I have 17 stories published in
one collection on the site.
My stories have been read 461568 times
and 170 of my stories have been cherry picked. 2214 of my 14,658 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 2262 votes
2214 of my comments have received 2262 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
Me too! You might want to
Posted on Mon, 01 Feb 2016
Me too! You might want to remove one of the two consequentlys here:
Consequently, a young gentleman was often judged on the size of his folly. Consequently, any young unmarried gentleman who never displayed his ha-ha to his intended was...
Prologues are definitely not old hat when they're as good as this one. I'll leave the pork pie and dinner date for someone else but will just highlight the tiny bit of comic genius that made me snigger:
A nice start. I like the slow introduction of the typical English beach stuff, and then all the gradual clues that it's far from typical. I'd definitely like to read more and find out what happens!
how about keeping the kamikaze mention on the TV documentary, then have dead german pilots/bombers in the man's memories. I think the Japanese only operated in the East and against the Us forces. You'd really lose something if you had to do away...
The fourth and fifth paragraph need some editing (typos etc) and are a little confusing in places. Other than that I really enjoyed this. A really good introduction and a fabulous ending - well done!
Me too! You might want to
Posted on Mon, 01 Feb 2016
Me too! You might want to remove one of the two consequentlys here:
Consequently, a young gentleman was often judged on the size of his folly. Consequently, any young unmarried gentleman who never displayed his ha-ha to his intended was...
Read full commentPosted in A Notorious Historical Dandy
Prologues are definitely not
Posted on Mon, 18 Jan 2016
Prologues are definitely not old hat when they're as good as this one. I'll leave the pork pie and dinner date for someone else but will just highlight the tiny bit of comic genius that made me snigger:
'St Diodatis, patron saint of...
Read full commentPosted in Highly Strung
A nice start. I like the slow
Posted on Sun, 17 Jan 2016
A nice start. I like the slow introduction of the typical English beach stuff, and then all the gradual clues that it's far from typical. I'd definitely like to read more and find out what happens!
Read full commentPosted in Bullets Over Broadstairs
how about keeping the
Posted on Tue, 12 Jan 2016
how about keeping the kamikaze mention on the TV documentary, then have dead german pilots/bombers in the man's memories. I think the Japanese only operated in the East and against the Us forces. You'd really lose something if you had to do away...
Read full commentPosted in As long as sea beats on stone
A well-painted authentic
Posted on Thu, 07 Jan 2016
A well-painted authentic picture albeit a grim one. There are a couple of places where the present tense shouldn't be.
Read full commentPosted in The Drop Zone
The fourth and fifth
Posted on Sun, 27 Dec 2015
The fourth and fifth paragraph need some editing (typos etc) and are a little confusing in places. Other than that I really enjoyed this. A really good introduction and a fabulous ending - well done!
Read full commentPosted in The Glasses
what a beautiful rhythm this
Posted on Sat, 26 Dec 2015
what a beautiful rhythm this has bee
Read full commentPosted in You Send Me
a very interesting piece!
Posted on Sat, 26 Dec 2015
a very interesting piece!
Read full commentPosted in “We must dare to invent the future”
nice dialogue!
Posted on Sat, 19 Dec 2015
nice dialogue!
Read full commentPosted in AlterNativity - Part 4 - Get Away! In A Manger
Very nice! Two terrifyingly
Posted on Sun, 13 Dec 2015
Very nice! Two terrifyingly vivid characters I very much look forward to reading more about.
there's a 'was' missing from your penultimate para
Posted in 'The first date' a chapter from my new novel 'And?'
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