Human Nature

The heat is really getting to me.

She's back again. Why can't she leave me alone for a while? She acts
like I'm here just for her own personal use. It never occurs to her
that I've got feelings? she just swans in pushing all my buttons?
turning me on and then leaving me flat if something more interesting
sparks her notice.

I suppose she has a point. I'm bought and paid for? sold like some
slave for a bargain price. It's not like I had a choice about that you
know? I'd get a job if I could? in a second? if I could. Life doesn't
always work out the way you want it to I guess.

She'll tire of me one day. It's human nature I suppose. I can see the
signs already. She gets angry when I'm slow or unresponsive?. I'm just
tired, if she only knew what it was like for me. Being at her beck and
call, in this heat. She'll decide one day I'm not good enough anymore,
won't like the way I look - trade me in for a younger model, isn't that
what they say? There's no love there. I provide a function, a service,
nothing more.

Does she have to be so rough though? Banging away at me as if that'll
satisfy her needs more quickly. Forcing me to perform for her, getting
impatient when I can't keep up with her desires? and then, just when it
starts to get interesting for me? the phone rings and she's off?
chatting to her friends about shoes. Shoes for Christ's sake.

The heat is getting to her too. She knows I don't perform as quickly in
weather like this? it makes her mad. Sometimes I'm afraid?. She'll
loose it one day. I thought she was going to hit me last night
when?.

That's another thing. All night long? Who has the energy for that? Oh I
know, there are young things out there. It worries me. Every day I
expect her to come back with one of them? a new plaything, all bright
and glistening - dressed up in fancy packaging to catch her eye? not
that it means a damn and she knows it. Money is a cruel and heartless
God. I can see how it would be appealing though? how sexy they must
look? a quick turn on. They'll wear out though just the same?.

It wasn't always like this. She was excited by me once. I had pride of
place? she showed me off to all her friends, extolling my virtues,
forgiving my faults. Seems so long ago now, a distant youth? I didn't
appreciate my time with her? the days when she couldn't wait to touch
me, when I couldn't wait for her to touch me and thought we would be
together for always. I was her loving slave then? but the chains of
bondage wore me down and will break me soon?. not that I'll care?
she'll have disposed of me long before that ugly time.

She's got a new toy today. She wants me to work it for her. It's so
degrading? doesn't she know it'll just tire me out that much faster?
Not that I have much choice. If I refuse, or pretend I don't know how
she'll just get rid of me that much quicker. She owns me and she knows
it. I do what she wants, when she wants and try to please her - all in
a desperate attempt to keep her happy, to keep my place.

But it won't last. Before long I'll be cast away?. useless and alone.
With only the memories of past glories to remind me of what I once
was.

Useful. Wanted. Loved

No computer was ever loved as I was then.