Breaking up (it turns out) is not so hard to do...

The first time I saw Harry I don't think I even noticed him. He was sat way over on the other side of the room with all the other boys being a bit of lad, I was sat with the girls having a giggle. I don't think we even spoke for a few weeks. But the moment I noticed him, I mean really looked at him and saw him, I started to change. It wasn't love at first sight by any means. It was very slow. He was handsome. He was a gentleman. He had the cutest smile. He was a bear, but the softest bear you've ever known. Like Winne-The-Pooh but a bit more manly and with a beard. And he could bake! And I found myself thinking about him more and more. But it wasn't love. I just fancied the pants off of him. All dark and bearded and northern, like a young Sean Bean but not so football mad.
He made rehearsals fun for me, to the point where I never wanted to go home. At the time I thought it was everyone, the group camaraderie or whatever you want to call it. But when I got home it was always stories about him I told my flatmates. And I really knew it was him when I found I had no stories to tell the boyfriend. Sure I could get away with one or two, the ones where everyone was involved, but telling every story about the same guy? He was sure to notice. So then I knew it was time.
"I think we need to talk."
He must have noticed the tone in my voice because he actually looked up from his playstation. I took some guilty pleasure from seeing his little man die horribly on the tv.
"We do?"
I nod. Come on, how can you not realise we need to talk? We only see each other when I come to you, we have sex even rarer than that and, oh yeah, by the way I've met this wonderful gorgeous man who's doing A REAL DEGREE! Too harsh? Wow my tone has changed quickly.
"You must have noticed we've drifted away recently. It's just not how it used to be."
There is was, that wounded puppy face. Well that might work on your mother young man but it certainly won't work on me. You can do this, come on girl, don't let him get to you again.
"I'm just not happy any more."
Oh my god he's actually putting the controller down! Miracles do happen. Oh god don't cry don't cry don't cry please don't cry I cannot deal with a crying man right now. Actually I'd rather you shout and yell and tell me to fuck off because I have no idea how to react in this kind of situation. I'm actually less than useless right now. Still no reaction. Fuck.
"I think I want to break up."
Oh fuck, now he's crying. There he goes. Should I go? I think I should go. Just casually pick up my bag and very slowly stand. Quick glance around the room to make sure nothing important is here. PSP on the desk. I can grab that on my way out no problem. Quick hand on arm, gentle squeeze.
"I'm sorry."
And go. Across the room, down the stairs, out the door, into the car and breathe. Phone dings. Perfect timing Harry!
Hey what you up 2? Bunch of us going to SU. Fancy it? X
Hmm how does one reply to this? Brutal honestly I think.
So I just broke up with my boyfriend... See you in about half an hour? X
Put the car in gear and drive. So that was the end of what was in hindsight a pretty shitty relationship. And here I am already thinking about the next guy. Who I'm going to see very soon in a purely social situation. And I don't know what to do. I like this guy, I mean, really like. I can't even remember how to flirt I've been in a relationship that long. But he's a good looking guy, he'll know what to do. The next text should reveal something I hope.
Shit. You ok? X
Ok so not exactly revealing. Bollocks I've read this totally wrong. Maybe I should go back and apologise. No, thats not right either. Just go to the pub,have a drink and don't think about boys. Except in a purely platonic way.
I'll be fine. SU sounds great though. See you there x
Drive to uni. Park car. Check hair, reapply makeup, straighten skirt, deep breath. Attempt to float gracefully into bar. See Harry. Melt a little bit inside. He swoops across the room and envelopes me in a trademark bear hug.
"You ok love?" His voice soft on my cheek.
"Uh huh."
"Come on, I'll buy you a pint." His arm around my shoulder, my arm around his waist, an idiotic and totally inappropriate grin on my face. Here goes...