Five Months In Hell

No one ever wanted to talk about this. No one ever wanted to dare
know the sacrifice that so few made for so many. Its been about 24
years now since it happened, and I think at last, its time to talk
about it.

There is no more Soviet Union today. But at the time the
Iranians took the hostages, the US and the Soviet Union could have
become easily embroiled in a world war if the US did to Iran what Iran
deserved to have done to it.

Until that point, the US Navy had been a fair weather
Navy. We never had deployed US warships in that region during the
extremly hot summer months. The Iranians were well aware of this, but
they didn't figure that one lone US warship would have the nerve to
face down the entire Iranian military all by itself.

We did our part, but in my view deciding not to invade
Iran was a blunder on Washington's part. Of course, I can see the
concern they most likely had about a reaction from the former Soviet
Union, but I would have taken that risk if I were President, and I'm
sure they were postive that Ronald Regan would not hesitate to invade
when he took over for Jimmy Carter. In fact, just a few days before
Regan took over the hostages were released.

Unlike Regan, I would have still launched an invasion of
Iran even with the hostages being freed. It would have been unpopular,
but it would have been the right thing to do and we wouldn't have to
worry about those maniacs getting nuclear weapons today.
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I suspect that Iran will be invaded soon after election
day unless the government is toppled internaly before then. This will
happen regardless of who wins the election. Radical governments can not
be tolerated anymore. The world has changed after 911 and those that
haven't yet noticed better wake up in a hurry.

When the Iranians first took the hostages, I had no idea
what the media may have been reporting on TV. I was over there, sitting
right off the coast of Iran through the whole thing. I doubt if the TV
news talked about it, but five of my fellow shipmates became certified
as insane during that time. Before I joined the Navy, I had worked on
Wall Street, so most likely I had already been insane proof. In fact
Jerry Seinfeld had been pouring me beer eight classes at a time at the
local Brew'N Burger. So, how much more insane could things be
anyway?

The pressure was enormous, and those poor souls just
couldn't handle it. The main culprit was sleep deprivation. After going
months and months with so little sleep some people just snaped. Sleep
deprivation coupled with a blazing heat that we never before
experienced was a hardship that I hope no one ever has to endure.
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As fate would have it, we just happened to have the most
advanced weapon of the time. In case it still may be classified, lets
just say we could have easily sent the Ayotolah, a not so friendly
gretting. The chance of war with Iran was especialy hard for me to
conceive.

It didn't hate the Iranians, in fact I liked them. I ran
across many Iranians that were being trained by the US Navy when the
Shaw was still in power. The ones that I knew were very friendly and
they cherised American values. They were mild manered and very
friendly. It disturbed me to think what happened to their country. Its
just my opinion of course, but I think the Iranians that I knew will
someday take their country back from the tryants that hate.
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I don't really think that anyone really ever knew the real
story of what went on behind the scenes when the hostages were taken.
But I think that now America deserves to hear the true story from
someone that was there at the time.

It was plain and simple. When the Iranians took the Americans hostage,
there was no ready made plan for such a contingency. Virtually all our
planning revolved around how to win a war with the former Soviet
Union.

I can even recall the CNO coming aboard my US Navy ship
back in the 70's and stating that it would take about 28 minutes to
destroy the entire Soviet Navy if war were to occur.

Knowing that both countries had balastic missles, talk
like that scared the Hell out of me. It didn't take a rocket scientist
to figure out that there would not be any world left to win if both
countries launched all their missles.

With our entire focus on the former Soviet Union at the
time, little military pip squeak countries like Iran were not even
considered as far as being any kind of a threat to our national
security. So, when the Iranians first took the hostages, we had no
ready plan to react.

At the time the hostages were taken, our deployment was
just about over. Everyone was exhausted and looking forward to going
home. We had recently gone through three very bad typhons.
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Even the last few Ports we were in were not exactly fun
Ports. We had been to Deigo Garcia where the only two females on the
entire island were the English Governors wife and their pet duck.
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Before that we had pulled into Somalia against the advice
of the CIA warning us how dangerous it was there. Because it was a
Muslim country, no drinking was allowed and they were having a war with
Ethopia at the time.

But they had kicked the Russians out because the Russians,
who had been giving weapons to both countries in the past sided with
Ethopia in the dispute.

I suppose we may have been interested in taking over the
Russian Navy base there. Obviously other people also had reasons to be
there. I didn't know it at the time, but at one point in Somalia, I and
my shipmates were on a bus that was parked accross the street from
where Bin Laden and his wife were standing with their Camels.
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Like I say, none of us knew who he was then, but the cold
chill in his eyes and his wifes eyes sent chills up my spine even in
the 130 degree heat.

The bus was there waiting several minutes for clearance to
go to the Russian base, but I noted that neither Bin Laden nor his wife
even so much as blinked the entire time. It were as if they were
stone.

We didn't know what to expect in Somalia. The Russians had
been there for a long time. We even went so far as to tell everyone
that we would blow the ships horn for everyone to come back if anything
went wrong.

The heat was unreal there. It was 130 degrees in the
shade. The natives warned us not to swim in the water. They said that
19 of them had recently been devoured by sharks. But the water was our
only escape from the heat.

The guys from the Midwest were really getting done in by
the heat. Because there is no natural salt in any fruits or vegetables
grown in the Midwest, they have almost no resistance to intense heat.
After we left that fun Port than Mother Nature played havoc with
us.

Numerous under water earth quakes had been occuring
resulting in pop up islands that were not on our charts. This caused
some very complicated navigational problems. To make matters worst we
were in waters that we weren't accustomed to being in.
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Two countries had been jointly developing missle
technology that they were testing in a remote part of the ocean. We did
things to make our ship look like a fishing trawler so they didn't know
we were there. The irony was that a fishing trawler would never be
fishing in a spot like that anyway.

I'm sure both countries knew who we were, but we always
had to make everything a game. We even had to sink all our trash deep
down just in case they tried to identify who we were by the sort of
trash we threw overboard.

We were really all sick and tired of playing 007, but just
when we thought we were going home, we had to rush out to the Persian
Gulf. The Iranians had taken the hostages and we were the only game in
town.

We were completly cut off from our supply lines. Soon
after, we completly ran out of cigarattes. My shipmates were breaking
into the life boats to retrive stale cigarattes that were placed there
about three years before.

When we ran out of chemicals to run the evaporators to
de-salinate the salt water into fresh, we had to take showers on the
flight deck whenever we found a rain squal. Then, the toilet paper went
along with the candy and chips.

The entire crew was under a tremendous strain. Shipmates
were starting to do strange things that they wouldn't do under normal
circumstances. The Captain became quite upset when he noticed one of my
shipmates sun bathing stark naked outside his State Room.
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People were tired and they started making mistakes. I
wrote constant comedy scripts and long love letters to my favorite
sweetheart to keep my mind occupied. Just as I was finishing page 68 of
a love letter, I was the only one to notice that a shipmate had fallen
overboard. Everyone else had fallen sound asleep.

As my shpmate was falling overboard I was just ending my
love letter with the words I've always ended it with everything you do
seduces me.

At the time, I got quite a kick out of writing long love
letters. I had realized that the post office in that country had been
making copies of everything I wrote and passing it all around the
country.

I was subtle of course, but I was making comical
statements and little hints about how much better that counrty would be
without its dictator. Soon after my 100th letter, there was a
revolution that deposed the dictator and restored democracy. Of course
I can't take credit for the revolution, but I enjoy thinking that I may
have given the revolution a little push with my love letters. Anyway,
it kept me sane for all those months, but then again, I may have
already been crazy to begin with.

Anway we got my ship mate back thanks to that long love
letter. I was the only one awake that day because I was determined to
finish writing that letter. That day I saved a shipmate and soon after
my vigilance perhaps may have even saved planet earth.
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When a Russian sub came to close we almost fired. If we
had fired that may have set off a series of events that could have
destroyed planet earth.

Before joining the Navy I had a job where everything had
to be exactly percise. So when everyone else yelled that the Russian
sub was over the line, I knew they were wrong.

Yes, the Russian sub was for sure playing chicken and
cutting it very close, but I was sure that they were still within the
allowed bounds.

At last the Russian sub turned away. But if I had listened
to calls to fire, then I fear, there would be no more planet earth
today. No one was happier to see the Cold War end than I. When you
experience first hand just what sort of devastation can occur by an
error in judgement, it makes you realize that no one should have
weapons like this any where. Its just too dangerous.

Soon after the earth was saved we ran completly out of
fuel, and while anchored, I experienced first hand how the oil industry
is destroying the echo system.

There was a major oil spill. It was so sad to see the very
proud Albertros's landing on the ship and asking for our help. Under
normal circumstances an Albertros will never land on a ship and never
make human contact. But humans caused the problem and only humans could
remedy the problem as well.

It was heart breaking to see the proud birds all covered
in oil. Oh, how I cursed our SUV's when I saw that sight of the poor
oil soaked birds for weeks on end.

We did the best we could and cleaned off as many birds as
we could, but they kept coming and coming. My only regret is that I
didn't have a Cam Corder to document what happened.

We were stuck out there for five months until an entire
Armada came to relief us. We were there alone for so long, but then the
sea was black with US Warships.

The CNO came aboard and stated that we now had four times
the fire power of the entire Pacific Fleet during the last World War
sitting of the coast of Iran.

For sure, we weren't playing with these people, but our
job was over and we just wanted to go home. We had payed a heavy price
for safeguarding the hostages. Five shipmates had gone insane over that
five months.

We had been at sea for so long that we got strange orders
from Washington. They told us to all wear street clothes on board for
three days just to get acclimated to a normal life again.
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Then for the first time in history Jimmy Carter ordered
that Heneiken beer be airlifted to us so we could drink it on board.
Unlike other Navies such as Canada and Australia, the US had never
before allowed drinking on board.

So, this was a very unusual gesture for a US President to
make. At last we hit a Port. We were the first War Ship ever to pull
into a Club Med.

When I first walked on to the island I had to sit down for
a minute to adjust my sea legs. I was so used to the rocking of the
ship, I felt as if the island should be rocking.

While I sat there adjusting my sea legs back into land
legs a beautiful woman walked over to my table and presented me with a
vintage bottle of wine on behalf of her country.

I figured she most likely thought I was an Admiral or
something, but she was very beautiful, so I played along. After we
finished the bottle of vintage, wine she asked if I would join her in a
Mid Night swim on the beach.

I told her I didn't bring a bathing suite.
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She smiled, looking at me as if I were an exquisite
chocolate and said. "Neither did I."

She then took my hand in hers and said. The Moon is
beautiful tonight.

I said. "If I'm dreaming all this please don't wake me.
Its been a while since I've been in heaven.

She asked. "Will you be my Angel tonight?"
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I said. "Why not?"

Then she said."You will be in heaven tonight."
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We had quite a party in her island hut. We both fell sound
asleep after a while. When we woke we realized that we had slept right
through a tropical storm. When we walked out of the hut we found that
every hut around ours was totaly devestated. How our hut was spared is
a mystery I have never figured out.

We made it home despite Jean Dixon making a prediction that we would
never make it back. We defied all odds and accomplished something that
may have given the world a second or even a third chance.
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Had we not have been there, the hostages may have perished
and we just might of decided to make Iran dissapear as a consequence.
But the worst for all parties was avoided. Since that day my views on
many things have changed. In fact I'm now turned on like mad if I'm
going with a babe that's really into politics and deep thinking in
general. Because now, I always ask why. But how much longer can we keep
pushing our luck? I wonder.