Christ mas Is Cancelled.

Christ mas is Cancelled.
Last Christ mas like the Christmases before was expensive. I usually buy my gifts when I got paid in December, the two that needed to be post before then, were already bought and on their way one to the other part of the UK and the other abroad. 
Last year I had it all planned out, my Christ mas list was already written and the majority of the gifts would be bought from my favourite shop TKMaxx I don’t have a second favourite shop, just this one. I’d already decided everyone would have perfume, the Men would have their version and the Women would have theirs. I then planned to wrap them all on the same day and do what we call in our home, the rounds. The rounds I have done since our kids were toddlers and has happened every single year, some people we only see once a year, when the rounds is done. Everyone is told on what day we will arrive and I ask them what time is best for them, and I try to either go to their home first or last or we arrange another house where I can drop of their gifts and where they will leave their gifts for us. Usually we go in for a chat and mince pies and stay for about ten to thirty minutes at a time and I usually stay at the last house for an hour or more. Its always fantastic for them and for me and the kids Daniel and Megan. Hubby Paul stays at home, that’s how he likes it, he gets some peace.
Usually I don’t buy and wrap and do the rounds on the same day, for that’s a lot of work! Usually I  do it on three different days, buy them, then the following day wrap them all, then the  day after that, the rounds, but it all depends on when I get paid, for nothing can be bought before then, as there is nothing in the bank, plain and simple.
So, pay day, that day that would be a challenge for me, I went to Town with my list, bags and was there early. It didn’t matter how long it took, each gift item would be added next to the persons name, so each gift would be bought specifically for that person, and the price of the item would also reflect this too.
At the perfume section, the two tables was rammed full, as I was standing there, one of the bottled perfume fell onto the floor! I said to the woman standing nearby, “I’m not having that one!” She replied, “Me neither.” I detected an accent and asked, “Where are you from?” she said, “France,” I said, “I love your accent,” she said, “I thought I would lose it after living in England for so long,” I asked, “How long have you lived here?” She replied, “Twenty years.” I told her again that, “I love your  accent,” she thanked me and eventually left the perfume table to look at other things. 
I had stayed with the perfumes and had a good look at every thing, there was SO much to see and the prices varied a lot from as little as eight pounds to over one hundred! If I could get the majority in the ten pounds price range, then I’d be laughing! I’d have had a good day and probably saved money, but that’s not real life, for some of my family and friends would spend more than ten pounds on me alone and more than that on Daniel and Megan, so my dilemma started, nothing is ever simple! For I didn’t want it to be unbalanced, them giving me gifts more in value and me feeling ashamed and embarrassed. But this too is still unbalanced for some of my close friends in the past have given me money and the kids had money too and my brothers always give me amazing gifts for us all! But I would take my time and do my best to choose each gift with love.
There were famous brands and some that were not famous but some of them unknown to me was more expensive! Would the person getting the unknown brand, would they appreciate that it was expensive? So some items chosen would be crossed off and another added in its place. It wasn’t easy.
In my shopping trolley, slowly gifts were been added, then that French lady came back to the table where I’d not left! She said, “You still here?” I replied, “Yes there are important decisions to be made!” I showed her what I’d chosen already, in my trolley and picking up one of them she said, “Don’t have this one, it translate in English as the gates of hell!” I couldn’t thank her enough. I’d decided after looking at a lot of perfumes and the prices, that my top price to pay would be twenty five pounds and this was one of them, so back on the table it went. She asked if she could look at my others items that was in my trolley and was more than happy for any advice I could get, I wanted her French expertise. Some she thought was worth the money but some she said was better value and a stronger smell, lasting a longer time when sprayed, she would pick up the same brand and explain to me, “This scent would last longer.” I asked her name, she said in a wonderful accent, “My name is Adele,” I replied, “What a beautiful name,” I told her, “My name is Janet.” She showed me the small item she had picked up, it cost around two pounds, and it was sweet.
Three hours after I gone into to TKMaxx, Adele came over to me again, she said, “You still here?” I replied, “Yes and you too,” we both smiled, it was then she asked if we could swop phone numbers and keep in touch, it seemed to me at first a strange, request, but It felt more than a natural thing to do, she wanted my address too, there I did draw the line! I mean she could be a serial killer! I’d only known her three hours, I am very protective about my personal details! I then told her I was going to the till soon, she couldn’t believe the amount of perfumed gifts in my trolley, she now had three small items in her hand!
Before I went to the till, I found a quiet corner and took each item out and made sure I had the right perfume, for the right person, for the right price, then with a fast beating heart I went to the till! I’d already added them all up, but it was still a shock when she said the total was four hundred and fifty pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Still in shock from that and in a daze I went next door to the shop called Next and  bought two vouchers for my young niece and nephew, as I’d already asked my brother what he would like for his kids (before his kids came along, he always bought my kids whatever I asked him, he would ask what I wanted and he always gave it, be it a game or money from a particular shop.) I went home and armed with my expensive goodies I started to wrap them all. I’d spent longer in TKMaxx than I’d planned and hoped to gain ground by wrapping quickly, but that didn’t happen either. So leaving the house behind in my schedule, I filled up with petrol and made my way to the first house which was twelve miles away! I had received phone calls before I left, asking if I was still dropping by, I was so behind there was no time for mince pies and chat! It was drop off, collect gifts and go! It was the first time it was like this in living memory. Megan had come with me, usually both kids were with me, but Daniel had other things to do. Never mind, the following day I had to myself at home relaxing.
That was last year. This year when the banks reopened on January third I had a text to say I had gone over my over draft! I was weeks away from pay day! I actually didn’t know what to do, then I had a mini brain wave, I know one of my brothers had money so I rang him up and asked him if I could borrow some I mentioned an amount and to my pleasant surprise he said, ”Yes.” I went and collected it the next day and promised him I’d pay him back when I got paid. If I’d not done that, we wouldn’t have survived the month.
Some of the gifts I’d received were very unbalanced in proportion to what I’d spent on them, and some were very disappointing! This got me thinking, my older nieces and nephews had never in their adult or young life given me a gift for my birthday or Christ mas, my brother has always given us fantastic gifts but some of the perfumes I’d bought last year  for them, I could have done without all that hassle and extra expense this year.
Both my kids were working, last year and this year and I decided to ask them for board, they both said, “No!” This infuriated me and Paul too, mini arguments went backwards and forwards, with both Paul and myself explaining we both had to pay board, when we lived at home we didn’t have a choice! They said, “We can’t afford it, it’s our money not yours!” I tried to reason with them but nothing we said made a difference. I decided to take drastic action! I wrote on four A4 papers, explaining why I was cancelling Christ mas this year and forever! I told them when we were altogether I’d have a meeting (this was unprecedented) for us to have a meeting! No one knew what I was going to say, I’d reassured Paul it was, “OK, nothing for him to worry about.” My notes were safe then about a month later Megan said, “We’re all here, lets have the meeting,” I went and got my notes.
As it’s four pages I won’t into great detail here, but I mentioned money has been tight this year, like it was in parts of last year and the years before that. There were good months and lean months, that we had a mortgage to pay and heating, lights, food, water, Council Tax, car, phones, broadband, just to mention a few. I’d told them more than likely the house would be theirs after we are gone! That we were doing everything for them! I told them I’d asked them for a small amount, and that both had refused to pay board, so I have decided to cancel Christ mas! I would tell everyone on my Christ mas list not to buy us anything, as it was too dear as I’d be buying nothing this year. I told the kids, I would tell all in June giving them plenty of time for those who like to buy in advance! I’d told the kids and Paul beforehand, not to interrupt, that there would be time for them to ask questions at the end.  
Megan burst our crying! Daniel said, “I don’t care,” I replied, “Why should I spend my money on Christ mas gifts, fill my car up with petrol, stress myself out for you?’ ‘When you don’t give two hoots about me?!” I didn’t feel one bit like a bad Mother! I’d had enough! There was nothing they could do, before they had the upper hand, but now I did. I asked Paul what he thought, he replied, “Over the years, whenever I came into the room when you were wrapping gifts and I’d see all that money on the bed with the gifts before you wrapped then, I would be worried that we wouldn’t have enough to last us, so I think it’s a good thing.” I was pleased to hear that, that I had his support.
Over the next few weeks before I told all that I wouldn’t be doing Christ mas gifts this year whenever I met a family member or friend in person I’d tell them, not going into detail about the kids not paying board but just said because Christ mas was too expensive, one friend said, “I agree with you, for there is a young family member who clearly takes me for granted and almost demands I buy her a good gift for Christ mas, yet she has never bought me anything!” I told her, “I too have Nieces and Nephews who has never bought me a gift in their lives and they were adults (apart from the two toddlers mentioned earlier,) why should I spend my money on them?!”
Towards the end of June I sat down with my usual Christ mas list and I texted everyone the same text, some had already heard it from me, and simply replied, “OK,” only one person texted me back to say she was sad and still wanted to give gifts, but I made it clear to her, ”It would not be happening this year and maybe not next year either.” 
There have been a lot of changes in our home, in the four page note that I read to the kids and Paul I told the kids from now on they do their own washing that I’d show them how to use the machine, before it was Paul or myself did their washing, I would no longer cook them any breakfast I often used to do a variation of a Full English, like bacon sandwich, or bacon and eggs or bacon with beans or sausage with all the above or sausage sandwiches. All that would cease with immediate effect! They would run their own bath! I would not wake them in the mornings and no pack lunches would be made! They can do their own! Megan really rebelled, she was late getting up, I think she did it on purpose and she refused to make herself a sandwich, for at first I did buy them ham, cheese and prepared salad for them to do their own, but both chose not to do it, saying, “We have no time in the morning,” I told them, “Make them at night,” but they didn’t so eventually I didn’t bother buying them items for sandwiches. Next I stopped buying cereals, they really missed that, I only bought oats as Paul really likes that. Paul does their washing, if they bring their clothes down, but nine times out of ten they won’t bring them down, until they realize there is nothing left for them to wear!
Now if I was rich, everything would be OK, I wouldn’t ask for board. I also said to the kids in my four page note, “We will still have a Christ mas meal together like we always have.                                    
I have thought of all the money I will save this year, and it felt like a huge weight have been lifted off my shoulders. Wished I’d thought of it last year! But I’ve learnt something about Life, “You can’t know something, before you know it,” that’s quoting me.                 
Happy Christ mas 2017A.D.