Coprophagia.

My Husband loves dogs! He is 100% a dog lover! I would never say to him, “it's me or the dog,” for fear of his reply!!! He told me he has always had dogs in his life. When I met him he had two dogs. And by the time our son Daniel was 4 months old we had six dogs and six cats! In general they all got on...

My favourite dog out of the many we have had over the years since we have been married was Jeff! He was the perfect dog. If he were human he'd have been a gentleman. He was very obedient , gentle, good with strangers and kids. He was clean in the house, wasn't frightened, or over excited, he was a well balanced dog. He lived to an old age and after a short illness he died at home. That was very sad. But by then Paul had already had another dog...... now I'm not keen on dogs, don't get me wrong I like to see them on TV and on the street, looking smart and well groomed and in pictures but living with them is a different matter all together!

So, before Jeff passed away, we already had a young girl dog called Maise, as someone who isn't keen on dogs she was the most difficult dog we ever had! Poor Maise had a bad start in life the person that had her before us was cruel to her, if only she could tell us what happened, but she can't, we bought her when she was about five months old, and boy was she a wreak! She was very nervous of strangers even a little child, she didn't like any fast movements, she was a little barker! But most of all what she did was something of all our dogs had never ever done and that was to eat her own poo!!!! So at first we gave her lots of food, it made no difference, she ate her meals SO fast it never touched the sides and poor chilled and laid back Jeff, he now had an highly strung dog who wanted his dinner too. No longer could he eat his meal in peace and tranquillity, those days were gone forever. So they had to be separated at meal times.

So Maise would turn her body so she could eat her poo as soon as it came out of her, she clearly didn't want Jeff to have it! Its the most disgusting thing to watch! Then that wasn't enough for her, she started eating Jeff's too, and she couldn't even wait for it to fall to the ground, she would eat it as it was coming out of his bum! So I quickly sprung into action! I googled to see what I should do and it said if you feed the dog pineapples, then when it comes out it will be bitter and repulsive to the dog to I got tins of pineapples and gave both dogs, they loved them and wolfed it down, and I waited.... nothing had changed she still ate both poo's.

I decided to take stronger measures and bought lots of salt, when I saw that she had done a poo I ran out into the back garden and covered the poo with lots of salt! But the nasty mutt would simply paw it out from all of that salt, and eat it, I'd probably just seasoned it for her. So next I bought white pepper for on net it said it is fine and would make them sneeze, Masie did the same thing as the salt, she pawed out out gently and ate it. Then I tried washing up liquid, she is a only dog after all, I can't be beaten, she can't win. That didn't stop her, I tried, disinfectant, no not that either ….. I was at a loss, the vet wasn't very helpful he said, “Give both dogs pineapples” how silly does that sound!!! I turned my attention to eBay and researched it on there, I asked lots of questions and told the person who was a professional in great detail how determined she is to eat both poos and was informed the tablets would help. So the expensive tablets was bought and given to her (I to him too I can't quite remember now) that didn't do anything, the poo eating continued so I rang the company up who told me to double the tablets, for a week, mega expensive! I realized tablets was not doing anything, so I didn't buy any more.

If the poo was extra runny, Maise would lap it up, like she was licking up cream!

Then my Husband decided to have one of the doctored, so we asked the vet which dog we should have done, and the greedy vet said the girl dog! Well he would, wouldn't he as she was more money for him, lining his pockets! There are two groups of people I'm not keen on and that's greedy Vets and greedy taxis drivers! So all of a sudden she is incontinent! I rang him up and said before she had her womb out she was clean in the house in her bed and now she is peeing all the time! He said some girl dogs when they have their womb out this is what happenes, I said can it be fixed he said no, but there is medicine I can buy from him that cost £500 a year, but, “It does not work” hence we didn't bother. I really, REALLY despised that vet for ruining a ruined dog! For not only did she eat her poo and Jeff's but now she did a wee every single day in our house! Our lovely home now smelt of her and she smelt too. Dog lovers cant smell, a smelly dog. So now I hated her for eating her poo and Jeff's poo and doing a wee every day in the house and most of all for Paul to not let her stay outside and provide nice warm shelter for her out there but we argued and argued and he always won, she was always in the house. I hated her SO much it was unfair to me and to her.

You may have heard a person say of another, "They're full of S*it" Well she is! And when she breaks wind, you know it, or burp! Sometimes, we didn't know why, if a poo was particularly tasty, she would pick it up gently and place it on the back door step and eat it there! Or just leave it for later....

When she did go outside she barked none stop! At nothing! So she ate poo, barked, gobbled her food down like it was going to be taken from her and would pee many times a day – inside the house. I hoped she would die young, but Paul said she would live to be about ten or more!!

Then after a few years, Paul had another dog from the same cruel dog breeder and he was the most stubborn dog we ever had! He is the only dog that I have not been able to do paw with! Paw is, dog giving me their paw, and I give them a treat for doing so. The dogs know they can run rings around Paul and they know they can't with me! I don't stand for any nonsense. I fear I have mellowed though as I have got older... for because this last dog is hard work, I have started to 'like' Maise! How scary is that! Now I even save her bits of meat off my plate and give it to her …. but not the last dog, who isn't even worthy of a name on this page! But even he too has 'won' me over for yesterday, it was a first, I gave him a little treat too, some choice meat I'd saved.

But they both WON for they both eat each other's poo! I gave up! I just couldn't be bothered any more, they not hurting me, if it makes them happy and it clearly does! I just turn away and let them get on with it. I asked Paul if he would wash Maise today as she smelt awful, as they are washed outside he (rightly) said it was too cold, so she still smells and the house stinks! That's what its like been married to a dog lover. They eat their own poo (the dog not the dog lover) and smell of wee, they bark and wake the kids and the neighbours... but the main thing is, it make Paul happy! He has his dogs! He loves taking them for lots of walks and he talks with other dog walkers, he does this if he is angry or if he is sad, happy or need to think ….... so I would never say, “its me or the dog,” for fear of his reply.

I have just been reminded of a drawing our Daughter Meghan did when she was very small, I didn't understand it, so I asked her what her drawing was and she said it was “it was Daddy, cleaning up his poo!”