Bible Tales

Abishag the shunammite

Abishag the Shunammite

kept old King David warm at night.

Hot water bottles would have done

but Abishag was much more fun.

King Solomon

King Solomon had seven hundred wives

not to mention three hundred concubines

each February, a thousand cards arrived;

all of them addressed, ‘To my Valentine’.

Lot’s family

Our R.E. teacher never taught us

the lurid tale of Lot’s two daughters;

how they were spared the lightning bolt

while poor Lot’s wife was turned to salt.

And all she did was turn and look,

so why was Lot let off the hook?

So many sodomites were slaughtered;

why didn’t God smite Lot’s two daughters?

Jesus preached, “Remember Lot’s Wife

and do not cling too much to life”

and yet, strangely, he too forgot

to mention the daughters of lot.

And so, alas, we’re left to wonder

why God tore two cities asunder

yet blessed Lot’s daughters with two sons

despite what they and dad had done.