Truth

I put my hands against the glass
Staring out at the person shrouded in haze
Mouthing dead words to me
The words fall on deaf ears

Hands rested on my shoulders
Fingers tangled in my hair
I could only smell the cologne
Where have you gone?

I pressed my hands in his hair
Winding my fingers in thick brown
I could feel his breathing against my hair
I wanted him to stay

His fingers brushed my cheek and I stiffened
I turned back to stare at nothing
Maybe it was for the best that he had vanished
Moving on was my only option now

I could hear his voice in my ear
He had to go
The feeling of his hands on my back made me dizzy
I wrapped my arms around him in a vein attempt to have him stay

He was the only thing I had left
The only one that would never hurt me
But he was fading like the others
So I had no choice but to let go

I opened my mouth to say something
When his lips brushed mine
My breathed slowed and my head spun
What did he think he was doing?

He grinned at me, blue eyes a little clouded
I had to step back and examine the situation
I closed my eyes and slid to the floor
I couldn't look at him

Perhaps I'm fooling myself like usual
Maybe I should take a second to breathe
I needed to hold myself together
Because looking at him broke me right in half

I know I could never be with him
The ugly truth of a fantasy
I need to wake up
I need to stop

I have to escape
To leave it all behind
I didn't want to leave him
I knew he didn't want me to go

My eyes widened as I raised my head
I wanted to run as far as possible
They stood there frowning at me
I felt his cold hand on my cheek

I wouldn't go back to you if you begged me
I deserve better
But I'm afraid I'll never be able to reach him
No matter how much I try

This effort is pointless
My hand falls short as I reach out
I turn away from him so he doesn't see the tears
But he brushed them away with his fingers

Again I can't breathe
He does stupid things to me
I can feel the butterflies in my stomach
Could he see them flutter behind my eyes?

A smile flits across his mouth
And I sink further
I wonder if he's aware of the things he does to me
I wonder if I'll ever crawl out of this fantasy