he met her.

"Just the luck of the draw."
"What do you mean?" Derek asked.

She kissed him again and she wanted his body close to hers. She wanted to remember the feeling of actually having loved someone. Old feelings die hard. When she looked into his blue eyes, she almost felt that he was capable of loving and not just possessing and not just feeling that she was worthy of him or something else. Was he all there for her to consume?

"Do you love her?" she asked.
"I'm not quite sure what love is? Is love a surrender to being?" Derek asked.
"You are one crazy kid, trying to figure out what love is."
"Did you love anyone?"
"I loved every single one of those pictures. I imagined that I would live the completely normal American life. I admit, I was greedy. I wanted to be upperclass. After all, I went to Yale. I wanted to have the right kids and the right zipcode. I just didn't imagine that I would be judged like I was. I mean, I was simply meant to be a fling... an experiment for these fine young men until they grew up and married their own kind. My heart broke. What was even more sad was that I had begun to despise South Korea, my home country, as a backward country."
"I'm sorry that that happened to you," Derek kissed her, "You really are a very gorgeous and intelligent woman. I mean that."

"Sorry doesn't explain shit. All this liberal niceness can drive me up a fucking wall," she laughed a good laugh.
"The Korean girls at Yale labelled me the "yellow slut." It's all over now. Would you like some Hennessey cognac?"

She brought some Hennessey over to him. He took a sip.

"It's very good. Didn't your mother want you to marry a Korean so that you could keep the same traditions as her?"
"My mother, my mother. I can't even remember her name anymore. My mother hated Korea because it was chauvinist and because it lacked passion. She loved Beethoven and Chopin and would make me listen to it whenever I was angry or frustrated. My mother, my mother... she was quite a figure. Quite Proud... a remarkable woman with an incredible drive."
"Do you still keep in touch with her?"
"No. Her dreams are not my dreams. I am not as obsessed with class as she is. She really had a formula. Teach youR kids the violin or the piano. Send them to the best schools where they can make the right connections. Make them into a doctor, businessman, or lawyer. Then the bragging rights. We've created another success story, another proof that the Korean method works. It's like a fucking factory."

"It's a success story at least," Derek commented.
"You're right, Derek. It is a success story, but what does one do with the heartbreak and the shame of having being wounded?"
"Plenty of upper-class girls have done the same to me and I'm white. I'm just a fling on their way to conformity."
"You're a sweetheart. Perhaps that's why I chose you."