Cats & dogs .............. but "Meow" CATS rule!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the moment we have two dogs and two cats. My Husband Paul like dogs, cats, in fact any animal! Me, I like ‘good’ cats, in my ideal world it would be a cat that went out at night and came inside in the morning, had their breakfast and went to sleep! That thought reminds me of a friend I once knew, when we were both single and she said, “I want the man I marry, when in bed, to lie down, go to sleep and don’t move!” She was 100% serious, yet I had to laugh, I couldn’t help it, I replied, “That sounds like you would want a shop window dummy!” We lost touch, but I would love to know if she found her perfect man.
One of Paul’s favourite sayings is, “I’ve never been without a dog, all my life,” so he is a dog person and I am not. We have been married many years now and have had lots of cats and dogs in our marriage. When our son Darius was four months old we had six dogs and six cats! We can’t resist puppies or kittens, they look SO cute! One of those dogs was Ellie a Bichons Frises, she looked like a cute poodle. One summer we took all six dogs to our local park and although she was the smallest, she would be the one to always bark first when she saw another dog, as if she was saying, “Don’t even think of starting trouble, or you will have me and my mates to deal with too” yet on her own, she was a chicken! One day, another Summer time as we were all walking along the canal, she fell in and didn’t even put up a fight, all I could think of was, “That’s £500 quid down the drain, as Paul scooped her up, safe.
I remember once, Paul had taken one of the dogs out for a walk, and it only happened once, in unison they, as one voice stood on the back door step and howled! Usually they are not buddies but this day they had one thing in common, they wanted their beloved Paul! I wish I had a phone with a camera back then; it would have been a fab hit on YouTube now.
Paul and I have always done voice over’s for our animals, so we talk and pretend it’s them talking. We wanted a cat and we went to the Dog’s home and bought one but then in the same cage was her sister, Paul said, “We can’t leave her on her own” so we bought them both, their names were, “Daddies Little Girl and Jade. Then we had another cat and we called him Jarvis, soon a woman for college that Paul attended, said she was moving away, and wanted to know if we would like her cat. When he arrived he was ‘Posh’ and black he didn’t want anything to do with the others, the ‘common’ moggies would run for their dinners but not the posh, smooth, black haired cat! We didn’t know what to call him at first, then Paul lift up his tail and saw him bum and said, “We will call him, Spot!” When we both finish laughing, it was agreed that our newest family member would be called Spot. He would have been horrified if he knew how, his name had come about, but it had given us a good chuckle and when visitors asked us, “But why is he called Spot, if he is jet black, Paul would do the honours.... and giggles would spread over the room once more.
So eventually we had six cats. One day, Paul caught two of them having sex, so a shot gun wedding was quickly arranged! It wouldn’t do under our roof! A doll was hastily defrocked, and put onto the blushing Bride, the very reluctant Groom was put at her side, it would appear he didn’t want to own up to his responsibilities, but he had been caught red handed! Paul did a solemn ceremony as I held them side by side. Then the photos were taken of the happy event! We laughed until we cried.
One day Spot went missing and didn’t return home.... Paul feared the worst, but I was convinced he would come back home, then on my Birthday while I was at work Paul rang me and said, “Guess who is here” well I couldn’t guess, he told me Spot had returned! Before, he was sleek and slim now is was skin and bone! We didn’t know where he had been the six weeks he’d been away but now he was different, when it was meal times he was first to the kitchen, it was like, “Every man for himself” now. I was making Paul’s sandwich for work, one morning and a slice of tomato fell onto the floor, Spot was there in a shot and ate it! That would have been unthinkable before.
Alice Band, lived five doors from us, she had no kids but two huge cats, she was frightened, that they would be knocked over and killed so they spent the whole of their lives inside her house! We asked her if our cats ever went inside her house, she informed us, “No” and she did let us know she fed them chicken every day. So it was no surprise, when both of her cats eventually died all six of our (ungrateful) cats moved into to Ms Band’s house! She still called them the names we had given them and updated us on their welfare. Cats are not daft, they know when they are onto a good thing. One year when they were firmly established as living at Alice’s house on her Christmas card I wrote, “Happy Christmas to, Spot, Daddies Little Girl, Jade, Jarvis, Jarvis Junior (his Son) Daisy and Alice” putting her at the bottom of the list! I showed Paul before I put it through her door, again we had a good laugh but Alice, the dear old lady didn’t say anything, and we are sure she saw the funny side.
Then there was the ‘strict’ dog called Spider, he is a Lurcher he became like the ‘father’ of all the dogs, so even when we had the baby pup Caleb, Spider would put him in his place until he became huge! One day, Paul put one of his Mum’s silk scarf onto Spiders head and tied it under his chin, he look so sour faced, it creased us up, of course pictures were taken! For us to have our enjoyment all over again and again. When Caleb was an adult we did the same to him, he looked SO cool with his sun glasses and beret. One of my favourite pictures is of tiny Ellie sitting on huge German Shepherd Caleb, as he laid flat out on the kitchen floor when he lift his head to think of moving, miss bossy boots growled, so he laid back down!
It all came to a head, when Barrie next door neighbour was trying to sell his house, all six dogs were outside and he bought the people who were viewing the garden, the viewing lady, with her fingers in her ears shouted, “It sounds like a dog pound” indeed it did! I don’t think a dog pound sounded that bad! Hence he didn’t sell it then, and he said to Paul, “Get rid of them or I take you to court,! I agreed with Barrie, six was far too many, so some were sold to good homes. In due course they died off and now we have two cats and two dogs. A new generation ....
I like you, have a routine, one of them was to mop the kitchen floor first thing in the mornings but, I try not to let them bully me .... but Cats rule! These two moggies we have now, come first before I do anything else, in the morning. Sometimes when I come down in the morning, and I realize that Paul had put them outside before he came to bed, then I grab the opportunity and give the kitchen floor a good sweep and a clean, and it looks fab, but not for long... but if either cat is in over night, I can forget that! It’s “meow,meow, meow, meow, meow, MEOW...” I know that to me, “Hurry Woman, we’re dying” and because we have a cat ‘killer’ dog in the house, the cats have to come inside the house through the window. The other dog is great and the cats know this.
The female cat we have at the moment, was heavily, pregnant a few months back, when we had the snow, she escaped out the window, as she hadn’t been out for a week, because we didn’t want the kittens born outside. Outside of the window is a four inch wall that they walk onto, to got into another part of the garden where the dogs can’t reach them, well heavily pregnant Lace, thought everything was the same , when she escaped out of the window when Bob decided to go out. I called after her, “Lace” but my words fell on deaf ears! She was on the four inch wall, then ‘gravity’ happened and she realized,
her goose was about to be cooked; she froze and came to a standstill on the wall. I rushed out the back door to her aid, and as I picked her up off the snowy covered wall she yell, “MEOW!!!!” which meant, “DON’T DROP ME!!!!!” The scene was SO funny and her telling me to be careful with her... she didn’t try to escape again, she knew where her bread was buttered!
Other times she has come onto our bed her feet pounding, onto mine to "Get up now and get my breakfast" Paul has had her in bed on his face, purring loudly!
Bob does not like fish! Whoever heard of a cat not liking fish! So while he leaves his sprats, salmon, etc that I get at give away prices at the end of the day from our local supermarket , including pate, slice Haslet, and ‘tons’ of Polish meats, not forgetting the chicken livers .... all for around 29p or less many a time! They eat like Kings and Queens! Lace, she loves fish, and meat and milk!
They say that Chimps, Orangutans, Monkeys etc. are close to us humans, but living with our pets I see SO many human traits! We actually have an autistic dog, but she was damaged before we had her, by her original owners, and lots of T.L.C from Paul has helped her so she has come on in leaps and bounds! She misses nothing! She never takes her eyes off you. The other dog that we have now snores loudly! All our pets yawn and get tired and all love a good sleep, love their meals, love to play and get sad and upset, and just like us they can be ...sick...
I hope you have enjoyed my reminiscing of Life in our home.