The Three Halves of Martyn Manning: Chapter Seven - Karen - Part Two

Ah,
so she likes it rough, interesting, he thought. But now he had a
problem. It would be a big blow to his masculine ego to have an
unsatisfied partner on his hands. And of course he wanted to come as
well. He thought for a moment. Then he had an idea. It wouldn’t
solve her problem, but he could address that later with his fingers
or tongue, and it might solve his. It was risky but what the hell, if
it came off it would be worth it. He withdrew and lay by her side.
Then into her ear in a low whisper:

 

“So
you don’t want babies and I don’t want to wear a johnny…. have
you ever had anal sex?”

 

Her
initial look of surprise slowly turned to one which indicated
possible interest.

 

“No…”
then hesitantly “but I’ve read about it…”

 

“Do
you want to give it a go? I’ve never done it either, it could be a
disaster, but it might be fun trying…”

 

She
thought for a moment, looking into his eyes.

 

“OK,”
she said, “I’ll try anything once. But you’ve got to promise to
stop as soon as I say so.”

 

“Of
course, promise.”

 

She
turned and lay with her back to him.

 

“How
do you want me? Like this?”

 

“Lean
forward a bit and bring your knees up so your bum is sticking out
towards me. Hang on a minute, we’ll need some lube. Have you got
any?”

 

“I
think there’s some in your bedside drawer.”

 

He
unsheathed his cock then unscrewed the cap of the lube, liberally
coating his finger. What the hell now? He didn’t actually have a
clue, so he began to work his finger down her bum-crack, probing for
the hole. Where the hell was it? Well it certainly wasn’t where he
expected it to be. He decided he must have missed it so withdrew his
finger and started again from the top, taking more care. Christ,
Karen must think he was a naive imbecile who knew nothing about
women’s bodies. Or maybe if he was very lucky she was thinking it
was foreplay. And then with immense relief he found it. Crikey, it
was much much nearer the vagina than he’d ever thought. Very slowly
he began to work his finger inside.

 

“Are
you OK?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Tell
me if you want me to stop.”

 

“OK,
I will.”

 

He
inserted his finger as far as it would go. She was gripping him very
tightly. How the hell was he going to get his cock in there? It must
be possible, he thought, gays do it all the time. He began to work
his finger around, trying to enlarge the opening. It was now or
never. He withdrew his finger and squeezed onto it a pebble of lube
which he applied to Karen. The second pebble he applied to himself.
He grasped both of her hips firmly and presented himself to her. He
had this vague idea that docking might just naturally happen, it
looks easy in porn films, but it soon became clear he was wasting his
time. This way, despite the copious lube, he couldn’t even
penetrate her cheeks, he was nowhere near. He released her hips then
with one hand he pulled at a cheek to give him space and used his
other hand to guide his cock to where it was meant to be. This time
he got in roughly the right place, but he just didn’t have the
space to manoeuvre to brace himself for a firm thrust.

 

“Pull
your both cheeks apart with both hands. And really pull your knees
up.”

 

Now
he had good access. He lodged his glans in place against her entrance
and grasped her hips again. He felt far too big for his port but he
was committed now. Slowly he began to push. Nothing gave. He shifted
position and pushed harder. Still nothing. Talk about threading a
camel through the eye of a needle. And he was pretty certain he
didn’t even have a particularly big cock. This was futile and
humiliating, for both of them. He had to admit defeat. How should he
phrase this? Could he try and turn it into a compliment?

 

“I’m
sorry sweetheart, either your too small for me or I’m too big for
you. I can’t get it in…”

 

“Oh
for fuck’s sake. Just lie back and I’ll give you a blowie. I’m
pretty certain nothing can go wrong there.”

 

She
cleaned his cock with a wet-wipe and took him in her mouth. She was
right, nothing did go wrong. And she really was terrific at blow
jobs. He’d have preferred to have spunked in her fanny but what the
hell, any port in a storm. He came explosively. She worked at him
till she had it all, then raised her head and smiled.

 

“Was
that OK?”

 

Shit,
she must have swallowed. Janet had never swallowed. No partner of his
had ever swallowed. Not that he found it particularly arousing, he’d
never understood why men go on about it, but it made a change, a
novelty.

 

“Karen,
that was fucking amazing. You’re amazing.”

 

He
drew her face to his and they kissed as he caressed her breast. Then
he pulled away.

 

“But
you’re making me feel guilty. I’m having all the fun.”

 

“No
shit Sherlock. It’s my turn now.”

 

He
stroked her cheek.

 

“Well
what do you want me to do? I’m all yours, your wish is my command.”

 

She
jumped out of bed, quite nimbly for a big girl, and went to the chest
of drawers, opening the top one. Martyn admired her tits and arse as
she rummaged around. Eventually she tossed something towards the bed
which landed by Martyn’s face. He found himself looking at a shiny
gold vibrator, about five inches long and an inch wide, just a
slender smooth cylinder with a blunted top. Is that all you’ve got?
Nothing to be scared of there then, he could do much better than
that. He felt quite smug and self-satisfied.

 

“That’s
my ‘petite’. It’s fits nicely in my handbag for emergencies.
This is ‘Big Boy’.”

 

There
was another heavier thud as a second object landed beside him. Oh my
God! That thing’s terrifying! It was clear dark red plastic, shaped
like an erect penis but must have been ten inches long and over two
inches wide. A shiny band of beads encircled the shaft just below the
glans. Martyn remembered a description of a huge cock he’d read in
a seventies’ porn mag. A “Kentucky Slugger”. It seemed
appropriate. How could he compete with that?

 

“What
the fuck! How do you even get that inside you? It’s fucking
enormous.”

 

“It
takes a little preparation, but it’s worth it. Those beads rotate.”

 

“Shit
Karen, you’re not doing a lot to boost my self-confidence.”

 

She
got back into bed and smiled at him.

 

“Where
shall we start?”

 

Martyn
was quickly coming to realise that he was not as sexually experienced
as he’d previously thought. Janet hadn’t even had a vibrator, or
if she did she’d kept it hidden and never told him. Consequently
he’d never used one on a partner before and apart from the obvious
he didn’t really know what to do with it. But after his failure to
ejaculate in the condom and his disastrous attempt at anal he was
loath to admit this fact to Karen. Fingers crossed, maybe the obvious
was all it took. He hoped so, he’d like to watch her come.

 

“Well
let’s start with Petite and work up to Big Boy, don’t you think?
How do you turn it on?”

 

“Oh
I never bother, not with that one. It’s smooth anyway.” She lay
back, opened her legs wide and closed her eyes in anticipation. She
clearly expected Martyn to do his duty. It was payback time.

 

Hesitantly
he introduced the tip of Petite, then after a brief pause began to
gently push. But how far? He didn’t want to hurt her. But then it
was only Petite after all, and even he was bigger than Petite. He
inserted it as far as he could, so just his fingers were holding the
base and he had just enough grip to slowly work it in and out. OK,
maybe he was beginning to get the hang of this, though to his dismay
there were no visible displays of appreciation from Karen. After a
few moments he licked a finger of his free hand and started to work
her clitoris while sucking her nipple, continuing for several
minutes, but still he saw no obvious response from either her face or
body. He began to have the distinct impression that this was going
nowhere. In desperation he moved his mouth between her legs, the tip
of his tongue playing over her precious pearl. His relief was
palpable when she wordlessly pushed away his head and started to
finger herself. He watched as she began to show the first signs of
arousal, but then just as he began to feel he was getting somewhere
she reached down and firmly removed his hand along with the vibrator.

 

“Oh
for God’s sake, I’ll do it.”

 

With
her eyes still closed she reached to the bedside table for Big Boy
and switched it on. Martyn watched in fascination as Big Boy’s head
began to slowly gyrate like the head of a giant blindworm, and the
shiny beads began to rotate to the soft susurration of internal cogs
and wheels. The duvet was fully down now and Karen lay naked on the
bed as first she teased herself with the head, then slowly, gradually
worked Big Boy inside and began to first sigh, then softly moan.
Martyn watched spellbound until suddenly she withdrew Big Boy.

 

“It’s
no good, I’m not in the mood” she muttered, almost to herself.

 

She
pulled up the duvet and wrapped it tight around her, then turned over
with her back to him. He presumed she was going to sleep. He lay
there a few moments wondering what to do, then he got up and blew out
the candles. When he got back into bed he snuggled up behind her,
hand on breast, cock on bum. He kissed her neck, but with no
acknowledgement. Maybe she was already asleep. Maybe she’d be in a
better mood in the morning. At least her body was warm. Two minutes
later Martyn was also asleep.

 

He
slept fitfully and woke in the morning with a slight hangover and a
firm erection. Karen appeared to be still sleeping. He moved towards
her, hoping she’d be pleased to be woken with a kiss and a caress,
but as his hand reached around her waist she stirred.

 

“I
need coffee.”

 

She
stepped out of bed without looking at him.

 

“Do
you want some coffee?”

 

“I’ll
be fine.”

 

“The
bathroom’s facing you as you go out of the bedroom. You can have a
shower if you want.” It sounded like an instruction and was
delivered without enthusiasm. He thought he’d better do as he was
told. Not much chance of morning playtime then.

 

In
the bright morning light he could now see the bathroom was quite
grubby with black mould on some of the grouting. The sprinkler
attachment of the shower head had at some point been broken off and
not replaced, so he showered quickly under a single rope of lukewarm
water. He dried quickly on a damp towel. Amongst the assorted
feminine toiletries he noticed a small plastic bottle marked simply
“Lotion”. He squeezed out a generous palm-full and applied it
liberally to his face. He’d recently read in a men’s magazine
that moisturising was essential to prevent the appearance of ageing
in middle-aged men. Surely she wouldn’t begrudge him this. She
wouldn’t know anyway.

 

He
dressed quickly and went downstairs where he could hear Karen working
in the kitchen. Despite his apprehension he breezed in with a cheery
smile.

 

“Morning!
How’s it going?”

 

She
looked up from her cereals.

 

“What
the fuck have you got on your face?”

 

Martyn
was confused.

 

“What’s
wrong with my face?”

 

“It’s
got all crusty white skank all over it. What the fuck is it?”

 

“I
used some of your moisturiser. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d mind.”

 

“Which
moisturiser? That’s not moisturiser.”

 

“It
was in a little bottle that said ‘Lotion’ so I assumed it was
moisturiser. Isn’t it moisturiser?”

 

“No
it’s not fucking moisturiser Martyn, it’s the cream I use to
shave my fanny and it’s expensive and it’s all I’ve got!”

 

“Well
what am I supposed to think? Why’s it in a bottle saying ‘Lotion’?”

 

“Because
my friend gave it to me for last night’s date you dickhead!”

 

“Oh
Christ, I’m sorry. You’re right, I am a dickhead.”

 

It
was time for a tactical retreat.

 

“Listen,
thanks for last night. Sorry it didn’t go quite according to plan,
but I enjoyed myself. Let’s try again another time?”

 

“Yeah
maybe.”

 

He
leaned forward to peck her on the cheek. It was like kissing a
gravestone.

 

He
pulled in at the first lay-by and studied his face in the car mirror.
Oh my God, he could see exactly why Karen had called him a dickhead.
The thick white crust was beginning to crack now and he looked an
extra in an ultra-low budget zombie flick.

 

He
stopped at the next motorway services and ran into the toilets with
his head down to wash his face.