One Too Many

In between the aches and pains,
His belly starts to grumble.
And somewhere in the black of night,
His hands reach out to fumble.

But he can't eat,
If he can't see.
And if he can't eat,
Life would be a misery.

The seconds turn to minutes,
The minutes to hours.
He'd even be happy,
For a packet of sours.

His arms feel the cold air,
His breath crystallises in the dark.
He doesn't want to move,
The futures bleak, his chances stark.

His eyelids heavy now,
The darkness turns to dreams.
As a yearning for sleep beckons,
This is the end of everything it seams.

He tries to fight it,
The dreams begin to spin.
He wants this night to end,
And a new day to begin.

He reaches out, just one last time,
Finds something soft and squishy.
He brings it to his nose then mouth,
His stomach churns, it's rather fishy.

Then in the darkness turns a shade of green,
He knows he's going to spew.
He hears the sound of laughter,
From someone's voice he knew.

His wife has played a trick on him,
She thinks his state is funny.
She's even drawn upon his face,
And covered him in honey.

She'd placed a fish beside his bed,
Then microwaved a pie.
Then let the smell fill up the room,
She thought it rather sly.

But she didn't bring a bucket,
And she didn't move her dress.
And she couldn't quite moved fast enough,
To deal with added stress.

He covered all her make up,
The carpet on the floor.
He even hit the ceiling,
And projectiles hit the door.

And just before he looses consciousness,
He leaves a lasting mental scar.
As her laughter turned to shrieks and yells,
This time he'd truly gone too far.

But now he simply lays there,
Kicking out some zombie zeds.
Not even knowing that the outcome,
Means tonight they're in separate beds.

He'll maybe wake up feeling awesome,
And insist that he was fine.
But right now the daft sods way too drunk,
He's mixed his beer with wine.