Building the Quincunx

Abc Imperium Stories

Part 2 - Building the Quincunx

Tony put his cards on the table.

"I want you to build me a great imperium, but there's one
problem"

"Limited budget!" grunted Baaaaarm, raising a scaly eyebrow.

"Yes" Tony was surprised "How did you guess?"

"Oooh, intuition, I suppose" Baaaarm sighed wearily.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So - what's your budget?"

"I'm not telling you! I know that old trick!"

Baaarm stood slowly, raising himself to his full height of 18 feet, his
combed head scraping the low ceiling of the hall, while the spurred
heels of his cock-like legs screeched across the stone floor. One of
his three-clawed talons slammed into the table, the central claw
digging into the plastiwood, gouging out a deep groove.

"LISTEN!" he emphasised gently "TELL ME YOUR BUDGET AND I'LL BUILD YOU
AN IMPERIUM - OTHERWISE??????sod off!" Baaaaarm sat again with a weary
smile, his chitinous buttocks scraping on the bench.

Tony was petrified, his very soul shivered. 'Shoot' he thought, 'this
guy could eat me'. As if reading Tony's mind, Baaarm's long tongue
flicked out an alarming length, licking across his scaly snout, and
lingering for a moment over the yellowed rows of razor teeth that
festooned his mouth.

'Should I tell him I've only got ten thrillion?' he pondered.

"What?" Baaaaarm asked.

Tony stared at him.

"Ten thrillion WHATs" Baaaaaarm insisted.

'Bugger' thought Tony.

"Erm , ten thrillion Gullions!" Tony gasped as Baaaaarm's sulphurous
breath began to get him down.

"Oh, that's Ok!" Baaaaarm relaxed "I thought you might want to palm off
some Pardots or Skandals."

"Sorry about the breath by the way" Baaaaaaarm added, smiling.

Tony left the temporal axis with relief. He'd got a deal, and
Baaaaaaarm came well-recommended. And the specs were good!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaarm rubbed his claws together. 'Gullions' he chortled.
Tony had not known that the Slubber galaxy had recently collapsed on
itself causing a galaxy-wide shortage of Gullions. 'Well' Baaaaarm
thought, in fairness, 'I'll build him one hell of an Imperium !'

*****************

In the planning stage, Baaaarm had explained to Tony that the
fundamental structure of an imperium was built on a number of elements.
Placing his claw on the table, he pointed out to Tony that the
'threads' would exist around and between the major elements, which he
exemplified with his talons.

"I always like to follow nature" said Baaaaaarm, proudly gazing at his
handsome claw. So I propose a tricunx" He smiled knowingly.

Hestitating, Tony placed his hand on the table. Baaaarm drew back
startled.

"What in Gods' names is that!" he gasped in horror. He could not
believe what he saw. A soft-fleshed lump with five wiggly tentacles
spidering out of it. 'Uuuugh!' and they're all different lengths!' he
noticed with revulsion. His stomach was turning over.

"Five" said Tony. Tony had no real idea what he was talking about, but
knew that five must be better than three. He was puzzled as to why
Baaarm appeared to be writhing, orange sweat running down his scaly
breastplate.

"OK, OK!" Baaaaarm agreed "Now remove that thing!"

Tony had felt he had won better value, but he did not realise that
supporting a quincunx took far more energy than a tricunx. He would
live to rue this deal, but didn't know it at the time!

*****************

"Well there she is!" Baaaarm indicated proudly, waving all three of his
arms in an excessive display of pride. Tony had to agree. Firstly,
because one of the waving arms decided to land on his shoulders and
clutch him, the horny talons digging through his cloak and denting his
Golden epaulettes. Secondly, it was bloody brilliant!

"Bloody brilliant!" he breathed aloud. Baaaaaaarm swelled with pride.
Here was a client! Slipping a crystal flagon from his crotch-pouch, he
proffered it to Tony.

"Let's drink on the deal!" He gazed fondly at Tony, who quailed.
Finally Tony decided he had to take at least a sip, out of
politeness.

"Drop of this never did anyone any harm" were the last words he heard,
before coming round two days later.

He lay, stinking in a pool of his own filth, gazing around at the most
magnificent Imperium he had ever seen. 'Mine all mine!' he mused.

Tony, new Lord of the Imperium and Prime Lord of the Instrumentality,
staggered up, and set to work. He needed to get his new abc Imperium up
and running!

(to be contd.)