Mrs Prothero and the Foxes

Pobl y Estate - Mrs Prothero and the Foxes

1. A Moment in Time

"Get us another drink, cariad. This one's dead!"

Mags looked over at her husband. Ted was a typical Welshman - small,
dark, bandy-legged, prone to a bit of thieving and sheep-worrying when
he could. He'd worked down the mine until the seam rose too high over
his head but now earned a fair living as a stereotype.

"Get it yesself, yer f'in bleeder". Mags was always a lady. She liked
to style herself as a younger, thinner, shriller Nerys Hughes.

Ted winced. Levering his wiry frame out of the leatherette recliner, he
stepped over the cat's tray, the kid's KFC buckets and the empty drink
cans. Reaching the comparative quiet of the kitchen to check his
supplies, he counted the bottles.
"Mags! - can you get another couple crates of this special stuff,
cariad?"
"I'll go and see Lionel tomorrow, but I can't guarantee anything"
Ted shrugged. He could feel Mags simpering from the next room. She
always went stupid when she talked about Lionel. 'Proper gentleman,
like' she used to tell everyone in their tiny town. 'veritable Saint!'
'He saved my marriage!' she would declare. Ted could tell by some of
the old biddies looks that they wondered why Mags thought that a good
thing. 'Why, that's very nice, Mags dear' they would cluck, glancing at
each other in their mothball-smelling gloom. He knew what they were
thinking about - what they were always thinking about. The only reason
he tolerated Mags's admiration for the effeminate Lionel, who she'd met
at a leek-appreciation class, were the crates that regularly arrived at
their door. Fantastic stuff - a bit cloudy - but it hit the spot all
right.
"Empty me a cup of tea while you're there, Ted!" Mags shrilled. Ted
sighed, doing as he was told; watching flocks of gulls rise at least
two streets away, then circle a while before settling again.

He loved this estate. The Nye Bevan estate had been his home all his
life. Ted was proud they'd come up in the world. Coming from the
terraced squalor of Llandrindod Llane, they'd moved up via Builth
Terrace to a fine two-bedroom semi on top of the hill by the waste tip.
'Machynlleth Close' was the zenith of estate perfection and their
house, 'Yr Valrog', was a home from home. Ted felt proud. Gazing out
over the tip and the flocking gulls, he mused at the beauty of nature
and the wonder of this country of his, Wales, or the 'Gwlad
Archipelago' as he privately thought of it.

'What a place! What a place! I love those flockin' gulls!' he mused
poetically, as Welshmen do.

"Where's that effin' tea!"

Ted ran back in, unfortunately tripping over the cat and catapulting
the cup with its warm, wet contents over the 'Cymru am Byth' cushion
that Mags had crafted in anticipation of Welsh Independence day.

*

Later, as night fell over the small town, starless and bible black,
clouds of white seagulls filled the sky for hours until the lights
finally dimmed at 'Yr Valrog', leaving the small wiry man sitting
outside on the step musing poetically, with a circle of bottles around
him.

'Sod it!' he muttered, peering up at Mags's darkened window.

*****

2. Wazz

High on the Aneurin Bevan estate, all was quiet. Only the faint hum of
the tip filled the still afternoon. The flocking gulls hadn't wheeled
all day - Mags was out!

Ted gazed down ruefully at his manhood. He wished it were the same
colour as Mags' womanhood, so that when they went out in the rain, they
would match. The bold, red plastic rainhood mocked him!

"Da" a voice interrupted his reverie. It was 'Wazz' his beautiful
daughter, now in the first flower of her womanhood.

"Raining is it, cariad?" Ted asked.

Wazz took off her flowery hood and shook out her hair. "a bit". She
seemed sad, and abnormally quiet. "Where's Mam?"

Ted got up, "down the town - she bin there all day" he shambled
forward, bandy-legged, to comfort his daughter.

"Oh" Wazz moved away, nervous.

Ted couldn't bear it. "Oh, Wazz, what's wrong, cariad - can you tell
me?"

Wazz, responded to the innocent affection with a flood of tears. "Oh,
Da - I can't tell you, I can't!"

She turned and ran up the stairs to her room, slamming the door.

"My princess!" Ted whispered - what could be wrong ? He'd have to wait
for Mags. Oh the trials of life!

*

"I'm off down the pub!" Ted slammed the front door and made his way
down to the stone steps that cut down to the back of the 'Leek and
Daffodil', his local.

"Sure Da, sure!" came Wazz's plaintive voice from upstairs, unheard by
her father "that's right - go down the pub again like you always
do!"

Wazz fell on her bed, sobbing. How was she going to tell her mother?
Mam was OK some of the time, but when she didn't get the drugs right
she could be a wicked bitch! How could she tell her Ma that despite
trying so hard, she just couldn't get pregnant!

"I'm bloody abnormal!" Wazz wailed. "Every girl on the estate who
hasn't gone to Uni is up the duff." Her face took on a thoughtful look.
'I wonder if Tezza, Bollo, Dai one, Dai two, Dai four, Dai six , Bazza,
Shamazza, Evan, Ieuian, Arwin, Caerfon, Howard, Aled 1 and 2, Dafydd,
Delwyn, Dyfan, Elystan, Ogwen, Padarn, Talfryn, Waldo, Rhodri and Dirk
are all infertile?' she thought. 'Perhaps I should have gone for Dai
three and five?' "Oh, God - what can I do?"

Wazz threw herself down and sobbed. Her flowery womanhood was rolled
into a ball and thrown in the corner.

*

Some hours later, as dusk fell, a figure stumbled up the slope, weighed
down by shopping bags. She turned and yelled: "Sod off, Reverend!" Her
shriek was addressed to a shadowy figure in jeans close behind her.
"You're getting' no more of that!"

As he scuttled off, the flocking gulls rose as one, scattering the blue
evening sky with snowflakes.

"God, lovely!" breathed Mags, trudging along Machynlleth Close to 'Yr
Valrog'

In the upstairs window, a light burned. Downstairs was dark.

"Bet that bastard's down the pub!" Mags guessed.

Wazz had heard Mags' shriek and thought 'here she comes - I'll just
have to tell her - but how?'

*

Mags sat with her daughter.

"You've tried every position?"

"Shit, Mam! Of course I bloody have! Waddya think I am?" Wazz'z nostril
rings tinkled as she shook her head.

"Did you try Big Dai?"

"One, two, four or six?" Wazz asked

Mags threw up her hands "God, that a daughter of mine doesn't know the
difference!"
She thrust her face into Wazz's "Big Dai is the most fertile bloke on
this estate - he has by-blows all over this town and most of the
county. And you" Mags sneered "couldn't even get laid by him!"

Wazz burst into tears. Mags clutched her sobbing daughter to her bosom.
"Never mind, cariad, your Mam will look after you - we'll think of
something!"

Mags cradled her daughter as she gazed out over the hills, dotted with
white seagulls, like snowflakes sprinkled on a green blanket.

*

"OK, I gorrit all sussed!"

Wazz looked up at her Ma in surprise. It had been some weeks since she
had told her Ma about her problem, and everybody had been very nice to
her since. She had caught Dylan smaning a bit, but he was just a boy
- what did he know?

Over the last few weeks, Wazz had been to the doctor's, then the
hospital, then over to Bangor to the big hospital for tests. The
results had shown nothing! She was normal, but unlike every normal girl
of her age living on the estate, she had no children.

For a time there were tantrums. "How can I face all my friends with
their pushchairs - even some of the first years!"

"Simple!" Mags grinned - you're going to Uni!

*

They finally got Wazz into Borth Media Studies College. It took a lot
of lying and cheating, but she gained her place, and her parents were
proud of her.

Wazz now had a new status.

In the town, she would come across some of her old classmates.

"See you avan't gorra kid yet then, eh?"

A question that a few short weeks ago would have made Wazz cringe and
scuttle for the nearest Milk Bar, now gave her a chance to smile.

"Well, Dilys (or whoever it was each time) I ain't got no time for that
stuff, because I'm goin' to Uni!" Wazz smiled.

"Oh God!" the inevitable reply came "Oh Wazz, well I din't mean
anything by that, you know. I'm your friend, of course --- well done!
Do you get to be one of them 'students' then?"

Wazz would explain, and stroll on nonchalantly, ready for the next pram
and the next schoolmate to be totally gobsmacked.

"Totally gobsmacked they were, Mam, totally! You're great!"

Mags basked in the warm glow of Wazz's gratitude. Only today Wazz's old
school had phoned up and asked her to come in next term to give a talk
to the older girls. "She's the only one of our girls ever to get to
college" gabbled the Headmistress of St Onan's, "the only one". There
was a silence. "Ever!".

Ah well, thought Mags. She was disappointed that Wazz had not had
children like a normal 16-yr old, but she supposed College was a sort
of second-best that she could live with.

Mags relaxed, and gazed over at Ted who was sleeping. "He's not a bad
man" she thought fondly "not really!"

Ted stirred and woke up, started scratching and swearing and Mags sadly
remembered that he was.

*****

3. Dylan

Dylan was a strange but likeable boy. Or at least that's what he told
himself as he looked in the mirror, practicing his cheeky grin.

He often practiced his cheeky grin.

Today he thought he'd try it out at full strength for the first time.
Extra pocket money? More luck with Ma, provided she was in a good
mood.

Dylan thought he was strange, because people reacted strangely to him.
As he cheekily and cheerily made his way through the town, people
looked at him funny. Girls backed away from him - even his mates gave
him funny looks.

'I guess they're just cowed by my awesome personality!' thought
Dylan.

He turned back to the mirror, twisting his face into a cheeky
grin.

*

Mags was humming, washing the dishes at the kitchen sink. Ted sat in
the front room, watching TV.

"Hi, Mam!"

Mags turned. She froze, nearly dropping the plate she held.

"Christ, boy, what's wrong?"

Dylan gazed at her. Slowly his face relaxed, and Mags felt
better.

"Nothing, Mam, why?"

Mags decided it was wind or something, and shrugged - but she still
felt a bit spooky with Dylan standing there.

"Go and watch the football with your Da, Dylan! You'll like
that!"

Mags felt bad - she knew she loved her son, but there was just
something about him. She was pleased when he scampered into the other
room.

Ted was riveted to the TV. "Sit down and shurrup, boy!" he commanded.
Then -"Goal!" he cried out, bouncing up and down on the sofa. After a
while, he turned to Dylan.

'Now's my chance!' thought Dylan, turning on his smile.

"What the??" Ted jumped up, staring at Dylan.

"You bloody little shit!" he shouted, swiping a fist round Dylan's
head and slamming him against the sofa back. "You effin' little
bastard!" Ted began to lay into him with his fists, pummelling him as
Dylan tried desperately to cover his head with his arms, crying and
protesting.

Mags, hearing the din, burst in. "Ted, Ted, you bastard, gerroff him,
he's just a boy - what's he done?" Mags was a strong woman, and she
pulled Ted off easily, flinging him into the corner, then cradling
Dylan in protective arms.

"What'you do boy? What'you do?

"I dunno mam! I was just smilin' at Da!"

"Smilin'? Evil little git!" Ted got up and circled gingerly round Mags
and Dylan, heading for the door. As he left, his parting shot came "I'm
off out - that little git better be out of my sight when I come back, I
tell you!"

"Ah! Gerrout!" Mags screamed as the door slammed "and good
riddance!"

Ted made his way through the clouds of screaming gulls and darted down
the steps.

"Now what's all this about smilin', cariad?" asked Mags gently.

*

Later, up in his room, Dylan 'unpracticed' his 'cheeky grin'.

'So that was it' Dylan thought. 'I'll be OK now!'

He looked thoughtfully into the mirror. Perhaps he would stop putting
those pills in Wazz's Dr Pepper every day. He'd stolen them off Ma -
she didn't need them!

'Or perhaps', thought Dylan, looking over at the blanket which
separated his bed from Wazz's, 'I won't!'

*****

4. Nan Prothero

"Diolch yn fawr, cariad!"

'He sounds cheerful!' thought Mags - 'probably the crate that arrived
this morning' she thought ruefully.

Ted burst in "cariad!" he cried "guess what?"

"The boozer's givin' free beer?" Mags knew all too well what excited
Ted.

"No!" Ted grinned - "but nearly as good - old Nan Prothero's
died!"

"Oh, my god!" Mags dropped the cup she was polishing on her pinny. "Oh
no!"

"Oh, Yesssssss!" Ted shouted, punching the air "oh definitely and
finally!"

"and you? You ?.?"

Ted nodded.

Mags buried her face in her hands and a shrill wail started, first
softly, and the higher in pitch, until the flocking gulls were wheeling
and crying all around the dumbfound town.

'Like snowflakes, like bloody snowflakes!' mused the Reverend
Parry-Tomas as he loitered across Machynlleth Close at the top of the
steps under a tree, keeping his eye on 'Yr Valrog'.

*

"Give me some of that!" Mags grabbed a bottle of the yellow, cloudy
liquid from her husband and slugged a long draft.

"Careful, cariad! That's strong stuff" Ted cautioned - eyeing the level
of the remaining liquid carefully.

"God, that's good stuff!"

She was calmer now, and sat back in the chair to stare at Ted.

"So we gotta do it?"

Ted nodded.

"Oh my god!" Mags sobbed quietly.

*

Nan Prothero was an eccentric woman, always had been. She could be seen
around the town, always in the same long coat, winter or summer, rain
or shine, always carrying her 'Peacock's' shopping bags. She was
rumoured to be 'well-off' - though what that meant in terms of this
town was anybody's guess. Since the mine and the slate-fettling works
closed, anyone with a job was described as 'well-off'.

When Ted was a youth, he'd rescued Nan Prothero's cat from a mine shaft
(or so he said - many said there'd been mewing sounds from his Da's
shed for several days before he triumphantly ran into town with the cat
in his arms). Nan was delighted, calling him 'my little Teddy'. People
were amazed! No one had ever heard Nan speak kindly to anyone before,
and certainly not to a no-good boy like Ted Owen (who'd already got
that poor Mags Pryce up the duff if the rumours were true).

Nan took to inviting Ted into her house, giving him tea. Ted,
uncharacteristically, would never speak about Nan's house, but later
after they'd had to marry, he told Mags about their chats. Mags could
hardly believe it!

Ted told her that Nan had always been afraid of dying - 'not the dying
part' he explained 'just the preparation for the funeral bit'. Ted hung
his head 'so I promised to bury her'. After a while, as the flocking
seagulls settled once more around their two up, one down in Llandrindod
Llane, Ted was able to explain:

"Look, Nan is afraid that they'll muck her about - put her in room with
some man or other, stick a page three picture inside her, you know, so
she asked me if I'd keep an eye on her and organise things when the
time came" Mags shook her head.

Ted continued "and she said she'd leave me everything, cariad,
everything! - I've always dreamed of one of those big semis up on
Machynlleth Close - you know - by the tip!"

"You're a fool, Ted Owen! A real fool! Here's me sittin' here , ready
to drop a sprog at any moment, no food in the house, that seam at work
getting' higher every day - those elevated boots just won't last for
long, Ted - and you sit there and talk about a big house on Machynlleth
Close. You're just a dreamer, Ted Owen - A foolish stupid
dreamer!"

Ted's face crumpled, and Mags drew him to her. "But I love you!" She
whispered "you stupid, foolish dreamer, you!"

*

And yet, they had made it to the big house on the hill without Nan
Prothero - through hard work, diligence, honesty and a huge win on the
bingo. And now this had come back to haunt them! Nan Prothero
dead!

"I got 'er outside on the cart" chirped Ted.

Gulls flocked ten streets away, like giant snowflakes going the wrong
way.

*

Together, they got Nan off the cart. It was difficult - she was never a
small woman,
Nan Prothero.

"What the hell is this made of?" asked Mags, pulling at something that
looked like a coffin but wasn't.

"Oh it's er?." Started Ted

"It's bloody cardboard! You effin' cheapskate!"

"Shush Mags, you'll wake the whole estate!"

As gulls fluttered lazily down, like snowflakes in a summer sky, Ted
and Mags tugged at the box. It was difficult; the box started to bend
and fold, and at one point Nan Prothero's arm popped from under the lid
and gave Mags a hell of a fright.

"Is she embalmed?" hissed Mags. "It's a warm night!"

Ted drew himself up to his full height. "Of course!" he said proudly,
I'm no cheapskate - she got the lot, make-up, fluid and Daily Mirrors".
"I wouldn't let them use the 'Sun'" he added respectfully.

"Watch it!" Mags warned. Ted had let go of his side of the box, which
now rolled sideways off the cart. Nan Prothero, dressed in white, silk
dress, slid out of the box like an autumn leaf, sliding down into the
gutter. Her pale face shone in the moonlight. Her eyes were splodges of
green, and her mouth was painted with a smear of crimson. Two red
patches daubed her cheeks like a rag doll's.

"Ted! Who did this?"

"Well" Ted looked shifty "Well, it was a bit late, see, and rather than
wait until the boss came in tomorrow, I got the boy to do her after
hours quick"

"And on the cheap!" Mags shrilled.

Under the tree at the top of the steps, the Rev. Parry-Tomas looked on.
'It's like one of those snowstorm toys!' he thought, as the
seagull-filled sky framed the man and wife and the gleaming Mrs
Prothero in the gutter, frozen in a moonlit tableau. The backdrop of
the large two-bedroomed semis of Machynlleth Close was a fine testament
to the wealth and beauty of the estate.

*

Mags and Ted finally got Nan Prothero into the corrugated-iron shed
that slumped next to their home. "I've wiped her down a bit, but it's
filthy in here, Ted" said Mags "and the rats'll get through that box in
no time"

"I'll lock the cat in there" Ted said, closing the door - that'll be
just right for Nan Prothero!" Mags didn't understand why Ted chuckled
so much, but was glad to get the task of stashing Mrs Prothero over and
done with.

"So the car's coming tomorrow, Tuesday, is it?" Mags asked.

Ted looked shifty and muttered something.

"What!" yelled Mags

"Er, Saturday" before Mags could react he went on "the only day I could
get cariad, first day I could get!"

"Cancellation! I bet - on the cheap again, Ted Owen!" Mags told him
what she thought of him.

As they disappeared inside, something scuttled in the gutters.

*

"Mam, Mam!"

Christ, what time was it? Mags looked at the clock - 2 in the
morning!

"Man, Mam!"

It was Dylan.

Standing in the street outside, Dylan was screaming his head off -
lights were going on. Mags tried to be calm.

Leaning out the window, she cooed persuasively "Dylan, cariad, hush
now! What's the matter?

"The foxes Mam, the foxes!"

Mags didn't understand, Dylan had been out again and was probably not
really with it - he was seeing things again.

"Dylan, you OK?"

Dylan knew what she meant. "Mam, I've only had eight pints and few e's
, I'm stone sober!" Mags relaxed, a boy of twelve could take that kind
of thing any night.

"What's this about faxes, Dylan darling" Mags was aware of the
neighbours.

"Not faxes, Mam, FOXES, FOXES!

Holding up a battered piece of terribly familiar cardboard, Dylan
shrieked:

"Mam! The foxes! They got Mrs Prothero, Mam, they got her"

and just to make sure the whole estate knew: -

" MAM -THE FOXES, THEY GOT MRS PROTHERO!"

*****

5. The Hunt is On!

"Ted, Ted! Wake up!"

Mags shook her husband violently, then ducked to avoid the swinging
fists which were part of Ted's 'waking up when he didn't want to'
routine.

Ted pulled on some clothes while Mags explained the situation, then he
ran out into the street.

Some of the neighbours had come out and Dylan was telling all and
sundry about Mrs Prothero. There were three men standing by the iron
shed, gazing down at a freshly-dug hole under the side, and a silver
shoe lying in it.

"Oh God! Mrs Prothero's shoe!"

But where was Mrs Prothero?

"Dylan, Dylan, come 'ere boy!"

"Dylan! Exactly what did you see?" Ted shook Dylan mercilessly.

"I saw the foxes draggin' her off up the road - like a shining silver
ghost she was!" Ted got the picture. Running to the shed, he opened the
doors. There, on what remained of the cardboard box, slept the
cat!

"Bastard bloody cat!" he yelled picking up a stone and flinging it at
the unfortunate creature, which ran off yowling.

Mags appeared. "There's only one thing for it!" She looked around at
the men - "you gorra getter back now! Before they eat 'er!"

Ted shook his head - "not with that embalming stuff in er, Mags, they
won't touch er!"

*

They got halfway up the hill towards the wood when batty old Creighton
Beynon made a discovery. He had noticed a small shining silver gleam in
the distance, and moved off towards it ahead of the others. The object
was luminous in the moonlight!

As Creighton drew closer, he began to make out the object - it was a
stick, was it? No, it had a sort of shape, and a bend in the middle.
There were twigs or something on the end. Suddenly it began to dawn on
him what it was.

It was an arm.

*

Ted and the others watched in surprise as Batty Beynon ran full tilt
towards them, shouting incoherently.

"An owl's frightened him!" Laughed Ted, and the others began
chuckling.

However, looking at his face, their laughter soon turned to silence.
They could not understand what he was saying.

Rodge Humphrys shook his head - "he's just potty!"

The others began to relax, thinking that this was the most likely
possibility.

Creighton Beynon, now calm and with a curious grin on his face, brought
his arm from behind his back and offered?.

Mrs Prothero's arm-

- a shining spindly, glowing limb!

The night sky filled with what looked like snowflakes as the men
screamed and yelled.

*

Ted had got everyone calmed down. He was used to hysterical
people.
"Creighton! Give Dylan the arm!" Batty Beynon had been dancing round
with it, poking it towards people and grinning.

"Take it, Dylan, and make sure its safe. Take it back home to your Mam!
But warn her first, like!"

Ted knew his son. Quick as a flash, Dylan had snatched the arm, and was
off. Batty looked disappointed.

"Now, Creighton, boy" Ted spoke softly "why don't you show us where you
found that arm, you clever boyo?"

Delighted, Creighton led them off towards the spot. When they got
there, Ted could see an impression on the grass. Like a ghostly
indicator, it was pointing to the wood!

"Right, off to the wood, lads!" No-one noticed the flattened trail in
the grass that disappeared in a slightly different direction.

The men started scouring the wood, ferreting down every hollow and
hole, scaring scuttling animals which squeaked and hooted.

But they could not find Mrs Prothero, or any sign of the foxes.

*****

6. At Home with the Foxes

Nan Prothero had never been dead before. It was a new experience! 'How
did I do it?' she thought. Eventually, she decided that it didn't
matter; she thought she was here, therefore she was here. 'Didn't some
old philosopher say something like that once?' Nan could not
remember.

Where was she?

She looked around. Ahead was a shining light. 'oh no' she thought, is
that??.
Then she realised that the shining object was an old woman in a silver
dress. 'Wait!' - That was her best dress. 'How dare they!' And it had
mud streaks on it - what was going on?

Nan wasn't a genius, but she wasn't dumb either. 'That's me!' she
realised "that's my body!"
*

Nan found she was floating, and could move around. She also found she
could pass through walls.

'Hoo!' she chuckled - 'this is fun'

Nan spent the night swooping round the town, in and out of people's
houses, in their bedrooms. The things she saw!

By the time she'd spied on almost every family on the estate, she tired
of people and their ways. 'I never knew' she murmured - referring to
any one of the multiple secrets she had gleaned from people's words and
actions. Nan had a sharp brain, and she saw how she could make quite a
lot from this knowledge.

And then it struck her. How could she do anything unless she could
contact the world she had left?

'Must get back to my body' she thought. Perhaps??..

But when she got back, she was gone!

Nan took in the torn cardboard, the hole, and realised something
strange had happened.

She could not help notice the cardboard coffin. 'Good little Teddy -
bach!' she thought to herself - 'He's a good boy - no wasting money on
frivolities - Oh I love that boyo!'

Mrs. Prothero swooped off in the night sky, looking for herself. At
first she dodged the swirling white shapes, which were now settling
gently, but then realised she could pass through them.

*

A few ridges further on, away from the wood, half a dozen foxes were
struggling with a heavy object. They had dragged it here and it was
bloody tiring! It was Mrs. Prothero!

The foxes were stymied - they couldn't get her down their hole. They
had tried to pull her into bits, but one taste of the bitter, burning
fluid in her veins, and they yelped and drew back hastily. Now they did
not know what to do with her. They certainly did not want to take her
back.

She'd just have to sit here. Here, against this tree.

The area was circled by bushes and brambles - which is why the foxes
used it.

The foxes were exhausted. Uncharacteristically, they went to bed early,
tired and hungry.

Mrs Prothero sat, propped against a tree, shining in the dark.

*

Nan had searched for some time, swooping and diving about. She'd missed
the finding of the arm, but had seen Ted and the others searching and
talking about the foxes. 'Good boy, Ted, she thought, good boy'

Her own searches went wider. Then she saw something gleaming. What was
it? Nan swooped lower. 'Was it?' She hardly dared hope. 'It is' she
decided, swooping rapidly down.

'What a sorry sight!' Nan Prothero thought. Her hair was matted, with
soil in it, her dress was dirty and torn, her legs and arm??.. She
stooped. No!

After a while, Nan calmed down then she noticed her remaining limbs.
They were covered in bites. 'Those bloody foxes!' she yelled to
herself.

The foxes woke that night, each one aware of the sensation of being
pummelled by something entirely insubstantial. What disturbed them were
tingly shocks they kept getting, and the feeling of slipping
consciousness. The foxes decided it was 'that bloody luminous meat',
and settled back into a troubled sleep, where a large figure screamed
and chased them.

*

Dylan reached home with the arm. The light was still on - so Mam was up
then!.

Mags was sitting with a mug of leek tea. She thought she heard a noise
outside. As she turned, the door slowly creaked ajar. A hand came into
view, pushing the door open, then an arm. 'Christ' Mags thought, I know
that arm! It poked me in the face tonight?My God!'

Mags leapt up in fear, spilling her tea across the mat, and let out a
scream that woke everyone on the estate. Dogs, cats and budgies howled,
yowled and squeaked in an increasing din, as gulls battered against
windows and the sides of houses in their frenzy.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Dylan slowly appeared, holding the arm
out to his Mam, looking entirely innocent. "Er, Mam, Da asked me to
bring this to you for safe keeping!"

*

Wazz was back home from college for half-term. "What you do?" she
asked, after her brother had stopped sobbing on the other side of the
room. "Nothing" Dylan replied "only what Da told me to".

"Didn't they find Mrs Prothero?"

"Not quite" - Dylan didn't explain.

"Oh it's scary!" said Wazz "she might be out there now, coming to get
us"

"Don't worry" Wazz was sure she heard Dylan giggle "she's
'armless!"

Wazz was reassured, and turned over to go to sleep despite Dylan
apparently sobbing quietly for some time over the other side of the
room.

*****

7. The Ka of Nan Prothero

Nan gradually lowered herself into her body. 'worth a try!' she
thought. It was strange, like lowering yourself into a tub of very thin
mud. There were little shocks, but nothing much happened. Nan
concentrated hard, willing herself back into her body. Still nothing
happened - it couldn't be done!

'Shit!' Nan metaphorically scratched her head, what to do now?

'Oooh, how sweet!' Nan thought. 'Lovely!' As the sun came up, gathered
around her body on the dewy grass, were a crowd of little rabbits. "Oh,
bless!" a tear came to her eye. The rabbits huddled up to Mrs
Prothero's body, seemingly guarding her from harm.

Then Nan found she could communicate with the rabbits, by holding out
her hand into them. It was a fairly basic level, but there was a tiny
flow of thought back and forth. 'They're quite clever really!' thought
Mrs Prothero, and set to work, lying down into the rabbits and
beginning their education.

*

Ted and Mags were sitting at home, sipping leek tea. "You alright, luv"
Mags was concerned. Ted had been up all night - he was in a right old
state.

"Oh, cariad, I just feel so guilty, I promised 'er"

"Now I bloody lost 'er!" Ted added.

"We'll go and look again now it's light" Mags comforted him.

Nan Prothero, who had finished her little chat with the rabbits,
appeared in the room.

'Oh, poor Ted' she thought 'he looks worn out'

Nan went over to Ted and gingerly made contact, sitting down in
him.

Mags was soothing Ted, when she saw his eyes film over. His limbs
started to twitch. "Oh my God!" Mags screamed "he's havin' an attack,
an attack!"

'God that woman's loud!' Nan thought.

'She is' Ted thought back.

'You can hear me?'

'Yes - who are you?'

'It's Nan, Teddy, Nan'

"It's Nan!" Ted said. Mags stopped yelling and stared at him. "She's
talking to me"

"No, don't worry Mags, I'm OK. Just let me see what she wants"

Mags stayed quiet. Perhaps he'd gone mad?

Ted looked as if he was having a conversation. "Oh, there?" he
muttered, "OK"

As Nan withdrew, Ted shook himself slightly and shivered.

"That was funny!" Ted looked at Mags "she told me where she is"

"Rabbits, Mags, rabbits!"

*

Nan Prothero was shocked. The sensation of being in Ted's body was a
revelation. 'Bloody Hell! She thought, bloody weird, that'

But she now knew she could communicate. Nan swooped through the cloud
of gulls, off into the quiet of the iron shed to begin planning.

*

Up on the hills, Ted, Mags, Rodge and Arwel stared at the sight. In the
little enclosed clearing, sat Mrs Prothero. There were rabbits all over
her. At first Mags had the wild thought they might be eating her, but
then she saw the rabbits were licking the dirt off her. Eventually,
there she sat, clean and shiny, neat and peaceful. The torn arm socket
had been covered with clover. The rabbits sat in front of her. It was
spooky!

Ted had the arm. They gently lay Mrs Prothero on the grass. Ted
strapped the arm to the body with gaffer tape. Then they wrapped it all
in vast amounts of brown paper, wrapping the tape around and around the
body.

They stepped back.

"Looks like a bloody brown mummy!" Arwel chuckled.

Ted rounded on him. "Have some respect!" he snapped. "Now - let's get
'er back to the shed!"

The rabbits disappeared down what looked like a foxhole. 'Funny'
thought Mags.

*

They got Mrs Prothero back in the shed, and patched up the holes so
nothing could get in. As the doors closed, Ted threw the cat back
in.

The cat hissed and arched, clearly upset by something in the far
corner, but Ted could see nothing.

'Good boy, Ted!' Mrs Prothero felt proud. Ted was really looking after
her!

*
At the top of the steps, under the tree, the Reverend Parry-Tomas
looked on with approval.

*

Up under the hill, a group of foxes crouched against the wall of their
earth. The earth was full of rabbits - not ordinary rabbits, ready for
that satisfying 'crunch' of the jaws. No! These were angry rabbits,
teeth biting painfully, little claws scratching, scraping. The foxes
were completely outnumbered, with no room to manoeuvre or fight back.
One by one, they succumbed to the ferocious attack, fleeing the earth,
badly nibbled, vowing never to return!

The rabbits left the foxes earth, bloodied and victorious, squeaking a
song of triumph. Even a passing hawk felt strangely fearful and
diverted away to find other prey.

For a while on the estate, there were tales of 'bloody mad rabbits'
from those who wandered on the hill. Many had fingers nipped and some
claimed to have heard a wild, squeaking, chorus floating on the air at
night.

*****

8. Joining Ted

As soon as Ted was rested, Nan invaded him. He was having a pee.

'Good God, Ted!' exclaimed Nan, 'that is really weird!'

'Well, Nan' Ted laughed 'if you don't like it??.'

'No, no Teddy boy, its quite, er quite, well ?interesting!'

Ted finished, shook his todger, and zipped it back up in his fly.

'Now' he thought to Nan. 'what do you want?'

'I'll tell you - now let's go and find a pen and some paper??.'

*

"Warra you up to? " - Mags had been shopping. Ted tried to hide his
writing, but Mags was able to get a look.

"Ted! I didn't know you could write! And so much???.."

Mags read on, then turned to Ted

"Ted, what's this! What the hell???"

"Sssssh!"

'Tell her to bog off, Teddy, we gorra lot more to do!'

'No, Nan, she needs an explanation'

'Hurry up then, boyo, I can't hang around all night, I'm gerrin buried
soon!'

"Don't you 'shush' me ., Ted Owen, I'll??."

"Oh, hush, cariad, I'll explain"

Mags sat down and waited.

"Nan is with me" Ted said.

"Oh"

"She's giving me a list of people and information so that we can, er
'keep an eye on them' after she's gone, and ?'er collect her
debts"

'Good boy, Teddy, keep it up!'

"Er, I gorra write it all down like, before she, er, moves on"

"Is she moving on?"

'tell 'er I am'

"She is, Mags"

'soon'

"very soon"

"oh" Mags did not know what to think.

"Er, OK, don't let me disturb you then, Ted"

'Ted, let's bloody get on with this, I'm gerrin' sort of pulled away if
you know what I mean'

So the rest of the long night, Ted laboured, painstakingly writing down
details of all the people on the estate, their secrets, their hidden
shames, each on a separate page.

*

9. Goodbye Nan!

Come Saturday, Ted had a sore right hand, and a sheaf of paper stuffed
away in the airing cupboard.

That morning, the car came for Mrs Prothero.

Ted was, by now, quite fed up with Nan. He was polite, but he resented
the constant invasion of his body, especially where 'man things' were
involved, for which Nan had a great fascination!

They brought the body, in its brown paper, to the hearse.

"What in God's bloody name??.." started the undertaker, Dai
Evans.

"Sh" whispered Ted "Special request, like." "Dyin' wish" he
added.

"Oh? " Dai wondered what the world was coming to. "OK, bung her in the
back!"

*

As the body was slowly lowered into the grave and the Reverend
Parry-Tomas proclaimed the final words of consolation and blessing, the
soul of Nan Prothero, previously swooping about the churchyard among
the gulls, was sucked into the grave, and from there floated away on
high, to meet her maker.

'Bye Teddy, be good!' was the last Ted heard of her.

"Gor, warra relief!" Ted exclaimed. The Reverend nodded approvingly to
Ted.

"Indeed my son, she is at peace now!"

Under his breath, Ted muttered "You don' know the 'alf of it!"

*

"When you gonna hear about Nan Prothero's will, Ted ? - she got that
big house an' all"

"Dunno, Mags" Ted was busy with sheaves of paper, sorting them into
bundles.

"Reverend Parry-Tomas was asking for you earlier"

"Daft old bugger, I think he's gone doolally!"

"He's a nice old man, Ted"

"After what you did in the supermarket, you gorra say that,
Mags!"

Mags blushed, and hurried off to the kitchen, where she banged pots
together noisily for a while.

There was a sharp rapping at the door.

"Get that, Dylan!" Mags commanded.

Shouting started in the hall, and a figure burst into the room.

"Ted! I got to talk to you"

It was the Reverend Parry-Tomas!

*****

10. All is revealed!

The Reverend was breathless.

"Oh, sit down, Reverend" Mags invited. "What's all this about? Not?.."
She blushed.

"Oh no, Mags dear, that's forgotten, don't you worry, Ted explained you
thought it was him - I'm always in favour of ..er ..variety in a
marriage" Mags blushed again.

"But I digress!"

"Well, that's up to you, Reverend!" Ted had misunderstood.

"Shuddup, Ted!"

Smiling, Mags invited the Reverend to explain.

"Yes, Mags, quite. You see, Mrs Prothero?"

"Nan Prothero!" Ted asked in surprise.

"Yes, er, Nan, that's right. Well, I have to explain that Mrs Prothero
set me a task?.."

"Go on!"

"?.er, to keep an eye on you."

Ted was outraged.

"Keep an eye on me, keep an eye on me? What do you mean?"

Ted felt betrayed.

"Oh, shush, Ted!" Mags soothed "Do go on, Reverend"

"I am the executor of Mrs Prothero's will. As you know, it was always
her intention to leave you all her wordly possessions"

Ted nodded.

"On condition you made sure there was no funny business about her
before she was buried"

'Oh God' thought Ted 'He saw everything - the foxes - the arm!' Ted
groaned.

"No, its Ok Ted!" Reassured Reverend Parry-Tomas." Not only did I come
to the conclusion that you had done everything Mrs Prothero had
asked.."

"But?.."

"Ted, it was men she was worried about, or some silly boy at the
undertaker's messin' about with her - you fixed all that"

"But the foxes!"

"She wasn't bothered about foxes - or rabbits for that matter!"

"You know! How?"

"Well that's what I came to tell you. Nan er.. visited me"

"You as well? What a pain she was ?.. bless her, I mean!"

"No, I know what you mean - and remember I'm a confirmed
bachelor"

Mags looked puzzled. Neither of the two men enlightened her.

"Well, to cut it short, here's the details of her will, and
congratulations!"

The Reverend placed a white envelope on the table.

Ted was over the moon. "Have a drink, Reverend, I insist!" He hurried
out to the kitchen. "I got some special stuff"

"Lionel?" the Reverend queried. "Yes" Mags had seen the Reverend
leaving Lionel's house several times.

Wazz came down stairs. Mags thought she seemed very quiet, but thought
nothing of it. "Finished in the bathroom, luv?" she asked. "I'll just
nip up there then. Excuse me Reverend" she added.

Ted came back with the bottles, handing one to the Reverend. "Hello
Wazz" He greeted her. Wazz remained silent.

*

Mags took the package from the wardrobe in her bedroom and hurried to
the bathroom. She had suspected for a couple of weeks now. Why she had
run out of pills, she didn't know. She'd thought she had plenty. There
had been a bit of a gap while she got the new ones.

Mags gazed at the pregnancy test in horror. No! It was positive. In a
daze, Mags carefully put the box down on the shelf in the
bathroom.

Next to it was an identical box, and next to that, an identical
result!

*

Mags came back into the room. She stared at Wazz.

"Oh Mam!" Wazz jumped up and hugged her Mam "It's great Mam! Not only
am I at Uni, but I'm pregnant as well. The other girls are goin' to be
really jealous!"

"You're pregnant!" Ted muttered, bewildered.

Mags stood back, holding Wazz at arms length.

"And Ted, so am I!"

*

The gulls wheeled for hours around the estate. The Reverend eventually
staggered home, and later the lights went out one by one at Yr
Valrog.

On the table lay a wad of money, a bundle of papers, and a white
envelope, forgotten and unopened.

In the iron shed, something was weakly scratching at the door.

As the darkness boiled down from the wood, the world turned, heading
for the breaking dawn of a new day.

Who could guess what it would bring?

END

? John F Griffiths 2002