Obsessive-Compulsive

What’s that?

Oh yes,

It’s that tongue in my ear again.

Burrowing down inside

Tickling the nerves that make my heart race

And carving numbers into my grey matter.

Friendly numbers.

Numbers that won’t leave me alone.

 

Two.

Two sockets in every electric outlet.

Two fire hazards.

Two things to unplug before leaving.

What will happen if I don’t?

Nothing, probably.

Probably.

But I don’t like my odds.

 

Four.

Four knobs on the stove.

Each one checked Four times.

That makes Sixteen.

Sixteen checks.

Sixteen gas leaks prevented.

Sixteen times we didn’t get

Incinerated in our sleep.

 

Two times Four is Eight.

Sixteen by Two is Eight.

Eight steps.

Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk.

Not seven.

Not six.

If it doesn’t work out,

Tap your feet until it does.

 

Eight steps.

Eight steps all down the sidewalk.

 

What’s that?

What do I hear behind me on my right?

It’s a car.

This is definitely not a drive-by,

So why is my heart racing?

Why are the hairs on my neck rising like my dog’s hackles in a thunderstorm?

Why are visions of being shot down on the street

Burning so vividly behind my eyes?

 

Speaking of my dog,

Where is he, anyway?

 

Oh, he’s right here.

Most certainly not dead in the road.

I’ve got his leash wrapped around my hand.

Two times wrapped. Always Two.

 

And who’s that walking on the other side?

Don’t make eye contact.

Don’t.

That won’t help my heart rate at all.

 

What are they doing?

Are they chewing gum?

Of course they are.

I can hear it all-the-fucking-way over here.

 

-chew-

                Stop it.

-chew-

                Stop it.

-chew-

                STOP IT.

 

Would it be wrong to smash their face in?

To grab the back of their head

And shatter their skull against my knee

Like a pissed-off golfer bending a club?

 

Yes. It would.

I’ll bite my hand and count instead.

Bite hand.

Count.

 

Two, Four, Eight, Sixteen,

Thirty-Two, Sixty-Four,

One-Hundred-Twenty-Eight,

Two-Hundred-Fifty-Six

 

Bite hand.

Count.

Until it passes.

I wonder when that will be...