A weekend with Elizabeth River

Me and Elizabeth strolled down the promenade outside Monte Carlo Casino whistling in a joyful fashion.

"Dear Elizabeth, doth you go to the resteraunt?"

"Why are you speaking in poor quality Shakespearean talk?"

"Because I find the ladies find it rather charming, and I find that you find that my brother finds his car keys on a wednesday evenening four weeks before valentine's day rather charming, also."

"Come here, my love" Elizabeth swooned

Mr. Irritating and Mrs. River made passionate love to one another in front of the Casino whilst the sea lapped around their writhing bodies.

"HOLY SHITE!" He roared

"What is it, my love"

"I've just realised...you're a river!

Our time-travelling hero ran from the river outside Monte Carlo as fast as he could, then fell off a bridge.

THE END