and another thing

Derek, who use to like nothing more than writing racist dribble-rants online, was stopped in his tracks when a critic pointed out that the font he was using to type with was black. Derek switched to white type, but was frustrated that nobody could understand what he was writing. Even he had no idea. In the end he just exploded.

Jackie Humphries found out that someone called Terrence Oblong was writing about her and took the writer to court to prevent him; the writer's lawyers protested that he had only just started the story and should at least be allowed to complete his opening line, the judge found Terrence guilty but concurred with the defence's argument, the result was a very long sentence indeed. 

After many months searching they finally found the elephant in the room. It wasn't global warming, it wasn't the capitalist system, the socialist conspiracy, the liberal conspiracy, nor was it the class system, it turned out to be an inch-square, flat, yellow plastic elephant that had fallen out of a Christmas cracker. 

Terrence was great at starting stories but could never come up with endings. Eventually, he abandoned even attempting to write a story and just wrote amusing snippets instead.