Five Go On a Binge

Five Go on a Binge

NOTE: MAY GIVE OFFENCE: This is the world of Empire and British
supremacy, where 'foreign johnnies' and the working class are frowned
upon and women keep their place!

*

Dick, Peter and Bob stood with their bicycles.
"Hurry up Angie!" ordered Dick, in quite a bossy way.

Peter guessed he was jealous, but would never say so. Bob simply
thought 'He's a silly ass'

Angie had lifted Tinny into her bicycle basket, and was saying goodbye
to Helmut, her German pal. His family had moved into the big house and
she had decided to be his friend. Angie was a pleasant girl, who wished
the 'whole world could be friends'. Peter doubted her aspiration could
be achieved but would never tell her. Bob thought she was 'bloody
silly'.

Dick had forbidden Angie to bring Helmut with them. "I bet the fat
little kraut can't even pedal a bike!" He'd said, quite rudely. "Look
chaps - we've had this outing planned for quite a time now, it's just
for us - the 'fabulous five'. We're not having some foreign oik butting
in on our fun! I'm sorry but that's that!" He had stamped his sandal on
the ground hard enough to make his sock fall down, which had frightened
Angie and made her shiver a bit.

Angie bade farewell to her German friend. She promised to take him to
Wandley Cross on the train to see the Belisha beacons tomorrow.

"Ya! Angie, das ist gut!" Helmut's heavy, guttural accent rang round
the pleasant, English town square in a most unpleasant way

"Zo! Sie gehen auf eine Fahrrad-fahrt?"

You could have heard a pin drop. Angie blushed beetroot-red. Dick,
momentarily flabbergasted, dashed forward protectively and faced
Helmut. "D-d-damn you!" Dick was quivering "Damn you, you dirty little
oik! Take your filthy language and go back where you came. We don't
like that sort of talk here! Goddit!" Dick squared up to the smaller
German boy and pushed his chest quite firmly. Helmut looked amazed,
burst into tears and ran back to his house.

Back at the square, the five had hurried away from the accusing stares.
"God, that'll teach us never to trust a foreigner" ventured
Peter.

"Quite right!" Dick barked, raising an approving eyebrow. "Quite right,
young Peter - you're learning!" Peter glowed with pride.

"What a creep!" Bob thought.

Although Angie was a bit upset, she admired Dick for his strength and
purpose. 'He may be a bit fierce' she thought 'but that's what men are
like!" Her head swirled with a new feeling, and she felt weak at the
knees. Shouldering her heavy backpack and plucking up her courage, she
blurted out "Let's go then!"

Dick was momentarily taken aback. Then he smiled. Angie was a plucky
girl "Yes" he said "let's go chaps!"

They set off on their bikes down the lane towards Nethermold.

*

"Time for a break" barked Dick, as they approached a gateway to a
pleasant meadow.

They stopped here often on their rides.

They pushed their bicycles across to a big tree, and settled under
it.

Angie unpacked the first of the parcels inside her backpack. Soon they
were scoffing buns and pop, and Tinny was racing around yapping at the
birds. How they laughed!

As Angie was clearing up, a man approached from the roadway. Peter
spotted him first. He wore tattered clothes and carried a bundle. "I
say chaps, it's a bally tramp!"

Dick was immediately alert. He picked up a broken tree branch and hid
it behind his back. "What do you want?" He demanded.

"Jist summat tae eat" the man spoke gruffly.

"That's begging!" exclaimed Angie "and that is wrong you know!" she
wagged her finger at the man. Her kindly nature meant she was deeply
upset by poor people and therefore resented them.

"Yes" chimed in Peter "why don't you get an honest job and buy your own
food!"

The man leered at them, remarking "right little ladies an' gents,
aren't we? Well, youse better gi' me some food - and any coppers you
got in those prissy pockets o' yours"

"I say!" Peter exclaimed "he's got a funny accent! Are you
Irish?"

Dick was getting a bit angry "Right! That's enough now! Just bally well
go away!"

"Or whit, young surr?" the man turned towards Dick, who stood his
ground bravely. Angie screamed, and the other boys were rooted to the
spot.

Then Tinny darted in and nipped the man's leg. The tramp shouted a foul
word that shocked Angie to the core.

"God!" Dick was livid "in front of a lady, too!" he could contain his
anger no longer. Dick rushed forward as the nasty man was trying to
pull Tinny off his leg, and with a mighty effort, brought the branch
crashing down on the fellow's head.

The five stood around the figure slumped on the grass.

"There's blood coming out of his head!" Bob breathed.

"Oh, he'll be fine! Bit of a headache, but nothing more!" said Dick,
whose father was a Doctor.

"Phew!" Angie breathed a sigh of relief "that's all right then! Come
on, let's go!"

Her bright, cheery tone lifted their mood again, and they set off
happily. Peter thought that Dick had overreacted, but said nothing. Bob
thought 'he's killed the bastard!"

"Right!" Dick shouted "on to Nethermold!"

Happily, the 'fabulous five' cycled off down the lane.

*

Nethermold was a small village, with one high-street shop. The sun was
high, and Dick called for a halt.

"I think we should top up with pop" Dick smiled cheerily.

"Nice choccy bar for me!" Angie exclaimed.

Peter nodded. He did not really need more pop, but didn't like to spoil
the mood. Bob thought he'd rather have a cider.

After the bicycles had been carefully placed out of the way of any
pedestrians, old or blind people, they crossed the high street to the
shop.

"Watch out!" Dick grabbed Angie's arm as a black car sped round the
corner, bell ringing and blue light shining. The car sped back the way
they had come.

"Phew! Those bally chaps nearly did for us!" Peter exclaimed.

Dick looked reproving. "Peter" he spoke carefully "Those are our Police
force. They are crack drivers and we were in no danger! There will be
some very good reason for their haste". He wagged a reproving finger at
Peter, who did not want to disagree openly. 'What a fool' thought
Bob.

Dick still held Angie. Pressed against him, she had closed her eyes.
When she opened them, Dick was looking down at her. "I say, Angie, are
you feeling all right?"

Angie pulled away quickly "Oh, yes Dick, I'm fine - thanks for helping
me!"

Dick looked down at his sandals "Any chap would've done the same" he
said shyly. 'Not me' Peter thought. Bob was wondering if Dick had been
feeling Angie's chest.

The four entered the shop, leaving Tinny outside.

"Ah! Three fine gentlemen and a lovely lady!" the shopkeeper leered.
"And what can I do for you today?"

Dick felt quite angry at the man's remarks and his funny look at Angie
but stayed quiet. "We've had quite a shock!" Peter exclaimed and told
the man about the police car.

"Oh dear!" the shopkeeper's face took on an exaggerated expression of
horror "you poor things, you need something special to set you right!"
He scuttled off into his back room.

"Why did you tell him that?" Dick asked Peter "He'll think we're in a
funk!"

"I was" Peter admitted. Dick just shook his head. Bob thought that Dick
needed a kick in the crotch.

"I don't like that man!" Angie whispered to Dick "I came here on my own
on her own once and he offered me sweeties."

"Don't worry!" Dick stood protectively beside her.

The shopkeeper came back with some dusty bottles and plonked them down
on the counter.

"I say! What's this?" Dick demanded.

"Ah, young Sir!" the shopkeeper rubbed his hands together. "This is
'tonic pop'! Just the thing for a shock"

Dick was suspicious of the man, but they were proper sealed bottles,
and this wasn't some foreign place like Scotland, or the North, so he
said decisively "All right, then, we'll take some!"

"Pick 'em up Angie!" Dick paid the man.

"Let's find somewhere to have the rest of our picnic" Dick called as
they readied their bicycles and Angie packed the bottles into her
backpack.

"How about Billycock Hill?" suggested Peter.

Bob started giggling and Dick looked stern. "I think Smuggler's Cove
would be best"

"Ooh!" Angie jumped up and down and clapped her hands "yes please!"
Peter thought they should have had a proper vote, but decided not to
make an issue of it.

Bob was still giggling. Sometimes Dick thought he wasn't quite a
gentleman.

The boys set off. Angie heaved the pack onto her back and pedalled
furiously after them.

As the 'fabulous five' cycled out of Nethermold, a Police Constable
stepped out in the road, holding up his hand and blowing his whistle.
They stopped carefully, giving appropriate hand signals.

"What is it Constable?" Dick asked firmly.

The Constable's gaze took in the five honest faces. "There's been a bit
of trouble, I'm afraid, Sir, serious trouble" He did not want to
frighten these children by telling them about the murder - they were
obviously not lower class or troublemakers. "Watch out for strangers -
there's a desperate character about!"

Peter started to tell the Constable about the tramp, but Dick
interrupted him told the others to carry on while he spoke to the
officer.

As they rode on, Peter looked back to see Dick talking animatedly to
the Constable, who was nodding and writing in his notepad.

After Dick caught them up again, Peter asked "Why didn't you want me to
talk to him?"

Dick spoke sternly. "I gave him the
information the Police needed and they have everything in hand, young
Peter."

Angie was proud of Dick but Bob laughed in a sarcastic way.

*

The fabulous five soon arrived at Smuggler's Cove. They left their
cycles leaning against a hedge, and walked to the sandy beach below.
Tinny, barking excitedly, ran ahead while Angie followed with the
pack.

There was no-one at the cove. The five spent a happy time splashing in
the sea, then Angie unpacked the picnic.

"Mmm!" Dick exclaimed "fish paste and cucumber sandwiches, lots of buns
and cake. Wizard spread!" Peter and Bob joined in, mumbling "Super!"
and "Smashing!"

"Here's to a perfect example of the modern woman!" Dick expounded,
waving his arm. "Let's have three cheers for Angie!"

The boys cheered, even Tinny jumped high in the air.

Angie was embarrassed but really pleased.
"Let's try that tonic pop!" suggested Peter "I'm thirsty!"

"Yes" Dick nodded "get them for us Angie!"
Angie fetched the bottles from her pack for the boys.

Bob opened the bottle, releasing the fizz from the funny pop. He took a
swig. 'Wow!' he thought - 'it's like cider!'

Dick watched Bob gulp the pop "Go easy there, young Bob, you'll get the
gripe!"
Peter thought Dick was intruding into Bob's quiet pleasure, but saying
nothing, began to drink his own bottle.

Dick drank in a firm, manly manner. Angie watched his Adam's apple
bobbing with a quiet thrill. She sipped her own bottle. "Oh!" she had
never tasted anything like it. It was quite nice!

*

Dick went off with Peter. They were staggering and laughing wildly,
shouting and singing. Angie thought Dick said a rude word as the boys
disappeared behind the rocks.

Angie slipped into a doze. She woke to find Bob lying very close to
her, started to giggle and fell asleep again.

*

Dick and Peter were peeing. Peter looked over "Gosh! That's
very?"

"It's a warm day!" said Dick, grinning hazily.

"Would you mind if I??" asked Peter

"Well" Dick wobbled slightly, "if you want"

*

Dick and Peter reappeared later, looking flustered. They approached Bob
and Angie. Dick thought Bob was a bit too close and felt quite angry
until he saw that Angie was asleep.

"Time to go home!" Dick barked, waking a confused Angie. She started
doing up her vest buttons. Dick thought it wasn't ladylike and stared
down, embarrassed.

*

It had been a long and peculiar day. A cloud hung over the 'fabulous
five' as they cycled wearily into the village square. No-one spoke and
they couldn't meet each other's eyes. Each had a blinding
headache.

"Well" said Dick, "it's been a strange day! I don't think we should go
to that shop in Nethermold ever again!"

"Quite right, Dick!" Angie blurted out "I told you that man was
funny"

Ignoring Angie, Dick continued "Now, nobody say anything about the
tramp, all right?"

They all nodded. Peter thought he really should have told the policeman
about it. Bob decided he would bide his time.

"Now go home, have a good sleep, and it'll all be right in the morning!
We'll go and have ice-cream!"

"Hooray!" The 'fabulous five' cheered, Tinny jumped up and down and
yapped.

"I'll see you home, Angie" Dick said "it's getting a bit late!"

As Dick and Angie passed the Big House, they saw the Police car. Two
policemen held Helmut's father, who was yelling. They flinched at the
guttural sound. The Constable from Nethermold saluted Dick, saying
"thanks, young Sir. We got him!"

"Do you think that was fair, Dick? After all, it was you who?."

Dick interrupted her gently. "Angie, you know it was an accident - my
Dad would be quite cross if he found out. That man is just a bally
foreigner, so it doesn't matter"

Helmut was crying like a girl and his mother was shouting in a very
vulgar manner at the policemen. Angie was disgusted. She thought
'Dick's right! Foreigners aren't really like us at all'.

Gazing up adoringly, Angie agreed "You're right, Dick!"

Secretly she thought 'I'd like him to feel my chest like Bob did, but
I'll probably have to wait until we are married'

And so she did - mostly.

END

? John F Griffiths 2002