grover

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155 reads

7220 Seconds

By grover on Sun, 15 Dec 2024

Two hours and twenty seconds. Tick-tock, the clock goes, waiting for the body to shake, to convulse, to rise.

Horror

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78 reads

The Worm

By grover on Thu, 05 Dec 2024

Of all of my books, it is De Vermis Mysteriis that is the most mysterious. An old book copied from much older sources, translated into different languages and kept hidden, it details long lost civilisations and their monstrous gods. For our history is a crafted lie, created to hide the fact that we are not the first intelligent races to exist on this planet.

Horror

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444 reads

The Street Man

By grover on Fri, 22 Nov 2024

There’d been five sightings so far of the mysterious figure of a ghoulish old man in a tattered black suit standing on random streets, staring up at the viewer from the past when the van had photographed the street as it drove by. Tall, stooped over with arthritic pain, withered face with the blueish colour of death, the Street Man was a creepy enigma.

Horror

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479 reads

Level Up

By grover on Mon, 09 Mar 2020

When you're at the top level of a game, what's next? Is it game over, or does it go on forever? For fans of Ready Player One

Science fiction

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957 reads

14 of my comments have received 15 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

Loved the writing! I was so

Posted on Mon, 23 Dec 2013

Loved the writing! I was so captivated by it. Your descriptions were so crisp and the story itself, short as it is, was great. I see the narrator of the tale becoming the hermit at the shrine as the wars fight on. There were no dates or places...

Posted in Coventry carol

1 Vote

Use the top hat man againt:

Posted on Sun, 18 May 2014

Use the top hat man againt: fantastic creation of character. Loved him. Really dark and gruesome story, I'd read more about this.

Posted in Balance

1 Vote

I liked how you built in some

Posted on Thu, 29 May 2014

I liked how you built in some background to the story, revealing more about Chris which I'm sure we'll learn more about. However, there's a couple of points here... It's half caste, however, it's generally considered an offensive term. Probably...

Posted in Ch9: Stolen May 17th

1 Vote

It's a great setting and well

Posted on Wed, 28 May 2014

It's a great setting and well written, but at this point in the story I think we need a little something to start happening. I'm hoping in the next part. Isolation on a lonely island when night comes in could be really creepy and I hope you play...

Posted in Ch7: May 16th part one

1 Vote

It's well written - though if

Posted on Thu, 15 May 2014

It's well written - though if I'm being picky I'd watch the commas in the first paragraph as it breaks the flow a little and first paragraphs are important. I'm not sure what genre this will turn out as and have no idea where it's going. The set...

Posted in Ch1: Stolen May 14th part 1

1 Vote

Finally got the time to get

Posted on Thu, 10 Apr 2014

Finally got the time to get back to this - sorry it's been a while.

I think the only advice I can give here is maybe watch the dialogue. I find some isn't necessary, particularly when another character interjects.EG:

“Subdued?”...

Posted in The Labour Planet A Working Title Part Five

1 Vote

Interesting turn of plot -

Posted on Sun, 30 Mar 2014

Interesting turn of plot - there is a sense of something sinister building up here. I don't think it's going to turn out very nice! You're keeping the plot nice and snappy with a sense of doom about the entire piece. You could sharpen this a...

Posted in The Labour Planet - Working Title - Part Two - 1103 words

1 Vote

Good start Moya. For a longer

Posted on Sat, 29 Mar 2014

Good start Moya. For a longer piece I'd pace out the backstory as the action takes a little back seat. We only need to know a disaster has caused people to flee the earth. It ends with the promise of adventure which is good. Watch for the...

Posted in The Labour Planet - A Working Title - First Draft

1 Vote

That was a great little piece

Posted on Thu, 06 Mar 2014

That was a great little piece. Structure and flow was good and if I might say, smooth. There's only one bit that seemed a little jarring and it's near the end where you mention France at the end of two sentences. It felt slightly repetitive but...

Posted in Ghosts

1 Vote

I really liked this. I found

Posted on Wed, 11 Dec 2013

I really liked this. I found it nostaglic and the descriptions were spot on. How I miss those Saturday nights waiting for Doctor Who. If there is one thing I could suggest, it would be to maybe cut down on the first main paragraph as it's a...