Take me as I am 4

In the Cab in New York:

That's what he said and I believed him, Mr.-------. I think I wanted to believe him. I desperately needed to believe him. Then, one day, he wouldn't even look at me and I KNEW. I KNEW. I felt like I was standing in front of a cliff, looking at the waves crashing against the rocks. I snuck into his house and stole $10,000 from him and ran away.

I got a fake passport to America and flew to New York like a migrating bird. As soon as I arrived, I stayed at the most expensive hotel I could find. Soon, all the money disappeared along with my dreams.

Now, look at me. Tears falling from my face. Tears... who was I then? I prayed for days and days for God to give me direction and for this MAN to be punished for deserting me and ALL THE LIES he filled me with. I wanted to kill him for making me into a fool. Why did I believe him? Where were his promises? After days and days, I became so hungry that I could not sleep at night and winter was cold and heartless in New York. 

Now, look at me. I just pretend to be what rich men want me to be. But that pure-hearted, trusting girl who still lives in me, inhabiting my soul. Is this what I was meant to be? Not just one, but two?

I keep on thinking that I could have done something differently, but this is life. IT only presents you with two roads and one must choose the road one must go on. Is this what life was meant to be for me? I still hate that man with a passion, but I must forgive so that I can go on and he no longer has this strange hold on me. 

Soo Jin prayed for Mr.-----. For the first time in her life, she prayed for him. She felt like she had aborted the pure, innocent, girl that she used to be when was living in South Korea. She felt relieved. She could forgive because she had the strength to forgive. Why had it taken her so many years to forgive him? 20 years of inner hell, 20 years of wanting to show up in South Korea as a rich, successful, Korean CEO of a fortune 500 company and spitting on his face, having him beg for her mercy. 

Her mind became clear. She went up to her penthouse suite and fell asleep under the watchful eye of the sun.