Into Silence

my face dropped
like water, lost
(no longer possessing any characteristic
of eyes, nose, lips: alone)
not knowing,
dressed in shame
i could not say, no words
like bubbles
only what I could not explain.

I can not say anything to you
after all
you held in a spell,
made me a slave of your desire
not knowing
but i forgive you
what could i do anyway
the curls of the wind
washing my face of memories.

I do not hate you...
for so long I blamed you
for taking my mind and life away,
not being able to go on,
bearing a secret weight
alone by myself...
tear after tear after page after page,
the strange thoughts stretched for years.

Letting go, I was afraid
I would fall apart.
I would completely lose myself
in streams of sorrow.
It wasn't that way at all.