political correctness 3: steve's theory of dreams

i will digress here on dreams. please excuse my lack of grammatical finesse that i will be travelling with the speed of my thoughts. i am a follower of freud in terms of dreams. i really doubt that jung used universal symbols to analyze dreams. he basically used freud's theory of personal dreams.

now, what is a dream. for the sake of simplicity, i will use joseph campbell's formula. a dream is a private myth. what is a myth. a myth is a way of storytelling that conveys the values and meanings in a society.

a fairytale is a childhood dream that comments on myth. i think this is roland barthes' comment. it's a very witty comment.

usually, before i dream, i turn over thoughts in my mind. what did i leave undone? why did so and so say this to me? what do i need to do tomorrow? for some reason, my mind has turned everything into a text. i used to have such an amazing imagination? i used to dream movies.

i dream. it's an interior drama. my body or my mind cannot figure out something. i dream that i am lying flat on the ground and the moon is bathing me with light. sounds come. it's the moonlight sonata by beethoven.

stop.

the moon is a symbol of borrowed light. i am not living out of my own light, my holy spirit. i am borrowing the light from someone else, my alterego. i have delocalized my ego. i am off key. beethoven's music is on key. i need to be more centered. my ego has been blown to bits. i am denying my feminine, sensitive side and gorging myself with fast-food, popular media, etc. i will become a endlessly hungry person like nebuchadnezzar.

the moon burns an angry red.

i'm afraid of menstruation. i get periods at times. i know it sounds bloody awful, but i sometimes feel like my alter-ego is a 13 year old jewish american princess. i'm so immature for a 42 year old. why do i want to teach at exeter? wasn't i a liberal once? did the liberals treat me so badly? didn't they give me all my education? all that education at the east asian studies at harvard, all that education at the classics department at harvard, those classes i attended at yale, brandeis is the best school. what am i complaining about? liberals made me happy and then sad. they hype you up and they burn you down. are necons going to do the same?

a girl comes and pees on me.

i'm yellow. i'm not white. why do i act so white? have i been whitewashed? why are my kids slapping me silly all the time? are they trying to tell me something? fish. i hate fishing. why do i spend all that time fishing?

i wake up and then go onto a bed and fall asleep.

i'm bored. i want to do something shocking. nothing's shocking. the music of parry farell. everybody is so full of shit.