Grace Part fourteen

It was suggested to me by a medical person to try a private doctor, an appointment was booked and we went. It was just a one-off consultation, we had a chat, then he gave me four real glass tubes, they were different sizes, small, medium, large and the size of an average man when his penis is extended. It was hollow, thin glass, the first one was narrow and thin and the second was a bit wider in width, the same with the other two, they were wide and wider. I was told by the private doctor to use lubricant, on the fine glass tubes, starting with the narrowest one, to stoop down and insert it into my vagina, now I don’t know about you, but the thought of putting a thin glass tube up into my vagina filled me with dread! What would happen if it smashed while it was inside me? Or what would happen if it broke while I was trying to force it in? How on earth was I to relax to get this damn thing inside me! On some days, I’d try when I felt optimistic, but nothing would happen, I couldn’t get it in. Then on other days I’d be angry and try but it felt like I was doing some sort of self-harm!

It just didn’t work! And for that short consultation I was charged £70!

I was told my Beverley, “You can take you Uncle to court,” I told her, “It all happened a long time ago,” She replied, “It doesn’t matter,” I said, “I am not going to court,” For by now, I’d been through SO much and I felt fragile in my mind, I told her, “ I wouldn’t be able to cope with court too, for what would be the point of bearing my soul, dragging everything up for him to be then found not guilty, for lack of evidence, or to be given just eighteen months in jail, then to be let out, having served just half his sentence for good behaviour? Beverley, I could see by her facial expression was disappointed.

Then soon after Martyn asked me the same question, “You should take your Uncle to court.” He didn’t know about Beverley, I gave him the same reply I gave her. He said, “Well you should write him a letter to let him know how you feel, how you have not been able to consummate your marriage, because of his abuse,” Paul and I agreed that was a better idea. Martyn also added, “Paul, at the end of Graces letter, you should also add how you feel about him and his sexual abuse on your Wife now – the affects it has had on your marriage.”

Martyn also said to me, “You need to ask your Uncle, these unanswered questions, ‘how old you were when the abuse started?’ And, ‘Has he ever put an object inside your vagina.”   

So, a few days later I sat down and typed my letter to my Uncle, I told him all that I’d gone through since I had got married! I left nothing out! I told him I wanted the £70 back for the consultation! Finally, I said to him, “You will come to my home this week on Friday at 6pm, if you don’t, I will print this letter and send it to one hundred people who know you!” In the Town where he lives, he is VERY well known.  

Paul added his bit at the end. I post it first class, signed for. The next day when the letter arrived at his house, I was later informed by my Mum that when he read it he cried aloud in the house. His children, all adults wanted to know why he was crying, but surprise, surprise he didn’t tell them. Then my Auntie rang me, she said, “Stan will come on the bus he will be there at 6pm outside the college.”

So, would he turn up and face the music? Was I about to face my abuser? This would be the first time in my life, it would be on my terms and my conditions! But even more terrifyingly, he would meet my Husband face to face! I wonder what he was thinking!