Lost 3
By Steve
- 727 reads
The thing is I really like Claire. She's fucking hot, at least for a Korean even though she does not have those large boobs that Caucasian or black girls have. Her breasts are just beginning to develop, almost hints of them. She cares for me though for some fuck-forsaken reason. I mean, all I see her as is a piece of meat and I know that's fucking awful. By the way, I'm drinking some of this whiskey, this Irish whiskey, Jameson, and it's good fucking stuff.
"Brian, open the door."
(I must hide the whiskey and perfume my breath with gum and other stuff).
I open the door.
"Yes, Mother."
"Brian, how can you embarrass me like this?"
"Like what?"
"A two week suspension, and you made a racist comment to another boy."
"Look at my fucking eyes? It's that bitch boy who made them this way."
"Only because you made the comment."
"So it's my fucking fault that he sees me as a Korean neuter?"
"What do you mean by that and stop saying the word "fuck" all the time."
"Why?"
I glared at her. I liked glaring at her. It made me feel good. She just doesn't understand what it feels like to be the only Korean boy in this culture. You just want to fit it and belong but society gives you a raw deal and all the pretty girls think you're ugly and you just feel so used somehow. Is that how I feel? Sometimes I have no fucking clue what I'm trying to say
"What's happened to you, Brian?"
"Nothing's happened to me."
"Don't you want to succeed? Don't you want to contribute to society and take that talent that God has given you and make something of yourself."
"NO I DON'T MOTHER!!! and what is it that you want? To mold me into a Korean, you fucking want to work my fucking life off and become a lawyer or a doctor or a businessman, supporting a society that I don't give a shit about and working like a slave to get a nice home, only to get whitewashed and live a nice comfortable life with a nice lawn and a dog and two cars?"
"What right do you have to judge society, you little fuck?"
I could tell that Mother was very angry. To tell you the truth, I did not hate America so much. There were things I loved about America and really I had no idea what America society was like either, but watching all this tv and just thinking about what it might be like and then with all this cable, it way fucking amazing what I could watch. There were a few times when I visited my "American" friends and they were real nice and all, but they'd ask me these stupid fucking questions about Korea:
"So Koreans do eat?"
"Yes, we eat."
"Do Koreans have sex?"
"I think so, you dumb fuck."
"Are there Korean homosexuals?"
"Yes."
"Is Korea a country?"
"Yes."
"What's the difference between Koreans and other Asians?"
"Well, Koreans live in Korea."
"That's such a deep answer."
"Yes."
I mean, the conversations weren't exactly like that, but it's just amazing... isn't it. I think his name was Charles or something. He was always talking about what a great place America was. One day, I asked him:
"Can I fuck your sister?"
"What?"
"I'm just asking, hypothetically?"
"No you cannot. Would you let me make love to your sister?"
"Sure," I said smiling. I did not have a sister.
"You can't be serious and why do you speak so..."
"Speak so what?"
"Rudely."
I was thinking about all the movies. I had seen all the James Bond movies on TNT or something and James Bond fucks girls from all over the world. It's like a great thing, after all He's a British spy who is always saving the world and for his reward, he gets to fuck girls all over the world and they want to fuck him too, but you cannot imagine A Korean or even a black guy with their mythical sexual potency playing that kind of role. I guess it's power that is expressed in these movies. I don't know, but I'm just saying this because I know that Charles, a white guy, gets real defensive about white women, especially his sister but I just wanted to know.
If there was a movie with a Korean guy fucking all these women from all over the world and saving the world and them loving him, would that make white people uncomfortable? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
"BRIAN!"
"What?"
"Have you been listening to anything that I have been saying?"
"No."
At this point. my father entered the room with THE ROD. Big fucking deal. He looked very serious and I could tell he had a few drinks so that HE could go through with the PUNISHMENT.
"Pull down your pants."
I pulled them down and let him spank me hard, but I hardly felt any pain. I was pretty drunk to tell you the truth although I hid it real good. One after the other, almost mathematical, the lashes. I started to draw Claire's face in my imagination, and I drifted into her nostrils:
"Why are you hiding in my nostrils?"
"Nothing else to do."
"Why are you so evil?"
"I don't know."
I could tell that Father was getting kind of tired. You shouldn't work too hard after hard drinking cause you get tired fast.
"Why do you continously embarrass us?" Father asked.
"I don't know, Stranger. I can't even remember your name."
"I am your Father. You don't disrespect me by calling me by your name."
"You mean by "my name." "
"Just throw him into military school."
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I enjoyed his contempt for
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