bosch
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I have 75 stories published in
3 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 97232 times
and 42 of my stories have been cherry picked.
16 of my 197 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 16 votes
Read one of the 133,299 stories from our 20,064 authors
I have 75 stories published in
3 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 97232 times
and 42 of my stories have been cherry picked.
16 of my 197 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 16 votes
Parson, you've got a poem
Posted on Tue, 29 May 2018
Parson, you've got a poem here. much too long, would starken it up. get rid of everything you can stand to, and maybe even a little more, anything that doesn't add to your poem dilutes it, the effect. perhaps make the exchanges, the speech, even...
Read full commentPosted in Carboniferous limestone
¨i thought of the ruby red
Posted on Mon, 26 Aug 2019
¨i thought of the ruby red colour when i lost the baby. it came dripping out of me, but i already knew.¨
and so another tale of the disenfranchised, those without a voice. in my poems a key word is essence, and so in your prose, a stripped...
Read full commentPosted in good tears and bad.
they will alwys be yours
Posted on Mon, 12 Aug 2019
they will alwys be yours
good story
Read full commentPosted in Katy, A Ghost Story (IP)
a grim look into the way time
Posted on Sat, 08 Sep 2018
a grim look into the way time carries us along, the way the relationships of our youth are forever.
Posted in two-faced
cut the first line, and
Posted on Thu, 19 Jul 2018
cut the first line, and
"O, to capture what's within, and get it down"
which may take care of the need for the first two
stanzas 3, 4, 5, 6 pretty self-indulgent, don't establish their reality.
you write a lot...
Read full commentPosted in Lost in a space
hi, not to be argumentative,
Posted on Sat, 23 Jun 2018
hi, not to be argumentative, seeking discourse on your poem and not adversary, insert is a smart woman and she sees your poem as if written by a child. i don't, though your speaker seems to be naive, perhaps simple in a good way, which is why a...
Read full commentPosted in In your shoes
take out :A life made bland
Posted on Sat, 23 Jun 2018
take out :A life made bland by ease." and see how it reads. reads cleanly, clearly, (apparenly my favorite words of the moment) to me.
have to repeat, "Have you seen a real tree?" not only is it overkill, but it could be read as a bit...
Read full commentPosted in In your shoes
hi, would cut the editorial
Posted on Sat, 23 Jun 2018
hi, would cut the editorial "A life made bland by ease."
would cut "Have you seen a real tree?" as overkill.
good poem Di.
Read full commentPosted in In your shoes
if you have true love in tow
Posted on Thu, 14 Jun 2018
if you have true love in tow then all the rest is details.
Read full commentPosted in The art of keeping going
Parson, oh Parson: you are
Posted on Sun, 10 Jun 2018
Parson, oh Parson: you are such a natural writer that i think you are sometimes lax. the pieces of yours that i've read have been to borrow another's comment on another of your poems, "gentle", in a good way, in a tolerant, encompassing way. that...
Read full commentPosted in Sunday morning street cafe
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