Highway Part 50
By Storygirl95
- 356 reads
There was no way I could be dreaming again. Right? But as I looked around, I saw myself sitting on a tree branch. Next to me was my brother, nestled in between two large branches. I wasn’t asleep, how could I be dreaming? I was standing next to the base of the tree, but the two figures didn’t react to me anyway.
This is a memory. Nothing else makes sense. Suddenly, my smaller self spoke.
“Jacob is in a better place now, right?” she asked, tears in her eyes.
I looked down to see a small pile of dirt, a tiny piece of cardboard with the name Jacob scrawled on it. Jacob was my hamster, I remembered. My father let him out while we were at school, and he got hit by a car.
“Yes, vee-bee,” he replied softly, taking her hand, “He’s running around on wheels made of gold, eating whatever he likes.”
My younger self smiled, squeezing his hand. She was quiet for a moment.
Then she said, “I’ll miss him. He was my only best friend besides you. Now he’s gone. He didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
He sighed, watching the sunset turn into twilight. He jumped down from the tree, holding out his arms for my younger self to jump into. She did, giggling as he swung her around. He set her down, crouching in front of her. He brushed away a tear, and held her close for a moment.
Then he faced her, saying, “I know it’s hard to understand, Veronica. But the truth is that everything and everyone has to leave eventually. I’m sorry Jacob didn’t get to say bye to you, but it’s alright. Do you know why?”
She shook her head, looking away.
He gently turned her face to him saying, “It’s because it’s never truly goodbye. You are always going to see them again, and so it isn’t a forever farewell. It’s just a time period where you do different things. But even when you’re apart, you still are connected. They are watching over you, as long as you still think of them. Jacob is probably looking at you right now. Even when you’re mad they left, they still care about you. Does that make sense?”
She smiled, giving him another hug.
“Does that mean grandma is watching over us? I think about her lots.”
She said, looking up to him. He nodded, swooping down to pick her up. He put her on his shoulders, making airplane noises.
“Hey,” she called, a look of uncertainty on her face, “Does that mean you’ll have to go away to someday?”
He stopped, pausing. Suddenly, he laughed.
“Yes, my silly vee-bee. I will have to go someday too, but it will be okay when I do. You’ll think about me, and I’ll think about you. I’ll always be there in some way.”
She gave him an awkward hug, wrapping her arms across the top of his head. He laughed, turning away from her hands.
“Yeah, I’ll love you forever!” she said, “And you’ll love me, right? Because it’s never forever!”
He smiled. As they walked away, the vision began to fade. But before it went black, I heard my brother’s reply.
“I like the way you say it, vee-bee,” he responded, “It’s never forever.”
Suddenly I was back on the boulder. The connections came rushing back, and I noticed something different. I could feel my brother in everything. He had been right. I could feel his essence in the soil, the plants, and the animals. He had helped make up all of this, and would continue to. It was never truly goodbye, huh? Didn’t Matt say something similar when he was hurt? Everyone but me had known. This was when I started to feel Matt next to me.
My body twitched on command. Could I move again? Not exactly. I closed my eyes, wondering what was about to happen.
The more I thought about Matt, the more I began to feel his connection. But there was nothing instant, and I wondered what was happening. The cacophonous roar had ceased, and now I could only hear Matt’s gentle breathing. His eyes looked beautiful in the moonlight, watching over me. Suddenly my brain, quiet and calm a few seconds ago, burst into suffering again.
But this was on a new level, and it was all directed towards Matt. It was as if the pieces of me bounced off, unable to connect. A new wave of fresh agony washed across my body. It hurt my head at first, but then my heart, my stomach, and my entire being. Thousands of little sections of me ached painfully, all consumed with the fire that was the attempt at contact. Then, all was inert.
My pain subsided for a moment, and the world was still. Then, like a volcano erupting, my consciousness spilled into Matt’s. I felt everything, down to the smallest molecule. I felt his loss for Johnny, his sadness about his parents, his past life. But then I also felt his love of Julian, his wonderful years on the road, his joy at awakening. I could sense his fears, his sorrows, and his joys. I became him.
I saw myself through his eyes, stirring from what looked like sleep. And then, I felt his love for me. As his heart beat with mine, I could feel the affection there. He thought me to be an amazing person, one that made him happy. It was as if I had possession of a piece of his heart. It was in everything he did. His fond memories, many with me in them. His pride when I lit my first fire, his happiness when I liked Ozzie, his joy when I told him I loved him too.
I could also sense his sad memories. Many were of his past life, but they also had me in them. His sorrow when I cried that night, his sadness at the thought of me leaving, his agony at the thought of me kidnapped. I felt almost invasive, for I wasn’t supposed to be Matt. Then, as suddenly as it came, it went away.
I felt my paralysis lift, and I twitched again. Slowly, I opened my eyes. Matt was still sitting there, now looking at me. I flexed my hand, testing my regained mobility. Finding everything as it should be, I sat up, leaning away from Matt’s knee.
“Veron-” he started to call, but I twirled around.
Launching myself into his arms, I hugged him fiercely.
“Matt, Matt, Matt,” I called, saying his name, “I love you so much. I love you. I love you.”
I kept repeating it, hoping to engrain it in his brain. He held me close, stroking my hair.
“I know. You showed me the same time I showed you. I love you too, baby girl. I love you so much.”
I leaned back, looking up at his face. I laughed, wiping away my tears. Why was I crying? I realized that they were tears of joy.
“I know,” I said back, repeating his words.
So the connection had been mutual. I held onto him for a moment more, rejoicing in the feeling of being alive. I could still feel the animals around me, but not quite as strongly. They were all normal now. If I tried really hard, I could reach out and connect to one of them at a time.
“Wow,” I exclaimed to Matt, not sure what I should say about this moment.
He laughed, slinging an arm around my shoulder.
“It’s really something, isn’t it?” he asked with a mirthful grin, “Did it hurt? Sorry if it did. But wasn’t it worth it? You are finally a full fledged drifter!”
I sat, my mouth slightly agape. That was what had happened? I had finally awakened? The thought only added to my elation. I could only agree that it had been worth it.
“My head still hurts, though,” I complained, rubbing my temples, “Not nearly as bad as before, mind you. Just a headache.”
He smiled, patting me on the shoulder.
“Yeah,” He replied sympathetically, “That’ll be there a day or two. You’re brain just went through quite a lot.”
He gave me a kiss on the forehead, smoothing back my hair. He picked me up bridal style, swinging me around.
“Het, Matt! Watch it!” I scolded him, “If you get hurt again I’m going to hit you!”
He only laughed at my admonishment, saying, “Well I’m glad your sassy persona is still there.”
Was I supposed to have changed? I certainly did feel different. There was a sense of inner peace inside, a calm and tranquil feeling washing over me. Wait! I didn’t feel any pain. Not physical discomfort, but emotional.
Ever since I remembered my brother, a piece of my soul had been shattered, always hurting. It was gone now. It was smooth like the surface of a mirror, no cracks in sight. The awakening had healed me. It only left me with the love I carried, and not the pain. I felt the very fabric of my being become healed, an expert seamstress sewing up all the holes and weaving new threads into the blanket that was my soul.
He set me down next to my sleeping, settling next to me. We talked about the event for a while, and I asked him more questions.
“What happened with you won’t happen to every drifter I meet, right?” I asked, anxious.
I didn’t enjoy the pain that it took to create the connection. He shook his head.
“You’ll be able to understand the emotions of every drifter, but you won’t have any pain during the connection, nor will you go as in depth,” he replied, “We had our depth happen because I was the first drifter to connect to you. The same thing happened with Julian and I.”
How come he gets it twice? No fair! I shoved him, and he exclaimed that I was mean.
“What was that for?” he asked, giving me sad puppy eyes.
“That’s for having it happen to you twice. No fair.”
He laughed, pulling me into a hug again, ruffling my hair. I tried to dodge, but it was too late. When he let go, we sat down again. Suddenly thinking of his anxiety of me leaving and his statement at the hotel, I decided to point out the obvious.
“Hey, Matt,” I called, smirking when he looked to me, “Guess what?”
He looked bewildered, and so I leaned in close.
“Well, I just awakened, and I’m done now,” I said, laughing at his confused face, “And I’m still here! Haha! In your face! You were so wrong!”
He smiled, leaning back while I made fun of him. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t even sit up. Deciding upon causing some mischief, I thought to prank him.
“Actually,” I said slyly, “I think I don’t feel like it anymore. Maybe I should go. See ya, Matt!”
I hopped up, skirting away. I hoped he wouldn’t think I was serious, or there would be a problem. Fortunately, he could tell I was kidding, and I sensed he wasn’t upset.
“Oh no you didn’t, you sly little fox!” He exclaimed loudly, “Nobody can escape me! I’m the super hero, Mighty Matt!”
He chased after me, catching up to me in a few minutes. He roped his arms around my waist, lifting me. I squealed in delight, laughing at his silliness.
“I don’t see a cape. What kind of super hero are you?” I asked playfully, laughing at his sudden self proclaimed title.
He scoffed, saying, “Pssh. Capes are for amateurs. Only real super heroes are always in disguise. Either way, I’m the kind of super hero who saves damsels in distress. Don’t worry, milady, I have it all under control!”
He carried me back to our fire, setting me on my sleeping bag. I gave him another shove, telling him he was an idiot. But I said with only the utmost affection, of course.
After we calmed down, we decided we were both tired and needed to sleep. But as sleep washed over me gently, I thought one last thing.
I was a drifter now, and I would leave part of my old life behind now. But still, I would always remember the people I loved, the place I came from, and the things I learned from. Because if I didn’t forget those things, they would always be there, waiting for me. I would say farewell to them, but it would be okay.
Because after all, it’s never forever.
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