The Three Halves of Martyn Manning--Chapter Three: The Short Goodbye

The warm Aga and the subdued under-shelf lighting made the Old Rectory’s kitchen a cosy, relaxing place on a dark winter’s night. Martin always found the 10 o’clock radio news soothing and loved to listen to it in the rocking chair while nursing a large neat scotch. The kids were asleep, Caroline the nanny was in her room, and he could hear Janet packing for her early-morning departure to New York. He knew she would sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight so as not to disturb him when she left. He was secretly quite proud of his high-flying wife. It was a shame she had to travel so much on business, but she was seldom away more than a week and Caroline coped superbly with the kids. He briefly remembered that Caroline was going to university at the end of the summer and he’d have to find a replacement, but being half way down the whisky tumbler he decided to tackle the problem another day.

The weather forecast was just starting when he heard Janet coming downstairs. She came into the kitchen.

“How’s it going Dad?”

Dad and Mum were their pet names for each other. He called Janet “Mum” more than she called Martin “Dad”, and sometimes she asked him not to call her it in public because she found it embarrassing. But this was in private and between consenting adults. He thought it odd that she was still wearing her business suit and full make-up, and she looked a little on edge, although this only accentuated her elfin beauty. After twelve years of marriage he still found her very sexually attractive, but while intimacy and familiarity had not exactly bred contempt he certainly lacked an understanding of how attractive she was to other men.

“Oh I’m OK. I’m tired. Let’s go up in a minute. Are you all packed?”

“That’s what I want to talk to you about Martin. We need to have a chat about this trip.” She sat down at the long pine refectory table, at the farthest end from Martin and the rocking chair.

“What do mean darling, is there a problem?”

Janet started to finger the strap of her gold Jeanne Roulet watch as she often did when she was nervous. Like many a hard-nosed business-bitch who puts on a negotiation mask of steel for a meeting she could be surprisingly vulnerable in a one-on-one.

“Well it’s not exactly a problem. In fact in many ways it’s very positive.”

“Go on” said Martin.

“Well the spec’s changed. I thought it was going to be a week’s trip but now they’ve changed it all.”

“How do you mean?” said Martin. He had no idea which way this conversation was going.

“You see, it’s not a trip anymore, it’s a new job. They need someone to take over the marketing position full-time. It’s a huge promotion. I’ll get a penthouse, loads more money, a maid, a chauffer and a car. It’s a big career step.” Her natural inclination in a tough situation was to fall back on her looks and sensuality to get out of it, and she considered it for a second. But this was her husband for God’s sake. Ashamed of herself, she returned to honesty. “The thing is, I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’ll get back when I can of course, but it’s a demanding 24/7 job, I just don’t know how it’s all going to pan out.”

“What the hell are you talking about Janet? What about me and the kids? When are we going to see you again?”

“Martin, I told you I’ll get back when I can. And Caroline always…”

“Caroline! What the fuck are you talking about Caroline? Caroline’s off to Uni in September! What am I supposed to do then?”

“Martin” said Janet soothingly, “you can get another nanny. I’ll send you money. My pay-rise alone could pay for three new nannies. It’s not a problem.”

“I can’t believe what you’re saying Jan!”

“Look Martin, I’ve got to go to bed, I’ve got to be up at half-past three. I’ll call you tomorrow night when I’m in New York and we can have a long chat.”

Martin said nothing. Janet stood up without looking at Martin and went upstairs. Martin had stopped smoking four years ago but he always kept a tin of Hamlets for the occasional emergency. He lit one and poured another large whisky. He heard Janet go into each of the children’s rooms in turn. She seemed to spend much longer than she would normally need to kiss them goodnight. Eventually he heard her open and then close the door of the Blue Room, and then after a few more minutes of selves sliding and wardrobe doors opening he heard no more.

Martin sat in the rocking chair till midnight, but the rocking chair stayed motionless as the radio played softly and unheard. He smoked two more hamlets but he didn’t drink any more whisky. He wondered if he’d just been talking about the end of his marriage, and if so, what it might mean for the future of himself and the kids. And he thought about how instantly the fragile web of a family’s life could fall apart when one thread is taken away. And he thought about how he loved his family life, the four of them always there for each other, and how he didn’t want that to change, and how he still, even now, loved Janet. Then he turned out the kitchen lights and slowly and deliberately climbed the stairs to their bedroom. He went straight to the bottom of Janet’s wardrobe and pulled out an 18th century deed box which had been handed down through Janet’s family for generations. The deed box contained a number of hidden compartments. In one of these compartments Janet kept a plain gold band which had been her grandmother’s wedding ring. It was Janet’s most treasured possession. The ring had been in the secret compartment for nearly twenty years, but it wasn't there any more.