Grace Part six.

Life moved on, but sexual abuse was always in the news, I tried to ignore it as it distressed me, but as best as I could, I didn’t read about them anymore in the papers, I couldn’t carry their pain as well as my own and the sexual abuse in the news as you know was and is horrendous!

I eventually met my Husband Paul on a blind date, a lot of young people I have met don’t know what a blind date is, they think its a TV programme, with the same name. I worked with Paul’s best friend and he introduced me to Paul. The eight months that we courted was the happiest eight months of my life! I was happy every single day. Two months after we met we got engaged! I remember we went out for the day and on the coach trip, I whispered, “I’m a ‘V’ he said, “A vegetarian?” I said, “No,” He said jokingly, “A vegan?” I said, “No, a virgin.”

From a very young age it was drilled into us all at our Place Of Worship, that sex before marriage was not allowed, that was one of the major sins that would stop us going to Heaven!  I’d saved myself, and most of my girlfriends too, where I worshiped.  Sometimes when we girls met up we’d fantasize what it would be like been married and wondered what sex would be like and the pain in childbirth, I am a total wuss when it comes to any pain! So, I didn’t know how I would cope!

After two months Paul wanted to propose, and I said to him, “What would you do if we found out everything wasn’t as rosy as we hoped?” For I genuinely didn’t know how I was going to be when I got married. He replied reassuringly, “Everything will be alright.”  I’d always wondered how would I know I have found the right one, I often use to say to friends, “I want to know the man I marry is the right one before I go out with him,” That would start a hot debate, for my friends would say, “That’s impossible you have to go out with him first to find out if he is the right one,” But I just didn’t want to be hurt with the pain for splitting up, I didn’t want various boyfriends.

Time seemed to be rushing by and one by one the girls in our group would slowly get married, they in my view would talk like a married person and forget what it was like to be single, the looking, the longings, the wonderings, where, who, when …… I decided that should I ever get married that I wouldn’t forget what it was like to be single. There were times when the sex drive was SO strong, that I felt I wouldn’t be able to cope and it was only at those times I was grateful that I didn’t have a boyfriend, for it would have been awful if I ‘fell.’  

So, when Paul asked me to marry him, I said, “There is three questions I’d like to ask you first,” The two I will not mention but one of the questions was, “What do you think of adultery?” His answer was perfect, I couldn’t have answered it better myself!  I also said when I got engaged, “I don’t want an engagement ring, for all that is important to me was, that beautiful wedding band.” I have always admired women and men who, wore their ring, I admired it especially when men who wore a ring, for it showed everyone that he belonged to someone special, and that wherever they were in the World it showed they had chosen to tell all, that they belonged to someone, even though that Special Person might not be with them at that time. I always said if I had a Husband that I would like him to wear a wedding band. But believe it or not, everyone asked me when I said, “I am engaged,” as with one voice, “Where is your ring?”  I held out for a week, saying, “I don’t want a ring, I will have a ring when I get married,” But everyone wanted to see my ring! So, we chose a day to go and buy one, on the day, Paul told me how much money he had with him, and we went into many shops, eventually I found the ring! It was a baby version of the ring like Princess Diana. It was £100 more than what Paul had on him, he went to the bank then I bought my lovely ring. Everything was just perfect.

Well almost perfect, my idea of a wedding is different to my Mum’s idea. I wanted for my wedding dress, a simple plain white or cream, cotton or linen dress from Dorothy Perkins was hoping to find one for £20 no sleeves as it was the height of Summer, to my knees with flat white shoes, and a small bunch of loose daffodils held in my arm and hand! Mum was having none of that! She wanted as her only Daughter to have everything proper. So, I looked for a wedding dress, I didn’t want to spend a fortune for me personally it is only for one day, and the ones I looked at was very expensive. Having looked and found nothing I was getting desperate.

I was at university at the time and I told my Lecturer, she told me of a lovely wedding shop in the City. I went there and as I want in, Men’s was downstairs and Women’s upstairs, there was a woman waiting for me at the top of the stairs with a lovely smile, she said, as I climbed the stairs, “Good morning Madam, would you like a traditional, fairy tale, beach……” I wasn’t looking forward to it, and quickly replied, “I’d like the cheapest you have in the shop, as my Mum wants me to have a wedding dress but I wanted a normal dress from Dorothy Perkins.” With a gracious smile she said, “I will see what I can do,” She showed me several dresses, some with various colours on, I told her, “It has to be a dress of cream or white with no other colours on,” She put those back and picked up two other dresses, she said, “Try these on,” The first one I tried on I said, “It’s too big,” She from behind the curtain, from the small room said, “They both will be too big, but that’s not a problem, they will  be fitted to you size.” The first one I tried on I just didn’t like it, so I tried on the second, it was lovely, just lovely, the length was just below my knees, light cream and raw silk.

I came outside of the changing room with the dress on and Sofia worked her magic, she pinned, tucked, folded and suddenly the dress wasn’t just lovely it was perfect! I said, to Sofia, “I love this dress, and looking her in the eyes I said, “How much is it?” Sofia said, “This is my shop, and I’m about to make your day, this dress is worth £500 and with all the alterations I will charge you £125.” I was chuffed to bits and said, “Thank you SO much, you have indeed made my day, and my Mums.” I then chose some shoes, of the same colour and material slightly pointed at the toes with kitten heels. I left floating on air.  I told my Lecturer she too was pleased for me.