My Shakespere Sonnet
By Will Dunlop
Wed, 04 Feb 2009
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1 comments
My lovers hair not glisting in the day,
Her eyes are far from a deep blue sea,
And i never go a day without say,
That her smell aint that of a hunney bee.
In her cheeks roses do not come to light,
Her teeth are crooked and they're all broken,
The way she stands not compliment her height,
She smells like a cigarette still smokin'
She has got a figue not to die for,
Her hair is a tatty tangled mess,
The colour that is like a wild boars,
But there is something i must confess...
That dispite these things, love is what i feel,
At her feet, i shall forever kneel
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Comments
You've really strained your
Permalink Submitted by Mister_Mac on
You've really strained your rhyme scheme here by making some of your lines grammatically incorrect: "And I never go a day without say"? Also, to misspell "cheeks" and "crooked" just seems a little lazy - they're hardly adventurous linguistic choices!
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